been shot through the heart, and then took
post-horses for Zurich. It was and is a masterpiece
of the bewildering imbroglio style. Cultivate
your great gifts, then, my friend. You will
be a treasure to the court of Cresswell, and the
most injured of men or the basest of seducers
will not be able at the end of a suit to say
which must kneel down and ask pardon of the
other. I suppose I ought to say I'm sorry for
Barnard, but I can't. No, Algy, I cannot. He
was an arrant snob, and, if he had lived, he'd
have gone about telling the most absurd stories
and getting people to believe them, just on the
faith of his stupidity. If there is a ridiculous
charge in the world, it is that of 'firing before
one's time,' which, to make the most of it, must
be a matter of seconds, and involves, besides, a
question as to the higher inflammability of one's
powder. I don't care who made mine, but I
know it did its work well. I'm glad, however,
that you did not deign to notice that
contemptible allegation, and merely limited
yourself to what resulted. Your initials and the stars
showered over the paragraph, are in the highest
walk of legerdemain, and I can no more trace
relatives to antecedents, than I can tell what
has become of the egg I saw Houdin smash in
my hat.

"I know, however, I mustn't come back just
yet. There is that shake-of-the-headiness abroad
that makes one uncomfortable. Fortunately,
this is no sacrifice to me. My debts keep me
out of London, just as effectually as my morals.
Besides this, my dear Algy, I'm living in the
very deepest of clover, domesticated with a
maiden aunt and two lovely nieces, in a villa on
an Italian lake, my life and comforts being the
especial care of the triad. Imagine an infant-
school occupied in the care of a young tiger of
the spotted species, and you may, as the Yankees
say, realise the situation. But they seem to
enjoy the peril of what they are doing, or they
don't see it, I can't tell which.

"' Gazetted out,' you say; 'Meno male,'
as they say here. I might have been promoted,
and so tempted to go back to that land of Bores,
Bearers, and Bungalores, and I am grateful to
the stumble that saves me from a fall. But you
ask, What do I mean to do? and I own I do not
see my way to anything. Time was when
gentleman-riding, coach-driving, or billiards, were
on a par with the learned professions; but, my
dear Drayton, we have fallen upon a painfully
enlightened age, and every fellow can do a little
of everything.

"You talk of my friends? You might as well
talk of my Three per Cents. If I had friends,
it would be natural enough they should help me
to emigrate as a means of seeing the last of me;
but I rather suspect that my relatives, who by
a figure of speech represent the friends aforesaid,
have a lively faith that some day or other
the government will be at the expense of my
passage—that it would be quite superfluous in
them to provide for it.

"You hint that I might marry, meaning
thereby marry with money; and, to be sure,
there's Barnard's widow with plenty of tin, and
exactly in that stage of affliction that solicits
consolation; for when the heart is open to
sorrow, Love occasionally steps in before the
door closes. Then, a more practical case. One
of these girls here—the fortune is only fifteen
thousand—I think over the matter day and
night, and I verily believe I see it in the light
of whatever may be the weather at the time:
very darkly on the rainy days; not so gloomy
when the sky is blue and the air balmy.

"Do you remember that fellow that I stayed
behind for at the Cape, and thereby lost my
passage, just to quarrel with—Headsworth?
Well, a feeling of the same sort is tempting me
sorely at this time. There is one of these girls,
a poor delicate thing, very pretty, and coquettish
in her way, has taken it into her wise head to
prefer a stupid loutish sort of young sucking
barrister to me, and treats me with an ingenious
blending of small compassion and soft pity to
console my defeat. If you could ensure my
being an afflicted widower within a year, I'd
marry her, just to show her the sort of edged
tool she has been playing with. I'm often half
driven to distraction by her impertinent
commiseration. I tried to get into a row with the
man, but he would not have it. Don't you
hate the fellow that won't quarrel with you,
worse even than the odious wretch who won't
give you credit?

"I might marry the sister, I suppose, tomorrow;
but that alone is a reason against it.
Besides, she is terribly healthy; and though I
have lost much faith in consumption, from cases
I have watched in my own family, bad air and
bad treatment will occasionally aid its march.
Could you, from such meagre data as these,
help me with a word of advice? for I do like the
advice of an unscrupulous dog like yourself so
sure to be practical. Then there is no cant
between men like us—we play 'cartes sur
table.'

"The old maid who represents the head of
this house has been confidentially sounding me
as to an eligible investment for some thousands
which have fallen in from a redeemed mortgage.
I could have said, 'Send them to me, and you
shall name the interest yourself;' but I was
modest, and did not. I bethought me, however,
of a good friend, one Algy Drayton, a man of
large landed property, but who always wants
money for drainage. Eh, Algy! Are your lips
watering at the prospect? If so, let your
ingenuity say what is to be the security.

"Before I forget it, ask Pearson if he has
any more of that light Amontillado. It is the
only thing ever sets me right, and I have been
poorly of late. I know I must be out of sorts,
because all day yesterday I was wretched and
miserable at my misspent life and squandered
abilities. Now, in my healthier moments, such
thoughts never cross me. I'd have been honest
if Nature had dealt fairly with me; but the
younger son of a younger brother starts too
heavily weighted to win by anything but a
'foul.' You understand this well, for we are