one in spectacles, not the one with the large
lavender bonnet. At that signal I was to
rush forth, seize my Bride, and fight my way
to the lane. There, a junction would be effected
between myself and the Colonel, and putting
our Brides behind us, between ourselves and
the palings, we were to conquer or die.

The enemy appeared—approached. Waving
his black flag, the Colonel attacked. Confusion
ensued. Anxiously I awaited my signal, but
my signal came not. So far from falling, the
hated Drowvey in spectacles appeared to me to
have muffled the Colonel's head in his outlawed
banner, and to be pitching into him with a
parasol. The one in the lavender bonnet also
performed prodigies of valour with her fists on
his back. Seeing that all was for the moment
lost, I fought my desperate way hand to hand
to the lane. Through taking the back road, I
was so fortunate as to meet nobody, and arrived
there uninterrupted.

It seemed an age 'ere the Colonel joined me.
He had been to the jobbing-tailor's to be sewn
up in several places, and attributed our defeat
to the refusal of the detested Drowvey to fall.
Finding her so obstinate he had said to her in a
loud voice, "Die recreant!" but had found her no
more open to reason on that point than the other.

My blooming Bride appeared accompanied
by the Colonel's Bride, at the Dancing School
next day. What? Was her face averted from
me? Hah! Even so. With a look of scorn
she put into my hand a bit of paper, and took
another partner. On the paper was pencilled,
"Heavens! Can I write the word! Is my
husband a Cow?"

In the first bewilderment of my heated brain
I tried to think what slanderer could have traced
my family to the ignoble animal mentioned
above. Vain were my endeavours. At the end
of that dance I whispered the Colonel to come
into the cloak-room, and I showed him the note.

"There is a syllable wanting," said he, with a
gloomy brow.

"Hah! What syllable?" was my inquiry.

"She asks, Can she write the word? And
no; you see she couldn't," said the Colonel,
pointing out the passage.

"And the word was?" said I.

"Cow—cow—coward," hissed the Pirate-
Colonel in my ear, and gave me back the note.

Feeling that I must for ever tread the earth a
branded boy—person I mean—or that I must
clear up my honour, I demanded to be tried by
a Court-Martial. The Colonel admitted my
right to be tried. Some difficulty was found in
composing the court, on account of the
Emperor of France's aunt refusing to let him come
out. He was to be the President. 'Ere yet we had
appointed a substitute, he made his escape over
the back wall, and stood among us, a free
monarch.

The court was held on the grass by the pond.
I recognised in a certain Admiral among my
judges my deadliest foe. A cocoa-nut had
given rise to language that I could not brook.
But confiding in my innocence, and also in the
knowledge that the President of the United
States (who sat next him) owed me a knife, I
braced myself for the ordeal.

It was a solemn spectacle, that court. Two
executioners with pinafores reversed, led me in.
Under the shade of an umbrella, I perceived
my Bride, supported by the Bride of the Pirate-
Colonel. The President (having reproved a
little female ensign for tittering, on a matter of
Life and Death) called upon me to plead,
"Coward or no Coward, Guilty or not Guilty?"
I pleaded in a firm tone, "No Coward and Not
Guilty." (The little female ensign being again
reproved by the President for misconduct,
mutinied, left the court, and threw stones.)

My implacable enemy, the Admiral,
conducted the case against me. The Colonel's
Bride was called to prove that I had remained
behind the corner-lamp-post during the engagement.
I might have been spared the anguish
of my own Bride's being also made a witness to
the same point, but the Admiral knew where to
wound me. Be still my soul, no matter.
The Colonel was then brought forward with his
evidence.

It was for this point that I had saved myself
up, as the turning-point of my case. Shaking
myself free of my guards—who had no business
to hold me, the stupids! unless I was found
Guilty—I asked the Colonel what he considered
the first duty of a soldier? 'Ere he could
reply, the President of the United States rose
and informed the court that my foe the Admiral
had suggested "Bravery," and that prompting
a witness wasn't fair. The President of the
Court immediately ordered the Admiral's mouth
to be filled with leaves, and tied up with string. I
had the satisfaction of seeing the sentence carried
into effect, before the proceedings went further.
I then took a paper from my trousers-pocket,
and asked: "What do you consider, Colonel
Redforth, the first duty of a soldier? Is it
obedience?"

'It is," said the Colonel.

'Is that paper—please to look at it—in your
hand?"

'It is," said the Colonel.

'Is it a military sketch?"

'It is," said the Colonel.

'Of an engagement?"

'Quite so," said the Colonel.

'Of the late engagement?"

'Of the late engagement."

'Please to describe it, and then hand it to the
President of the Court."

From that triumphant moment my sufferings
and my dangers were at an end. The court
rose up and jumped, on discovering that I had
strictly obeyed orders. My foe, the Admiral,
who though muzzled was malignant yet,
contrived to suggest that I was dishonoured by
having quitted the field. But the Colonel
himself had done as much, and gave his opinion,
upon his word and honour as a Pirate, that when
all was lost the field might be quitted without
disgrace. I was going to be found "No
Coward and Not Guilty," and my blooming
Bride was going to be publicly restored to my
arms in a procession, when an unlooked-for