lay down the law, and pretend to teach us what
we are to do, to say, to think—'tis high time
to flatter oneself. She had the audacity to
remark upon the Hall—upon Pet."*

* See " Patty's Vocation," page 38 of the present
volume.

"I have heard you wish that the Hall was
whitewashed, and that Pet would sometimes
think of something else than her baby."

"Robert, if you are going to defend that
woman, I have done with you. When I am
angry too—all for you."

"For me! I am not in love with the
widow."

"The widow! Pray, pray, Robert, do not
adopt the vulgar habit of calling her ' the
widow.' I am sick of hearing such a sacred
name applied to her, when you know if the
tongs had a coat on, she would make eyes at it."

"I dare say, Patty, if you were my widow,
you would act very differently."

My goodness gracious! Robert's widow!
I know, of course, what would be the first thing
I should do: if I were Robert's widow, I should
go out of my mind. Of course, if I went out of
my mind, I should not be answerable for
anything I did—though I feel pretty sure, if I
was the maddest woman living, as a widow, I
should not act as Mrs. Arundel does.

"Don't cry, Patty, you shall never be my
widow, if I can help it."

"Of course not, Robert—but I really think
her name of Arundel is assumed. What right
has she to call herself by so grand a name?"

"My dear Patty, she must have a name!
You will not let me call her ' the widow,' and if
you forbid me calling her Mrs. Arundel, what
am I to do?"

"Oh! Robert, don't vex me, when I am so
unhappy—and so ought you to be—she will
marry your brother, in spite of everything, and
I shall have to love as a sister-in-law a woman
I despise and dislike."

"Fortunately the symptoms are all on her
side. I see none on his."

"That is very true, but how can you tell
what is going on in your brother's mind? Every
day he appears to me to get more and more in
the clouds."

"And so further away from Mrs. Arundel;
as, according to your opinion, she is hastening
as fast the other way."

"Extremes meet, in the end, Robert."

"True, Patty. I will keep my eye on Erasmus,
whenever the little wid—whenever Mrs.
Arun—what may I call her, Patty?"

But I ran away. I was not going to let
Robert tease me any more.

And such good reason too as I had to be
troubled about this—what shall I call her? I
hope I am above calling people names behind
their backs, so I will say person—I was troubled
about this "person."

Robert has a brother—being the eldest, of
course he has the estate—and lives six miles
from us. But though he has the estate, and
need do nothing but amuse himself just as he
likes all day, I pity him. If he had been
Robert, he would have had to work, and go
out into the world and look about him, and see
things in a sensible light, and do as other
people did.

But because he had nothing to do but enjoy
himself, he must needs enjoy himself after a
very odd fashion. Half his life he had buried
himself among mummies, a great deal of his
time was spent in his laboratory, the very name
of which might lead one to suppose he was
doing something in it, whereas a nasty smell,
smoke, and dirt, are the end of all his experiments.

Sometimes he spent whole nights in his telescope
tower, and would fly over to us, in joyful
spirits, to say he had seen Jupiter's moons, or
Saturn's rings.

What good were Jupiter's moons to us?
Why could not Jupiter be content with our
moon, instead of having private ones of his
own? And why was it necessary for Saturn to
have a ring, when he could not be married anyhow,
as I understood.

For my part, I am not clever, and I never
pretended to be clever. I won't deny that
sometimes I am obliged to use a dictionary,
especially when I want to write a word with
"ie" in it.

But to be as clever as Robert's brother Erasmus,
was being too clever a great deal. I would
rather have been myself, even if my spelling was
much worse than it happened to be. In fact,
I consider Robert much more clever than Erasmus,
though the latter is an LL.D. If Erasmus
has the right to put LL.D. after his name, I'm
sure Robert might use the letters D.D.S.,
"dearest darling Solomon."

However, it is no use my railing in this
fashion. I must behave myself, though I never
felt so ill-tempered in all my life, for I am very
fond of Erasmus, poor dear, though he never
has the least idea what he is about. So unlike
Robert.

Good gracious me! here am I worse than
ever. Pet has been frightening me out of my
wits; she says, smiling, too (most heartless of
you, Pet, I said), "Mrs. Arundel will be Mrs.
Doctor Erasmus before the month is out. I
met them walking together just now as cozy as
lovers."

I have forced myself to be very uncivil to
Erasmus.

"Erasmus," I said. (By the way, what a name
is Erasmus; one cannot halve it, or shorten it,
or lengthen it, or make anything of it but its
own mouthful. Robert is a good deal to say
when one is in a hurry, but I don't mind confessing
that, in private, I have called Robert
Bob and Bobby. Now, with Erasmus, there is
only "Rassy," which is enough to draw one's
teeth to say, or "Mussy," and really to
pronounce that word strongly, would not be altogether
civil to Erasmus, it is too suggestive.)
Well, to go on. "Erasmus," I said, "do you
think Jupiter has got any more moons ready for