Nor, indeed, is this the culminating point
of the wretched heresy: for landed properties,
we are further informed, are to be
bought and sold as stocks, and ships, and
railway shares are bought and sold. With no
more serious invocation of the majesty of the
law than is to be discovered in the filling up
of printed forms, and with no greater experience
of its proverbial and proper delay than the
half-hour expended in that miserable process.
Have I not reason to say, that I don't know
what the law is coming to?

Without further comment, however, let me
tell, in my own way, through what careful, well-
conceived processes of law Robinson passed, no
longer ago than last summer, before he became
the happy possessor of his little place in the
country:

It was very hot in town, and the soul of
citizen Robinson yearned for the country. He
was a warm man, his neighbours said; but the
City was infinitely warmer, and so his heart
went out to where the foliage was reputed to be
green, and the sparrows, he had been told,
appeared of a natural brown.

What wonder, then, that Robinson, as he
perspired in his dingy counting-house, allowed
his eye to rest with a cool pleasure upon the
announcements which his newspaper conveyed
to him, of delightful villas to be sold
immediately; of smooth lawns sloping down to
flowing rivers and shady avenues of stately trees
impervious to the sun, crying aloud for
purchasers; of one especially, a desirable freehold
residence of indescribable capabilities and
unheard-of advantages, of which immediate
possession might be had? What wonder that,
when Mrs. R., the partner of his bosom,
declared that it was "the very thing she had
always longed for," and above all the very thing
for the dear children, that Robinson should say
to himself, "I will be the immediate possessor
of this desirable freehold residence and the cool
shrubberies, if it can be done?" Messrs. Verbon,
Wordy, and Folio were the gentlemen to put
him right in that respect; and, to that eminent
conveyancing firm he applied forthwith. Of
course it could be done.

"And, after the requisite legal formalities
have been complied with," said Mr. Wordy,
who was the speaking partner, "you can have
possession, Mr. Robinson, at once."

It was a long time before these gentlemen
met again, and the thermometer hadn't fallen
one degree in the interim; but the legal formalities
had been in full play.

"I have signed the conditions of sale on your
behalf, Mr. Robinson," said Mr. Wordy, when
they did meet; "and, in the course of ten days
or a fortnight, I expect we shall receive the
abstract of title."

"The what?" said Robinson.

"The abstract of title."

"What is an abstract of title?"

"Well," said Mr. Wordy, settling himself
down to a tough piece of legal exposition,
"an abstract is a history—a concise history, I
may say—of the title. It generally commences
some sixty or seventy years back, and brings
the matter by gradations up to the present time.
Carefully, Mr. Robinson, carefully, and with no
undue precipitation. It is very apt, we find,
to get hold of a gentleman who flourished at
a remote period, and to exhaust him and everybody
connected with him, to say nothing of
the leading legal incidents of his life, by a
strong dose of 'And Whereases,' as, for instance,
' And Whereas he intermarried with somebody'
—giving the particulars of that event and a
slight sketch of the settlements; 'And Whereas
he had issue'—describing them; 'And Whereas
he became in some way or another connected
with the property under consideration'—very
full description of this; and 'And Whereas he
died;' and 'And Whereas they (the issue) died,
and whereas she (the wife) died.' Then,
having effected this satisfactorily, it naturally
proceeds to perform the same kind office for
somebody else. Sometimes," proceeds Mr.
Wordy, " it becomes involved in a Chancery
suit, and then it furnishes a short narrative
of the facts—as 'And Whereas a bill was filed,'
followed by a pretty full summary of the
bill. 'And Whereas somebody died, and a
supplemental bill was filed'—summary as before;
'And Whereas an order was made'—order given
generously; 'And Whereas somebody else was
found to be a necessary party to the suit'—
explanation of the circumstances; 'And Whereas
another order was made'—substance stated;
'And Whereas a baby was born, and immediately
appeared by its next friend'—full description
of baby; 'And Whereas it was discovered that
everybody wasn't before the court'—lavish
explanation of this discovery; 'And Whereas a
receiver was appointed'—and 'And Whereas a
decree was made'—decree stated in extenso.
Occasionally," continued Mr. Wordy, "the legal
estate becomes detached from the equitable,
and this, I confess, creates a difficulty. I have
myself, at present, a case of this description in
hand, where the legal estate is prospecting either
in California or British Columbia; but, as we
don't exactly know which, we shall be compelled
to obtain the assistance of the court before
dealing with the property.

"To return to the abstract. It is one of the most
notable characteristics of this instrument, Mr.
Robinson, that it never allows you to forget what
has gone before, no matter what its length may
be. Everything that is stated in the first deed, is
carefully recapitulated in the second. Everything
that is stated in the first and second
deeds, is carefully recapitulated in the third, and
so on: each recapitulation artfully concluding
with the introduction of a few new characters
and incidents, until—as in the immortal history
of the messuage or mansion-house erected by
one Jack— we arrive at the priest all shaven and
shorn, when, as a matter of course, we have the
dog, and the cat, and the rat, and the cow, and
every circumstance in due order up to the
matrimonial denouement of that narrative. Then
the abstract is complete."