Lemon, "and we have slapped. But only in
extreme cases."

"Could I, ma'am," said Mrs. Orange, "could
I see the establishment?"

"With the greatest of pleasure, ma'am," said
Mrs. Lemon.

Mrs. Lemon, took Mrs. Orange into the
school-room, where there were a number of
pupils. "Stand up, children!" said Mrs. Lemon,
and they all stood up.

Mrs. Orange whispered to Mrs. Lemon,
"There is a pale bald child with red whiskers,
in disgrace. Might I ask what he has done?"

"Come here, White," said Mrs. Lemon, "and
tell this lady what you have been doing."

"Betting on horses," said White, sulkily.

"Are you sorry for it, you naughty child?"
said Mrs. Lemon.

"No," said White. "Sorry to lose, but
shouldn't be sorry to win."

"There's a vicious boy for you, ma'am," said
Mrs. Lemon. "Go along with you, sir. This is
Brown, Mrs. Orange. Oh, a sad case, Brown's!
Never knows when he has had enough. Greedy.
How is your gout, sir?"

"Bad," said Brown.

"What else can you expect?" said Mrs.
Lemon. "Your stomach is the size of two.
Go and take exercise directly. Mrs. Black,
come here to me. Now here is a child, Mrs.
Orange, ma'am, who is always at play. She
can't be kept at home a single day together;
always gadding about and spoiling her clothes.
Play, play, play, play, from morning to night,
and to morning again. How can she expect to
improve!"

"Don't expect to improve," sulked Mrs.
Black. "Don't want to."

"There is a specimen of her temper, ma'am,"
said Mrs. Lemon. "To see her when she is
tearing about, neglecting everything else, you
would suppose her to be at least good-humoured.
But bless you, ma'am, she is as pert and as
flouncing a minx, as ever you met with in all
your days!"

"You must have a great deal of trouble with
them, ma'am," said Mrs. Orange.

"Ah! I have indeed, ma'am," said Mrs.
Lemon. "What with their tempers, what
with their quarrels, what with their never knowing
what's good for them, and what with their
always wanting to domineer, deliver me from
these unreasonable children!"

"Well, I wish you good morning, ma'am,"
said Mrs. Orange.

"Well, I wish you good morning, ma'am,"
said Mrs. Lemon.

So Mrs. Orange took up her baby and went
home, and told the family that plagued her so
that they were all going to be sent to school.
They said they didn't want to go to school, but
she packed up their boxes and packed them off.

"Oh dear me, dear me! Rest and be thankful!"
said Mrs. Orange, throwing herself back
in her little arm-chair. "Those troublesome
troubles are got rid of, please the Pigs!"

Just then another lady named Mrs. Alicumpaine
came calling at the street-door with a
Ring-ting-ting.

"My dear Mrs. Alicumpaine," said Mrs.
Orange, "how do you do? Pray stay to
dinner. We have but a simple joint of sweet
stuff, followed by a plain dish of bread and treacle,
but if you will take us as you find us it will
be so kind!"

"Don't mention it," said Mrs. Alicumpaine.
"I shall be too glad. But what do you think
I have come for, ma'am? Guess, ma'am."

"I really cannot guess, ma'am," said Mrs.
Orange.

"Why, I am going to have a small juvenile
party to-night," said Mrs. Alicumpaine, "and if
you and Mr. Orange and baby would but join
us, we should be complete."

"More than charmed, I am sure!" said Mrs.
Orange.

"So kind of you!" said Mrs. Alicumpaine.
"But I hope the children won't bore you?"

"Dear things! Not at all," said Mrs. Orange.
"I dote upon them."

Mr. Orange here came home from the city,
and he came too with a Ring-ting-ting.

"James, love," said Mrs. Orange, "you
look tired. What has been doing in the city
to-day?"

"Trap bat and ball, my dear," said Mr.
Orange, "and it knocks a man up."

"That dreadfully anxious city, ma'am," said
Mrs. Orange to Mrs. Alicumpaine; "so wearing,
is it not?"

"Oh, so trying!" said Mrs. Alicumpaine.
"John has lately been speculating in the peg-top
ring, and I often say to him at night, 'John, is
the result worth the wear and tear?'"

Dinner was ready by this time, so they sat
down to dinner; and while Mr. Orange carved
the joint of sweet-stuff, he said, "It's a poor
heart that never rejoices. Jane, go down to
the cellar and fetch a bottle of the Upest
Ginger-beer."

At tea-time Mr. and Mrs. Orange, and baby,
and Mrs. Alicumpaine, went off to Mrs. Alicumpaine's
house. The children had not come yet,
but the ball-room was ready for them, decorated
with paper flowers.

"How very sweet!" said Mrs. Orange. "The
dear things! How pleased they will be!"

"I don't care for children myself," said Mr.
Orange, gaping.

"Not for girls?" said Mrs. Alicumpaine.
"Come! You care for girls?"

Mr. Orange shook his head and gaped again.
"Frivolous and vain, ma'am."

"My dear James," cried Mrs. Orange, who
had been peeping about, "do look here. Here's
the supper for the darlings, ready laid in the
room behind the folding-doors. Here's their
little pickled salmon, I do declare! And here's
their little salad, and their little roast beef and
fowls, and their little pastry, and their wee,
wee, wee, champagne!"

"Yes, I thought it best, ma'am," said Mrs.
Alicumpaine, "that they should have their supper
by themselves. Our table is in the corner