the—as it were—the trustee of the people; a
portion of the income of everybody, directly or
indirectly, was entrusted to the government, to
be spent as it might think best. He heard people
complain of the taxes. (Mr. Jones, the wood-
engraver, who has a large family, sighed softly at
this juncture.) He thought—the second chair
left continued—that those who complained of the
taxes were much to blame. He—second chair
left—never complained. The government was
wise. It took a portion of his income and
applied it for his benefit. It supplied him—or the
parochial institution which it had organised,
supplied him—with pavement, with sewers, with
light. The policeman was there to protect him,
ready whenever he was wanted. (At this Mr.
Carpew allowed himself to indulge in a cough,
which was hardly characterised by mutuality.) A
town was provided for him to live in (Mr. Best
went on), which was a model of admirable
management to the earth; an army also was provided
for him, and also a navy. It was a government
whose management of home affairs was only
equalled by its wisdom and discreetness in the
conduct of its foreign policy. Yes, let us have
confidence in government—in a government that
was a paternal government, an unprejudiced
government, an economical government, a
government among whose members jobbery was
unknown, and self-interest a word without
meaning.

"Confusion!" said a voice at this particular
moment, causing everybody, and especially Mr.
Brogg, to start violently. This expression of
feeling came, I am sorry to say, from Mr. Sideways,
the profile drawer. He had made an enormous
blot in doing the eyelash of one of his profiles;
which always seemed to me, as far as one
could judge upside down, to be inordinately
gifted in this particular respect. Mr. Sideways
took not the slightest notice of his own unmutual
expression, nor of the surprised glances
which were directed towards him, but seemed
entirely occupied in trying to turn the blot into
a shadow. The incident was very unlucky, I
thought.

Our second chair (left) said no more on his
side of the question after this interruption, while
third chair right rose to reply, with a certain
briskness and alacrity that looked like strong
feeling. "Before proceeding with the business
of the evening," he said, "I think it only right to
make some slight allusion to a circumstance which
has just occurred. It is painful to think that a
young gentleman of great promise—I allude to
the honourable member who occupies a seat next
to my own—a gentleman who is, as it were,
through the Foreign-office, connected with that
very government whose proceedings we are
invited to criticise this evening—that such an one,
I say, should have been betrayed into the use of
an expression which we must all regret should
have—have—emanated from his lips." Here
Mr. Carpew paused, and looked at his young
friend through a double eye-glass, evidently
expecting him to express some regret for what had
happened. Nothing, however, appearing to be
further from his young friend's—thoughts the
fact being that he was in the very crisis of a
curling upper-lip—it became necessary for Mr.
Carpew to return to the original subject of the
evening, which he did, after heaving a deep sigh
on behalf of the profilist.

"I must own," he said, "that I have been
altogether surprised by the conduct of my learned
friend on the other side of the—of the—table, in
taking upon himself the task of defending a
government such as that under which we suffer.
And here I may mention, by the way, that I have
it from a private source on which entire dependence
may be placed, that it is entirely impossible
for those who at present represent that government
to hold together for another fortnight." It
was remarkable that Mr. Carpew always knew
through a private source what was going to
happen to government, and that the thing in
question never did happen. Curiously enough
this circumstance made no difference in the reception
accorded by our members to Mr. Carpew's
next prediction. "The government, then,"
proceeded our third chair (right), "cannot hold
together for another fortnight, but that circumstance
little affects the question before us, because we
know beforehand that when another party takes
the reins, public matters, and especially those of
a pecuniary sort, will be conducted on no better
principles than those which guide them at this
moment. The honourable gentleman who
represents the second chair (left) on the other side,
congratulates himself on the fact that his money
is taken from him and laid out to the best
advantage. The honourable member might have
spared himself those self-gratulations. How is
that money which he contributes so cheerfully
laid out? Is it laid out with an eye to the
honourable member's interest? Gentlemen, a
few days since, I was walking in one of our places
of public recreation, and observing that a
considerable number of workmen were all engaged
in some gardening operation in one spot, I drew
near the place to ascertain what they were doing.
Mr. Secretary and gentlemen, when I came
nearer I was able to detect at once what was
going on. I found myself before an enclosed
piece of turf measuring twenty-five paces one
way by nineteen the other, and within it were no
less than NINE MEN engaged in mowing the grass.
Of course it will readily be conceived that these
men were actually incommoded by their own
numbers, finding it very difficult to operate
in so small a space, and having to use every
sort of precaution, in order to avoid cutting
each other's feet off. Some of the men were
standing idle, simply because it was impossible
to get a bit of grass to cut at, and others, in
order that they might devote all their energies
to eluding the scythes of their more busy
companions."

This statement created much sensation, and I
observed that Mr. Brogg leaned forward at this