that bilious and irritable Frenchman looking on
in disgust while his small salon was being dusted,
while the furniture was being dragged about by
Marie Gagneur's crinoline, while the curtains
wound themselves round her, and the tablecloth
followed her about the room like a train — has
something in it which touches on the sublime. And
the unanswerable retort: " My crinoline is not
larger than madame's." There is nothing left for
monsieur after that, but to retire, and vent his
fury in volleys of strange oaths, while Marie
descended to report progress to that tremendous
woman on the first floor, who had undertaken to
" form " all the servants in the district, and who
had drawn out that glorious code of laws which
we have given above. We shall hear of that
woman yet. How she would come out in
revolutionary times. With every faculty sharpened by a
long and victorious struggle against masters and
mistresses, what a code could that terrific female
produce for the children of a new republic.
There is a grasp of detail as well as a power of
scheming on a grand scale shown in this
"programme," as the lady witness ingeniously
calls it, which call forth in a marked degree
one's admiration and respect. It is gratifying,
at the same time, to reflect that this noble
creature resides in a somewhat distant capital,
and that such obstacles as the British Channel
and the British language are between her
and the already sufficiently enlightened
domestics of our native country. By-the-by —
the British language has just been spoken of as
an obstacle to the dissemination of the opinions
of that presiding genius of the first floor. Yet
here are her sentiments translated into English!
Is it wise to publish that seditious programme ?
Shall I confiscate these sheets? What if the
"Programme" should find favour in our own
seagirt isle? What if our cooks should absent them
selves for twenty-four hours once a fortnight,
haply on the occasion of one of our " little
dinners?" What if all our servants should
demand an increase of wage every three months?
Once more - shall I cast these sheets into the
blazing furnace beside me, and gloat over the
ashes of that Serpent Programme? No,
let me remember my duties. I am a Small-
Beer Chronicler, and all the Small-Beer, native or
foreign, that comes in my way, it is my duty
to register. I defy, then, that first-floor-back —
and Publish.

PERSIAN STORIES

The Persians have been renowned as story-
tellers throughout the East for many ages. It
is a great art, that, which can bring even fiction
to the aid of truth, and robing her in a
transparent dress, render us enamoured of her even
when coldest and sternest. Let us see how the
modern Persians, who have succeeded to this
grand inheritance, know how to enjoy it. Most
Persian stories have a merit — if it be a merit, as
our railway times suppose — of being short.
For my part, I should like to lie down in an arbour
and listen to wise and pleasant tales from
sunrise to sundown, now and again.

PERSIAN ARITHMETIC

One of the most remarkable peculiarities of
the Persians is their fondness for arithmetical
puzzles, and their expertness in the secrets of
figures. They are anything but good accountants.
There is, probably, not in all Persia an
individual whom Lombard-street would
consider fairly entitled to be called a man of
business. But I doubt whether the shrewdest
clerk in the Bank of England or the Audit
Office would be able to play such queer tricks
with figures as amuse the bazaars of Tehran
and Tabreez. They are but tricks, and I have
a strong suspicion that, in the true science of
numbers, the Audit Office clerk, or the clerk of
the Bank of England, would beat them all
hollow. If I were asked my private and
personal opinion, I should hesitate to declare that
a dozen men in Persia could be induced to
state, if taken unawares, that twice two are
four; but, with respect to pretty ingenious
little problems in figures, applied to no
practical purpose, they are as ingenious as the
philosophers and schoolmen who inquired of each
other how many thousands of angels could dance
upon the point of a needle.

Seventeen oxen were left by will to be divided
between three brothers. According to Mohammedan
law, the eldest should receive half the inheritance,
the second a third of it, and the youngest
a ninth. The division could not be made,
because their father's will stipulated that the oxen
were not to be cut up. In despair, the heirs
applied to Ali, the greatest of the successors of
Mohammed, according to the Sheeahs. Ali, as
became so wise a man, at once solved the
difficulty by adding an ox, when each of the
heirs got more than his share, and Ali received
his ox back again.

TWO HINTS FOR HUSBANDS.

1. A married man presented himself trembling
and sorrowful at the gates of paradise. He had
heard so often of his faults and short-comings
while upon earth, that he believed in them
devotedly, and had no hope of being admitted
to the habitations of the blessed. One wife, he
had been repeatedly informed, was a blessing
far beyond his merits while in the flesh; how,
then, could he hope for the smiles of seventy
houries But the prophet, when he presented
himself at the gates of heaven, to his great
surprise greeted him with a smile of ineffable
compassion. " Pass on, poor martyr," said Mahomet.
"You have been indeed a great sinner,
but you have suffered enough upon the earth, so
be of good cheer, for you will not meet your
wife here."

A man who had hitherto crept up to heaven,
now stood up confidently, and presented
himself to the prophet, upon the ground that he had
been twice married. " Nay," said the prophet,
angrily, "paradise is no place for fools."

2. A ruffling young fellow married the wealthy