red moustaches— I forgot to tell you that a pair of
red eyebrows, one of red eyelashes, and one of red
moustaches, flamed beneath the white periwig—
"I have said it; I must send my brother of
England the Grand Cross of my order of the Pig
and Whistle!"

"Indeed, a sagacious, generous, and truly
grand-ducal thought," murmured Mr. High
Chamberlain Rappfeugel, who was compelled to
come every evening to smoke a pipe and drink
strong waters for some hours in the Presence,
although the poor man drank nothing stronger
than barley-water at home, and the mere odour
of tobacco gave him hideous qualms.

Ludwig Adolf could swallow any amount
of flattery, yet he frowned at this compliment
from the chamberlain. "Grand-ducal, grand-
ducal," he grumbled between his teeth, " why
not kingly, warum nicht, oh Grand-Duke of
Donkeys?"

Dr. Ober-Hof-Prediger Bonassus, who sat on
the other side, and who really liked his pipe, was
a better courtier. In a discreet under tone he
characterised his sovereign's ideas as " truly
imperial." He would have been safe for a
bishopric, had there been any episcopate in
Schweinhundhausen.

Ludwig Adolf was appeased. " Yes," he
continued, "I shall send my master of the
ceremonies and introducer of ambassadors"—(no
diplomatists were ever accredited to the grand-
duchy, but that did not in the least matter)—
"Von Schaffundkalben, to London, with the
gift to my brother König George. But that
you, oh chamberlain, are an incorrigible ass
and dunderhead, I would confide the mission to
you."

Mr. High Chamberlain bowed. " Your
Mansuetude," he ventured to remark, "will
doubtless send the much-prized decoration in
gold."

"In gold!" thundered Ludwig the Terrible.
"Cow, idiot, blockhead. Thinkest thou I am
a pauper, a miser? I shall send it in brilliants.
The centre shall be composed of the great
Schweinsfleisch diamond. Let Abimelech Ben
Azi, the court Jew, be sent for, to present
himself here the first thing on the morrow morning,
or it will be the worse for him."

At the mention of the great Schweinsfleisch
diamond there was a buzz of amazement mingled
with terror among the courtiers. The poor grand-
duchess, deceased, had brought this celebrated
gem as part of her wedding portion. She had been
a princess of Kaltbraten Schweinsfleisch, hence
the name of the jewel, which was supposed to
be the largest diamond not alone in Germany,
but (as the Schweinhundhauseners fondly
believed) in all Europe. The surprise, therefore,
of the court when they heard that this priceless
heirloom was to be sent as a present to a foreign
sovereign, may be easily imagined. Their terror
may be accounted for when it is mentioned that
the great Schweinsfleisch diamond had ever been
held as a jewel of evil omen, bringing
misfortune upon all who were in any way concerned
with it.

Although Schweinhundhausen was a very small
town, it had, like most other Germanic capitals
at that epoch, its Jews' street, or Judengasse.
There dwelt the few Israelites, who contrived to
shuffle through existence without being skinned
alive by the exactions of Ludwig Adolf; and in
the smallest, dirtiest house of the whole
Judengasse lived certainly, next to the grand-duke,
the richest man in Schweinhundhausen, Abimelech
Ben Azi. He dealt in old clothes, watches,
money, china, tea and coffee, snuff-boxes,
anything you please; but he was also a most expert
and accomplished goldsmith and jeweller, and by
virtue of the last-named qualifications had been
promoted to the rank of Court Jew. Ludwig
Adolf was, on the whole, very gracious to Abimelech
Ben Azi, condescending to borrow a few
thousand florins from him at nominal interest
from time to time, not because he wanted the
money, but in order to let the Court Jew know
that he was, in his normal condition, a person to
be squeezed.

On the morrow morning, Abimelech, having
been duly summoned by a court page, made his
appearance, not without fear and trembling, at
the Residenz; for if there be one thing more
disagreeable than being called upon by an
absolute monarch, it is having to call upon him.
He was received by the high chamberlain, who,
as he was in the habit of borrowing his quarter's
salary in advance—and Ludwig Adolf always
kept his courtiers three-quarters in arrear, and
made it high treason to ask for cash—from the
Court Jew, was tolerably civil to him. In due
time he was ushered into the presence, and made
the numerous and lowly obeisances required by
Schweinhundhausen etiquette. A cold chill,
however, pervaded the spinal marrow of Abimelech
Ben Azi when he saw peeping from beneath
the dressing-gown of His Mansuetude (flame-
coloured taffety embroidered with crimson)
those direly renowned yellow stockings which,
whenever donned, were assumed to mean
mischief.

For a wonder, however, the terrible potentate
seemed unusually placable. Little Prince Carl
was playing at his feet, quite unmoved by the
sight of the flaming legs, and ever and anon
Ludwig Adolf would bestow a grin of affection
on his youngest born, which would have been
positively touching, had it not too closely resembled
the leer of a hyaena over some especially
toothsome morsel of a shin-bone of beef.

"Mr. Court Jew," said His Mansuetude,
"what is the course of exchange?"

Abimelech Ben Azi began to falter out
something about thalers, florins, and marks banco,
making up his mind that he had been bidden to
the Presence for the purpose of being squeezed,
when Ludwig Adolf stayed him with a gracious
movement of his hand. I say gracious, because
this prince seldom lifted his hand, save to throw
something, or to hit somebody.