when I am gone—and I placed it in a ream
of paper which would be opened shortly,
only giving me time for a sure escape. But
Willie had come back to seek me, and had
seen all and fled, for my sake and yours. If
the lad had been convicted I would have
saved him at the price of my own life; but
there was nothing against him, and there
would have been everything against me. When
we searched for a trace of the murderer I
hid the paper far back in the closet under
hundreds of other reams; thinking to secure it
when a safe time came. But you have been ever
watching me."
Down in the quiet street below there came
the patter of children's feet upon the pavement,
and the chatter of children's voices. The
dying man heard them, and tried to raise
himself.
"I have had children," he sighed, " but they
never laughed and clapped their hands for me.
Every morning I came from their cradles to look
upon your face, Rachel; and there was always a
curse in it. Now the sin of the father will be
visited upon them. You have shut me out from
prayer and penitence; you have been a living
doom against me. Yet I am dying at last in
your arms."
While he whispered, the words falling with
difficulty and pain from his faltering tongue, there
came to me once more a sense of ineffable peace
and love brooding over us. By some subtle and
finer influence the dying man shared it, and
opened his eyes again to meet mine looking down
upon him with that mysterious renewal of affection.
All the long known consolations, which
had been to us only as a very pleasant song, or as
good tidings for others from which we ourselves
were shut out, entered into our souls in the hour
of their extremest need. The pale evening star,
steady but very far away, pointed the beginning
of the immeasurable distance that was about
to separate us; and from my lips, lying close
to his dull ear, there fell, almost unconsciously
to myself, the words that had dwelt all
day in my heart, " Jesus, the Saviour of
men."
I descended into the Easter streets from the
fatal room, which had been the starting-point of
both the murdered man and his murderer, into
the boundless eternity. No one knew that I had
been there; and without distinct aim or design,
only hiding in my bosom the sullied and time-
worn paper, I wandered back to the poor
almshouse. There, with my face turned to the quiet
churchyard, which offered me no refuge, though
I longed for it greatly, I lay still and silent
through weeks of illness, with the treasured
paper in his handwriting lying under my pillow,
or held for safety in my feverish hands.
Afterwards I remember, though vaguely, voyaging
over miles of visionless waters, and finding Willie,
not a heart-broken exile, but happy in a new
home, and renouncing the land of his troubles
and mine. But I was restless there, and must
return; and returning found that the old empty
house, with its death-stained attic, had been
pulled down as an accursed dwelling, and not
one stone of it remained upon another. Yet for
me at every Eastertide it is erected again, and
the tragedy of my life is acted out once more.
Whatever else I forget, or whatever else my
mind refuses to receive, there abides with me
ever and ever the memory of my fell, remorseless
purpose, and of my cruel hatred, darker
in its sin than George Denning's unmeditated
crime.
Now ready, and to be had at all the Libraries,
HARD CASH,
In 3 vols., 31s. 6d.
London: SAMPSON Low, SON, and Co.
Now ready, Stitched in a Cover, price Fourpence,
MRS. LIRRIPER'S LODGINGS,
FORMING THE
EXTRA DOUBLE NUMBER FOR CHRISTMAS.
CONTENTS:
How Mrs. Lirriper carried on the Business.
How the First Floor went to Crowley Castle.
How the Side-Room was attended by a Doctor.
How the Second Floor kept a Dog.
How the Third Floor knew the Potteries.
How the Best Attic was under a Cloud.
How the Parlours added a Few Words.
Volume XI. will begin on the 15th of February, 1864, with a New Serial Story, entitled
QUITE ALONE,
BY GEORGE AUGUSTUS SALA.