Here, again, is a rule worth knowing:

"If in the absence of a drawing-room you
are received in the bedroom when you pay a
visit, by no means allow yourself to place your
hat upon the bed; among the middle classes this
is looked upon as an absolute outrage to the
lady of the house.

"If a baroness (of recent date) should, under
such circumstances, take your hat from off the
bed and place it elsewhere, you may feel quite
sure that there has at some time been a porter's
wife in her family. You should not, however,
run the risk of being so dealt with, unless,
indeed, you want to investigate in this way the
lady's birth and breeding."

In the case of calls of ceremony, the visitor is
bound, it appears, to go into the room in a very
bare and empty condition:

"In a visit of state you must leave your
paletot, your cane, and your hat in the
anteroom; but in a common call you may simply
divest yourself of your paletot, and may carry
your hat and cane into the room with you. You
should keep both of these in your hand till
either the master or mistress of the house
entreats you to lay them aside.

"If they fail to do so in the course of the
first five minutes, it is a civil way of telling you
that you may go."

This hat and cane are enough to drive the
honest gentleman who is determined to guide
himself by the laws of "Ton" completely out of
his mind. We have not done with these
wretched instruments of torture yet, for,
supposing that the master or mistress of the
establishment does entreat you to resign them,

"You must carry them yourself into the
ante-room, unless a servant relieves you of
them; you must not put them down on any
article of furniture, while, if embarrassed to
know how to dispose of them, you place them
on the floor, your behaviour will be that of a
country bumpkin."

The hat and stick finally disposed of, you must
next mind what you are about in the matter of
taking a chair. Woe to him who drops easily
into the first seat that comes to hand!

"When you are requested to be seated, you
must not expect that a chair shall be handed to
you, you must yourself go and seek one and seat
yourself in the particular spot that your host
indicates with his hand. If no particular spot is so
indicated, place yourself between the entrance
door and the master of the house, and"—here
comes the usual caution—"and take care not to
stay too long."

It is impossible to deny that our Professor is
strongly impregnated with self-interest.

"When you receive," he says, "a visit from
a personage of rank, you must accompany him
at his exit to the staircase; if you want to obtain
some favour, go with him to the door of his
carriage. The same act of politeness is due to
ladies, even when you expect nothing from them,
and you should offer your arm as you descend
the stairs.

"If you receive a visit, even though it should
be from .your creditor, assume a very gracious
air, hasten to receive him at the door, entreat
him to be seated, bring forward with your own
hands a chair for him, and put it in the place of
honour, that is to say, at the side of the fire."

With this injunction as to the etiquette
between debtor and creditor, I must conclude
my quotations from this remarkable volume.
Enough insight into the etiquette of French
society has been given to cause the reader to think
twice before he ventures into it. The country
where a morning call is such a serious affair
as we have just seen it to be, must be an awful
country! For my part, when I had exhausted
Professor Bon Ton's advice, I became so
convinced that if I attempted to mingle in Parisian
circles I should make some tremendous mistake
—put my hat down upon some wrong piece of
furniture, commit some unpardonable offence
with my paletot, outrage society with my
umbrella, break down in the quantity or quality of
my boxes of bonbons, be guilty of some
unhallowed act with my napkin, forget whether I
had been cautioned not to drink my soup out of
the plate, or strongly recommended to do so—
I was so terrified, I say, at the number of
wrong turnings I might take, and the difficulty
of pursuing the straight and upright path, that
I determined to give the whole thing a wide
berth, and, transacting what business I had to
do, return to my native land, where people "wipe
their knives and fingers upon pieces of bread,"
and where bonbons and Bon Ton are alike
unknown.

                               NEW WORK
            BY SIR EDWARD BULWER LYTTON.
                               NEXT WEEK
     Will be continued (to be completed next March)
                       A STRANGE STORY,
                                BY THE
      AUTHOR OF "MY NOVEL," " RIENZI," &c. &c.

                   Now ready, in 3 vols. post 8vo,
                         FOURTH EDITION of
                      GREAT EXPECTATIONS
                      BY CHARLES DICKENS.
             CHAPMAN AND HALL, 193, PICCADILLY.

            Just published, price 5s. 6d., bound in cloth,
                            THE FIFTH VOLUME
                                          OF
                        ALL THE YEAR ROUND.
           Containing from Nos. 101 to 126, both inclusive.
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