worldly decision of character, but by his intellectual
acquirements, which need to be of no
common order in these days of examinations.
Here is another scene at a mess- table after
dinner:

" 1ST GRIFF (addressing his friend). No,
really pardon me, the species you mention is a
highly metamorphic hornblendic or sienitic
gneiss, the hollows of which are filled up by a
detritus proceeding from the simple disintegration
in situ of the more felspathic surface.

"OLD MAJOR (labouring under the impression
that objectionable language is going on on the
other side of the table). Order, there! Young
gentlemen, order!"

The griff is, of course, included under the general
description of the subaltern, and the subaltern,
when he ceases to be a griff, is always
supposed to be sowing the wildest possible oats,
and leading a life of such rapidity as to outstrip
most of the forms and many of the proprieties
of society. These characteristics furnish food for
endless illustration, but as the satire upon the
class usually comes from "one of themselves,"
it seldom passes the limits of becoming mirth.
In fact, the subaltern is a decided favourite
with Punch in India, and the source— in more
ways than one— of some of his most amusing
hits.

The class jealousies of the services, which are
apt to be very strongly exhibited in India, are
a favourite theme for the local satirist. These
are founded upon divisions and sub-divisions;
but the main difference is, of course, between
civil and military. The civil service is the better
paid of the two; it also monopolises most of the
highest appointments of the State. The civilians
are, therefore, the favoured section of the community.
They have the most potent influence
in public, and they take the lead in society, where
the black coat is always held in greater respect
than the red: especially by match-making
mammas, who are often heard to say that their
daughters shall never marry into the barracks.
The civilians are naturally proud of their superior
position, and are accused by severe censors
of "giving themselves airs" on account thereof.
Bitter are the sarcasms with which they are
assailed in consequence; and these, it must be
said in their favour, they bear with immense
fortitude. But there are two sides to the picture.
The civilians, though enjoying the lion's
share of the loaves and fishes of the State, are
not quite happy. They are unappreciated in
Europe, where people cannot be made to understand
the nature of the duties they have to perform.
The British public can comprehend the
office of a magistrate or a judge, but the office of
a collector puzzles them, and they usually imagine
that these administrators of the revenue
department go about with a portable pen and
ink, and leave slips of paper at people's houses,
with " Last Application" printed in red letters.
Nor are the duties even of the higher rank of
"commissioner" much more comprehensible;
except, indeed, by popular prejudice, which associates
the office with a great deal of " grinding
down" of the natives, and the exercise of
arbitrary power. And it happens unfortunately
for the civilians, that the legal posts are
exactly those for which they have always been
supposed least fit, and of which recent legislation
has deprived them altogether. The military,
on the other hand (I allude more especially to
the old " Company's army"), exercise a vocation
which cannot be mistaken. They are called captains,
colonels, and so forth, like the military
everywhere else. They have always done their
work well, when there has been any fighting to
do; some among them have made great names,
not only in the field, but in the political arena —
the latter being the only arena in which the
civilians have had a chance of gaining their fair
share of honour. The military having more
leisure for the cultivation of literature and art,
besides being the larger class, exercise a greater
influence over the local Punch than the members
of the sister service. Accordingly, we find scenes
like the following not unfrequent in the pictorial
department. The sketch represents two overdressed
young gentlemen, sucking their walking-canes:

"1ST HAILEYBURY MAN (who has carried off
fifteen gold medals and six silver). I say, fancy,
that demmed ensign has gone and plucked me
again!

"2ND DITTO. Dem him! He's plucked me,
too.

"1ST. But the best of it is, he says I can't
speak intelligibly!

" 2ND. Gad! Like his impudence.

"(Exeunt ye two Alumni in frantic haste to
Mr. Spence, hys refreshment-room.)"

Another favourite hit at this much-badgered
service is a ball-room scene. A mild-looking
young civilian reminds a young lady of her
engagement to him for a waltz, just as she is about
to surrender her waist to a cavalry officer of imposing
appearance. The young lady is a little
confused, but the cavalry officer takes possession
of her with great composure, carelessly assuring
the civilian that " there must have been some
mistake."

But there are wheels within wheels, as we
have hinted, and the rivalry between cavalry and
infantry gives great opportunity for satire. Here
is a scene at an infantry mess, at which are two
cavalry officers, belonging respectively to her
Majesty's Light Dragoons and the East India
Company's Light Cavalry:

" DRAGOON. I say, Frank — aw — aw — it's —
aw — dev — aw — lish gratifying to aw — remark
— aw — the superiority — aw — in polish and
ton — aw — of our service over — aw — the infantry.

" LIGHT CAVALRY MAN. Yes — and — and
there's a — ha — ah generally a — a — a — ha, there's
eh — heh — a — ha, greater degree of eh — a what's
— its — name — eh — intelligence you know — eh —
ah that's — intelligence you know —  ha — among
our men."

The infantry officers are represented as looking
on, highly amused at this modest opinion.
A little further on (in the book) they take their