the pet a permanent injury you would never
forgive yourself."

"Madam," says the Major, "next to my
regret that when I had my boot-sponge in my
hand, I didn't choke that scoundrel with it—on
the spot—"

"There! For Gracious sake," I interrupts,
"let his conscience find him without sponges."

"I say next to that regret, Madam," says
the Major " would be the regret with which my
breast," which he tapped, " would be surcharged
if this fine mind was not early cultivated. But
mark me Madam," says the Major holding up
his forefinger "cultivated on a principle that
will make it a delight."

"Major" I says " I will be candid with you
and tell you openly that if ever I find the dear
child fall off in his appetite I shall know it is
his calculations and shall put a stop to them at
two minutes' notice. Or if I find them mounting
to his head" I says, " or striking any ways
cold to his stomach or leading to anything
approaching flabbiness in his legs, the result will
be the same, but Major you are a clever man
and have seen much and you love the child and
are his own godfather, and if you feel a
confidence in trying try."

"Spoken Madam" says the Major "like
Emma Lirriper. All I have to ask Madam, is,
that you will leave my godson and myself
to make a week or two's preparations for
surprising you, and that you will give me leave to
have up and down any small articles not
actually in use that I may require from the
kitchen."

"From the kitchen Major?" I says half feeling
as if he had a mind to cook the child.

"From the kitchen" says the Major, and
smiles and swells, and at the same time looks
taller.

So I passed my word and the Major and the
dear boy were shut up together for half an hour
at a time through a certain while, and never
could I hear anything going on betwixt them
but talking and laughing and Jemmy clapping
his hands and screaming out numbers, so I says
to myself " it has not harmed him yet" nor
could I on examining the dear find any signs of
it anywhere about him which was likewise a
great relief. At last one day Jemmy brings me
a card in joke in the Major's neat writing " The
Messrs. Jemmy Jackman" for we had given him
the Major's other name too "request the honour
of Mrs. Lirriper's company at the Jackman
Institution in the front parlour this evening at five,
military time, to witness a few slight feats of
elementary arithmetic." And if you'll believe me
there in the front parlour at five punctual to the
moment was the Major behind the Pembroke
table with both leaves up and a lot of things
from the kitchen tidily set out on old
newspapers spread atop of it, and there was the
Mite stood up on a chair with his rosy cheeks
flushing and his eyes sparkling clusters of
diamonds.

"Now Gran" says he, " oo tit down and don't
oo touch ler poople"—for he saw with every
one of those diamonds of his that I was going
to give him a squeeze.

"Very well sir" I says " I am obedient in
this good company I am sure." And I sits
down in the easy-chair that was put for me,
shaking my sides.

But picture my admiration when the Major
going on almost as quick as if he was conjuring
sets out all the articles he names, and says,
"Three saucepans, an Italian iron, a hand-bell,
a toasting-fork, a nutmeg-grater, four pot-lids, a
spice-box, two egg-cups, and a chopping-board—
how many?" and when that Mite instantly cries
"Tifteen, tut down tive and carry ler 'toppin-
board" and then claps his hands draws up his
legs and dances on his chair!

My dear with the same astonishing ease and
correctness him and the Major added up the
tables chairs and sofy, the picters fender and fire-
irons their own selves me and the cat and the
eyes in Miss Wozenham's head, and whenever
the sum was done Young Roses and Diamonds
claps his hands and draws up his legs and
dances on his chair.

The pride of the Major! (" Here's a mind
Ma'am!" he says to me behind his hand.)

Then he says aloud, " We now come to the
next elementary rule: which is called—"

"Umtraction!" cries Jemmy.

"Right" says the Major. " We have here a
toasting-fork, a potato in its natural state, two
pot-lids, one egg-cup, a wooden spoon, and two
skewers, from which it is necessary for
commercial purposes to subtract a sprat-gridiron, a
small pickle-jar, two lemons, one pepper-castor,
a blackbeetle-trap, and a knob of the dresser-
drawer what remains?"

"Toatin-fork!" cries Jemmy.

"In numbers how many?" says the Major.

"One!" cries Jemmy.

(" Here's a boy, Ma'am?" says the Major to
me, behind his hand.)

Then the Major goes on:

"We now approach the next elementary rule:
which is entitled—"

"Tickleication" cries Jemmy.

"Correct" says the Major.

But my dear to relate to you in detail the way
in which they multiplied fourteen sticks of fire-
wood by two bits of ginger and a larding-needle,
or divided pretty well everything else there was
on the table by the heater of the Italian iron
and a chamber candlestick, and got a lemon over,
would make my head spin round and round and
round as it did at the time. So I says " if you'll
excuse my addressing the chair Professor Jackman
I think the period of the lecture has now
arrived when it becomes necessary that I should
take a good hug of this young scholar." Upon
which Jemmy calls out from his station on the
chair " Gran oo open oor arms and me'll make
a 'pring into 'em." So I opened my arms to him
as I had opened my sorrowful heart when his
poor young mother lay a dying, and he had his
jump and we had a good long hug together and
the Major prouder than any peacock says to
me behind his hand, "You" need not let him