not Pickford, we left; him with a smile upon his
face— a smile which seemed to say, " You've
got a smattering of me, a taste, a notion, but it
would take you months to learn all my business."
We nodded in reply— on the Lord Burleigh
principle— intending our nod to convey
that we knew all that, but that we had got sufficient
for our purpose— the rest was his business,
and very well he does it.

A TRIP IN THE UNHOLY LAND.

IN TWO CHAPTERS.

CHAPTER THE SECOND.

"THEY are not to be excused, sir; neither the
government nor the Times, and you are mighty
mean, begging your pardon, for trying to excuse
them. As to the Times, there are no gentlemen
in the concern, or they would know how to
treat a gentleman. I pay my bets, and answer
my letters, and you may call me a Yankee, and
no gentleman, when I neglect either, sir."
Thus argued and remonstrated my long loose-jointed
ungraceful companion, Mr. Mordant,
raising himself lazily on his elbow in his berth,
where he lounged, when he was not on deck.
There was no sign about him, ordinarily, of
the life and enthusiasm of his nature, except
his burning hazel eyes. "And then," continued
Mordant, " these fellows have no humanity, sir!
They must have known that my country was
lying like a stone on my heart. They might
have said 'Our rules exclude your pieces, sir,
but we feel for you as a man and as a Southerner.'
They did nothing of the kind, sir. They simply
non-suited me in their cursed court. Corporations
have no souls, sir; and when human
beings are organised into machines, they cease
to be human, sir. Your government has got
the same complaint as the Times; neither of
the two is human, sir."

"Justice to many often bears hard on the
individual, Mr. Mordant."

"There is no use in talking, sir. You English
see the fix we are in; we feel it. There's the
difference. If any how you come to feel it, your
government will move; not till then."

"But we have felt your troubles in our cotton
famine."

"A mere fleabite, sir. Your trade is all the
better for the fast-day, sir, and your operatives
have not fasted. I wonder how they'd relish a
pint of Indian meal, and a quarter of a pound
of bacon a day! They'd fight about it, as hard
as our soldiers fight on it, sir. But it's no use
talking. I've tried for British help and sympathy
and failed. I'll go home and help our
folks to help themselves." And he turned his
face to the wall. I could not enlighten his
dim and partial perception, but I felt a sincere
sympathy for him.

As we drew near our port, everybody seemed
in dread of something, or somebody. Avery
and his wife were more cringingly attentive to
us; but no one seemed really happy and honestly
friendly, except the dog Muster. Even Jeremiah
was for some hours in a brown study, during our
last day at sea. But when I said to him significantly,
"Are you troubled at landing in New York
with such a variety of affairs on your hands?"
he pulled Muster's ears, as if his cares were
over.

"I have worked it out," he said. "I was
skeery a bit, but, fact is, I always fall on my
feet. I have had good luck t'other side. I
have done what Seward set me to do, and I have
'tended to my own affairs, and my friends', and
I have an anchor to windward for humanity.
Now, about going ashore. I think you'd better
go up to the Fifth Avenue Hotel. You are
short of breath, and they've got a what-do-you-call-it
there, to carry folks to the upper regions.
You step on to a platform, as if you was going
to be weighed, and up you rise, like a Medium
or a Millerite, and stop at the second, third, or
seventh story. If your room should be five
thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine, as it
probably will be considering the crush, the
machine will be very convenient."

"Are there no hotels that are not so crowded,
Mr. Grierson?"

"You are in for an Almighty squeeze now,
with the army and the anniversaries, but I have
engaged a room at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, and
I can stay with my relations and let you have
my place. You will a leetle more than fill it," he
said, smiling at my stout form. " You will pay
three-fifty a day, unless you have extras, and you
look a leetle like extras."

"You are very kind, sir."

He pulled his dog's ears.

"You did not throw a sprat to catch a whale,
but the dog and I know who was friendly;
don't we, Muster?"

"How are you going to dispose of the rest of
your family, Mr. Grierson ?"

"Well, Mrs. Pendleton is going to the Columbia
at Jersey City. It's up by the outskirts,
and she and the babies will smell the sweetbriar.
The bishop, I take it, will go with them. I was
puzzled about Mordant, but I have concluded
to adopt him for my cousin from Iowa. West
and South are all the same to most of our folks.
He would get caught like a sheep, if he had not
a protector, and he would stare and stamp like
one, and draw a revolver, and a bowie knife, and
a sword from his cane, all ' to onct,' as the
Western folks say. I want a cousin, and he
wants common sense, and exchange is no
robbery."

"He does not want for courage, or a kind
heart," I remarked.

"That's so; but how much do you think
his kind heart would pass for with Avery?
Twouldn't fetch much in the New York market,
either. I'd like to fit him out with a sky-blue
tail for a monkey, and a cloven foot for
his other parient. My cares are off my mind
now unless something turns up, but nothing
ever happens just as you expect. We might
reasonably suppose that the first policeman who
came on deck would clutch Mordant like a hawk
does a hen, and so I am in hopes he won't."