"And I am very sorry I have not 'an amiable
worldling' for my sister, instead of an unamiable
and devilish conceited Christian."

And, with these bitter words, Alfred snatched
a candle and bounced to bed in a fury. So apt
is one passion to rouse up others.

Jane Hardie let fall a gentle tear: but consoled
herself with the conviction that she had done her
duty, and that Alfred's anger was quite unreasonable,
and so he would see as soon as he should cool.

The next day the lover, smarting under this
check, and spurred to fresh efforts, invaded
Sampson. That worthy was just going to dine
at Albion Villa, so Alfred postponed pumping
him till next day. Well, he called at the inn
next day, and if the doctor was not just gone
back to London!

"I have no luck!" thought Alfred; and
wandered disconsolate homewards.

In the middle of Buchanan-street, an agitated
treble called after him, "Mr. Halfred! hoh, Mr.
Halfred!" He looked back and saw Dick Absalom,
a promising young cricketer, brandishing a
document and imploring aid. "O, Master Halfred,
dooee please come here. I durstn't leave the
shop."

There is a tie between cricketers far too strong
for social distinctions to divide, and, though
Alfred muttered peevishly "whose cat is dead
now?" he obeyed the strange summons.

The distress was a singular one. Master
Absalom, I must premise, was the youngest of
two lads in the employ of Mr. Jenner, a benevolent
old chemist, a disciple of Malthus. Jenner
taught the virtues of drugs and minerals to
tender youths, at the expense of the public.
Scarcely ten minutes had elapsed since a pretty
servant girl came into the shop, and laid a paper
on the counter, saying, "Please to make that up,
young man." Now at fifteen we are gratified
by inaccuracies of this kind from ripe female lips:
so Master Absalom took the prescription with a
complacent grin; his eye glanced over it; it fell
to shaking in his hand; chill dismay penetrated
his heart; and, to speak with oriental strictness,
his liver turned instantly to water. However,
he made a feeble clutch at Mercantile Mendacity,
and stammered out, "Here's a many hingredients,
and the governor's out walking, and he's been
and locked the drawer where we keeps our
Prætorium. You couldn't come again in half an
hour, Miss, could ye?" She acquiesced readily,
for she was not habitually called Miss, and she
had a follower, a languid one, living hard by, and
belonged to a class which thinks it consistent to
come after its followers.

Dicky saw her safe off, and groaned at his ease.
Here was a prescription full of new chemicals,
sovereign, no doubt; i.e. deadly when applied
Jennerically; and the very directions for use were
in Latin words he had encountered in no
prescription before. A year ago Dicky would have
counted the prescribed ingredients on his fingers,
and then taken down an equal number of little
articles, solid or liquid, mixed them, delivered
them, and so to cricket, serene: but now, his
mind, to apply the universal cant, was "in a
transition state." A year's practice had chilled,
the youthful valour, which used to scatter Epsom
salts, or oxalic acid; magnesia, or something white.
An experiment or two by himself and his compeers,
with comments by the coroner, had enlightened
him as to the final result on the human body of
potent chemicals fearlessly administered, leaving
him dark as to their distinctive qualities applied
remedially. What should he do? run with the
prescription to old Taylor in the next street, a
chemist of forty years? Alas! at his tender age,
he had not omitted to chaff that reverend rival
persistently and publicly. Humble his establishment
before the King-street one? Sooner
perish drugs, and come eternal cricket! And,
after all, why not? Drummer-boys, and powder-
monkeys, and other imps of his age that dealt
destruction, were paid; Mankind acknowledged
their services in cash: but old Jenner, taught
by Philosophy, through its organ the newspapers,
that " knowledge is riches," was above diluting
with a few shillings a week the wealth a boy
acquired behind his counter: so his apprentices
got no salary. Then why not shut up the old
rogue's shutters, and excite a little sympathy for
him, to be followed by a powerful reaction on
his return from walking; and go and offer his
own services on the cricket ground to field for
the gentlemen by the hour, or bowl at a shilling
on their bails? "Bowling is the lay for me,"
said he; "you get money for that, and you only
bruise the gents a bit and break their thumbs:
you can't put their vital sparks out as you can
at this work."

By a striking coincidence, the most influential
member of the cricket club passed while Dick
was in this quandary.

"Oh, Mr. Halfred, you was always very good
to me on the ground; you couldn't have me
hired by the club, could ye? for I am sick of
this trade; I wants to bowl."

"You little duffer!" said Alfred, "cricket is
a recreation, not a business. Besides, it only
lasts five months. Unless you adjourn to the
antipodes. Stick to the shop like a man, and make
your fortune."

"Oh, Mr. Halfred," said Dick, sorrowfully,
"how can I find fortune here? Jenner don't
pay. And the crowncr declares he will not have
it; and the Barton Chronicle says us young
gents ought all to be given a holiday to go and
see one of us hanged by lot; but this is what
have broke this camel's back at last; here's a
dalled thing to come smiling and smirking in
with, and put it across a counter in a poor boy's
hand. Oh! oh! oh!"

"Dick," said Alfred, "if you blubber, I'll give
you a hiding. You have stumbled on a passage
you can't construe. Well, who has not? but we
don't shed the briny about it. Here, let me have
a go at it."

"Ah, I've heard you are a scholard," said