business, observing that I had a very attentive
audience in the regiment of despondents. I
said that I had called on account of a person, in
whom I was much interested, who wished to
get a situation in a school. I was asked if he
had been "out" before, to which I answered No.
This was a drawback. I was informed that
there were many lucrative and desirable
appointments on the books, and a paper, headed
"College of Tutors," was handed to me to be
filled up by my friend. It contained a series of
questions as to Greek, Latin, mathematics, and
so forth; and whether "of any university."
Also a notification that five per cent would be
charged upon the year's income upon the
applicant obtaining a situation. I asked what
sort of schools they had on their books, and was
told "very high ones." Thereby emboldened,
and by this time having shaken down, I said
that I was thinking of taking something of the
sort myself; and, dropping my friend, began to
inquire upon my own account.

The situations exactly suited to myself
appeared to be very numerous, and I had a list of
gentlemen given to me, upon whom I was
directed to call. First stood the name of Dr.
Clackmannan, of South Aberdeen Collegiate
School, Surrey. "Evidently highly respectable,"
I said to myself. "I will make it my
business to call at once." I paid a shilling to
the principal of the College of Tutors, to defray
any expense that he might be at in writing to
me, and took leave.

By the time I arrived at "South Aberdeen
Collegiate School" it had become dark; but I
saw by the gas that I was before a large old
house of the reign of Queen Anne, built of red
brick, with a fore-court and high iron gate. On
either side was what appeared to be a carriage
entrance, composed of green doors like those
of a coach-house. Upon them were written, in
large white capitals, the imposing words:
"Collegiate School." I pulled a bell-handle; a
tremendous bell just inside rang close to my head,
and presently came out a prim servant in a
clean white apron.

She showed me into a dining-room. Before
the fire was drawn a sofa, upon which reclined,
smoking a pipe, a fat gentleman dressed in
black. By the side of the fire sat a little old
lady. Upon one side hung an enormous
portrait of a complacent youth in cap and gown.

The doctor was certainly very fat: and
was dressed in the old clerical style, with
tremendous collars and an expansive white
cravat. He didn't ask me to take a seat;
so I sat down, and told, in a few words,
upon what business I had called. The doctor
smiled, and bent his head. He informed
me that he had had applications from several
gentlemen; that the master was required to
teach Latin, Greek, French, English, &c., to
live in the house, and to share the work and
supervision with another gentleman, the
recompense for the same being thirty-five pounds a
year. I asked what the holidays were, and was
informed that the vacation amounted to about
twelve weeks in the course of the year. I said
that I had been in her Majesty's service, but
had left it to go to the Bar when I had taken
a degree at Oxford; for which university it
was my object to read up. He inquired, "What
regiment?" I replied, "No regiment, but the
Royal Navy," and that I had been in the Russian
and Chinese wars. He said, "Oh, indeed!"
smiled, and said I should hear from him.

The next name on my list was that of Mr.
Hypotheneuse, of Apennine-grove. To reach
this academic shade, I took, next morning, a
long caravan passage in an omnibus, yesterday's
headache still clinging to me; and, after much
subsequent wandering, I found myself in a
drawing-room "replete with every elegance,"
and which it was painfully apparent was never
used except for the reception of parents and
guardians. Entered to me Mr. Hypotheneuse.
We looked each other over as I returned his bow.

This gentleman was an unassuming great
man. The effect of his remarks was that he
was a high and mighty person; but humble
minded. He wished his masters to look upon
him as a senior friend. It was his desire that
they retired to bed at ten o'clock; and, although
he did not order them to leave off smoking, he
nevertheless forbade it on or near his premises.
Like Dr. Clackmannan, he took my address, and
said I should hear from him.

I shortly afterwards got a letter to say that
he had made up his mind to employ a "native"
to teach foreign languages. I concluded that he
meant an oyster, as a human being can but teach
one native language; that is to say, his own.

Upon the same day I received a note from
another great man who diffused knowledge at
Brighton. It ran as follows:

SIR,—You can, if you like, see me punctually at
eleven on Wednesday, at my tailor's, Mr. So-and-so,
Leadenhall-street, with regard to applying to
obtain the vacant situation in my establishment.

I also received a notice from the Professor of
the College of Tutors to attend at that institution
upon a given day to see Mr. Shrimp, of
Margate. I did so, and had to wait until another
suppliant had been examined. This individual
came forth depressed and crestfallen.

Mr. Shrimp seemed diffident as to whether
his situation was suited to me, informing me
that he gave but twenty pounds a year. The
duty, he said, was to teach English, arithmetic,
and Latin grammar, and never to lose sight of
the young gentlemen (who were all respectable).
I asked him how the country was looking, and
withdrew.

On reaching home, I received a note from
Dr. Clackmannan, saying that he had accepted
the offer of my services. I thereupon bethought
me of taking a cruise to South Aberdeen to find
out something more about my preferment.

When I was shown in to the doctor, he was
mounting some drawings in his dining-room, and
smoking a cigar. He did not rise, but said,
"Ah, so you've come down." I replied that
I had done myself the pleasure of calling on