there's no fear of that; we shall win by
close upon two hundred. Purity for hever!
There's nothing like purity when you can
stick to it without danger to your cause.
And I say, purity for hever! It's the safest
game to play, if you CAN play it. Petitions
are hawkward things, you know; and I say,
keep clear of 'em."

"You've had great experience, Mr. Tompkins,
in the matter of elections? Pure, of
course?"

"Of course, pure," replied the Man in
the Moon. "Everything's pure until its
found out to be the other thing. Yet I've
known boroughs where, on the purest
principles, mutton chops have become so
scarce that the candidate, having a
particular fancy for mutton chops, couldn't
get 'em under five guineas a pound—a
fact, I assure you. A particular friend of
mine, who wanted a toasting fork— I don't
know why he wanted such a cook maid's
utensil—had to pay ten pounds for it, and
the article, when he had got it, wasn't
worth two-and-six. As for ribbons, I've
known 'em so scarce—of a particular
colour, you must recollect—that you
couldn't get 'em under two guineas a yard,
though, had there been no election going
on, you might have bought thousands of
yards at sixpence halfpenny, or less than
that. And heggs, too. I've seen great
fluctuations in the price of heggs. Once
I couldn't get a hegg for my principal, who
was not perhaps my principal after all,
under fifty shillings. And the hegg, when
it was boiled, was all but a chicken."

"But the English, according to all
accounts, are a pure, honest, and
incorruptible people," replied I.

"Hover the left," said the Man in the
Moon. "Some of 'em are when they're
well-to-do in the world and owe no man a
penny. But there's few of that sort now-
a-days, at least in boroughs that return
members to Parliament. Perhaps there
ain't any anywhere else, unless they be
dukes, and I'm not sure even of them."

"Do the people who sell mutton chops
and toasting forks and ribbons at these
extravagant prices keep faith?"

"Yes!" he replied, slowly and deliberately.
"They keep faith. There is honour
among thieves; and a man who sells mutton
chops for five guineas a pound is an
honourable man. It's the scarcity you know.
Why should he sell chops for coppers,
when he can get gold? You needn't buy
his chops if you don't like 'em. All's fair
and above board. As for his vote, he votes
as he said he would—after you have bought
the chops!"

At this point of the conversation a dirty
little note, sealed in coarse red wax, with
the impression of a thumb upon it, was
brought to me by the waiter. It was a
request that I would name an early hour
that day to receive a deputation from the
Jolterheads. It was signed by Abraham
Slugg, the chairman of a meeting of that
body. I handed it to Mr. Tompkins, who
read it, and said: "Have nothing to do
with the Jolterheads; see them if you like;
but promise them nothing. They want to
be bought—ten pounds a head is their
price; don't they wish they may get it?
and there are fifty of them. Let 'em all go
over to the other side if they like. They're
of no use to us. We don't want 'em. We're
going to win on the principles of purity;
and if we touch such pitch as Mr. Abraham
Slugg and the Jolterheads, we shall be
defiled."

The Jolterheads were so called from
the sign of a public-house in which they
were accustomed to hold their meetings,
and numbered, as the Man in the Moon
had said, about fifty men. They were
the "freemen," so-called, of the borough,
and in close contests were, by their strict
organisation as well as numbers, enabled
to turn the scale in favour of either
candidate. There was a tradition in the
borough that during one very obstinately
contested struggle, each Jolterhead
received a hundred pounds for his vote; but
this was in a day long anterior to the
Reform Bill of 1832, and was not personally
remembered even by that generally
inaccurate individual, the oldest inhabitant.
The price of a Jolterhead and his vote had
come down to a maximum of ten pounds,
but the Jolterheads, though corrupt and
extortionate, were not proud, and would
take what they could get, and were by no
means likely to refuse half a sovereign,
provided always that there was not the slightest
chance of their receiving a larger sum. I
was not aware of these facts, but the Man
in the Moon had ferretted them out before
he had been three hours in the borough,
and had, no doubt, some knowledge of them
before he entered it.

The Jolterheads, with Mr. Abraham Slugg,
their chairman, were shown up to my room
at nine o'clock on the morning of the
election, and the legal agent of the Liberal
candidate, as well as Mr. Tompkins, was
there by appointment. Mr. Tompkins had
declared war against the Jolterheads on