should pretend not to know from what he saw,
that it was a Court-day at St. James's; and
I must own that, for my part, I inclined to the
opinion of that very low-minded individual.
There are no members of the tribe more
surrounded by satellites than these Rough and
simple Humbugs: nor is the "Humbug who
sustains Humbug in others," ever seen in greater
force than when attending on one of these Simple
or Rough Gentlemen, drawing him out, playing
into his hands, narrating his sayings and doings,
and asking if you ever heard of anything so
natural and delightful? It must be owned
that these unfortunate jackals to the Lion
Humbugs often get rather severely handled by their
chiefs. There is no one on whom the Rough
Humbug is more ready to display the quality he
affects, than on the poor sycophant who is for
ever at his heels. It is one of the Rough
Humbug's proudest boasts, of course, that he
always speaks his mind; and as it is necessary
to give evidence of the fact, and as the satellite
is quite safe to practise on, and is even most
inclined to admire when most bullied, home-truths
descend upon his devoted head in an avalanche.
But it serves him right, and there is no occasion
to pity him—or perhaps her, as the case may be.
And so, though we have got rid of many
affectations of former times, and of many forms
of cant and imposture, yet these villanies have
left their successors still flourishing among us.
The Mysterious and the Rough forms of Humbug
are just now rather flourishing, and promise to
continue so; and they are additionally
objectionable, because they are put on in assumption
of a quality which is as heavenly as it is rare,
namely, SIMPLICITY: an adornment which, like
genius, cannot be acquired, and which, when
real, is rarely lost, no, not among the worldliest
scenes and falsest company.
It is earnestly to be hoped that no one
will go away with the impression that this
Chronicle is written in an ill-natured spirit.
Humbug is a disease; it must be written about,
as diphtheria or neuralgia is written about. It
is a disease which, in its milder forms, is not
always inconsistent with mental health, and its
attacks are not beyond the reach of remedy.
The danger depends upon the degree of
development. We all know people who are
estimable and popular, but who are Mono-humbugs
—Humbugs on some particular point, and only
to a small extent. There are Harmless Humbugs
and Dangerous Humbugs, just as is the
case with lunatics. There are even Entertaining
Humbugs. The Rough, the Simple, the
Mysterious, and the Amiable, forms of Humbug
are harmless enough; the three first are often
amusing; as to the last, it is the most pardonable
form of Humbug known to psychologists.
This form of the disease generally attacks persons
who have an inordinate love of approbation:
which is in itself a defect to be regarded with
considerable leniency. Indeed, it may be said
that there are commonly, and the cases of utter
criminals excepted, but two great sources of
Humbug in our nature—Vanity, which leads
men to assume the Rough, Simple, Mysterious,
and other disagreeable forms of the disorder,
and—Love of approbation: which seduces
them into the more amiable developments of
it, such as the Humbugs of Cordiality, Politeness,
and perhaps Sensibility.
AN OLD FOE WITH A NEW NAME.
FIRST, catch your coryza. Coryza being the
subject of the present article, you are respectfully
requested to catch your coryza. The capture
is not difficult. There are various ways of
effecting it. Ouly take care to get a gentle and
mild one, and not to catch a tartar coryza;
for coryzas differ greatly in malignity, violence,
and obstinacy.
The habitats of coryzas are various; they
comprise such widely distant localities, that
coryzas may be said to be cosmopolite. From
China to Peru, from Greenland to Cape Horn,
they are to be met with. Nor is much seeking
necessary; you have only to throw yourself in
their way. And not only are they spread over
a wide area of the earth's surface; they lurk
deep under ground, as Siberian and other miners
will tell you, and mount to the greatest attainable
altitudes, as Messrs. Coxwell and Glaisher
will testify. As high as the balloon can soar,
so high soars the coryza.
Not that it shuns the haunts of men. Jackdaw-
like, it often loiters about cathedral churches
and other public buildings. It has even been
taken in the neighbourhood of ball-rooms. It
manifests a great attachment for certain classes
of private dwellings, especially for those in which
opposite doors and windows are frequently left
open. There are also coryzas with aquatic habits.
Many a water-party, out for the day, has brought
back quite a cargo with them—not less than one
coryza for each lady and gentleman, which is as
liberal an allowance as any one can require. So
aquatic, indeed, are their affinities, that they have
no need of actual water for their development,
but can attain their full growth on mist and
steam; and, like the Will-o'-the-Wisp, can find
ample nourishment in marshy exhalations. Nay,
several remarkable specimens have been seen
which have thriven on no more substantial fare
than a liberal allowance of London fog. There
are undoubted instances of coryzas having been
fished up by a single plunge into a pond or river,
by a few minutes' stay in the spray of a waterfall,
or in the showers which diversify the
sunshine of April.
As to seasons, all are more or less favourable.
Exactly as a skilful gardener will force his
flowers and fruits in spite of the weather, so a
determined coryza-catcher will have something
to boast of at any and every time of the year.
He most easily shows you what he can do, when
the most violent contrasts of temperature are
attainable: In May for instance and the
beginning of June, with a hot sun and a cold wind,
when you are baked in one street, and pelted
with frozen dust round the corner; or in nice
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