those new-fangled hats, like a captain's biscuit
with strings, I could only a seen the cushions
at the back through a chance chink in the
straw. As it was, I saw three buttons and puffs
complete."

"Nonsense," I said. I was delighted when
a question suggested itself which I thought
would prove a poser to the man. " But," said
I, " if ghosts are made of such slight material,
how can you account for your friend's
supporting the weight of the bonnet with 'yaller'
ribbons, the velvet jacket with the gimp
trimmings, and the rest of it?"

"Very clever for you, youngster. That
was what had precisely puzzled me about
ghosts for a long time, as it has puzzled most
incred'lous writers on the subject, old and new.
Ghosts of clothes, they says, air ridiculous, and
so I thought; though, being natural of a
religious temperament, I didn't say so, and if
the clothes ain't ghostly, they can't be real,
'cause the immaterial couldn't support a paper
bonnet, let alone crinoline. Such was the state
of my feelin's on the subject, when this lady
figger started 'em from their dormant apathy.
' Here's a chance of settling the question,'
says I to myself, 'as may never occur again.
Here's a faymale ghost, as I knows a ghost,
'cause I've seen the buttons of the carriage
through her bump o' philoprogenitiveness, and
she's wearin' clothes, as I know all real and
material clothes, because I've paid to the tune of
five hundred dollars for 'em; and this here
immaterial ghost is wearin' these material clothes,
as well as if she was made of Bessemer steel.
Here's an opportunity,' said I, ' of asking a
question—- '"

"Now then, my friend," said I, " I am
impatient to hear the answer." For there was a
want of alacrity in his tone, and a falling off in
his spirit, and he had taken his cigar from his
mouth and was studying the ceiling: all of
which, I thought, betokened that either his
invention or his memory was failing him.

"Wal," he replied, " there is one lesson I
never have forgot, 'cause I had to write it
seventy-seven times in one mornin', at the age of
six: it was Patience is a Virteu, and the sooner
you lay it to heart, the better for your wife, if
you ever have one: which, looking consumptive,
you won't, perhaps, so it don't matter much."

I again took no notice of his gross want of
delicacy.

"Wal, you're beginning to learn, I see,"
he went on, " so I'll humour you. ' Feminine
sperit,' said I, ' would you oblige me and the
live world in general by informin' me how it is
you appear in clothes?' 'It's like your impudence
to ask the question,' she replied, turnin'
green which is ghost for blushin'; ' you
wouldn't dare put the question to a live lady.
But all of you on that side the dust seem to
think a sperit hasn't got any feelin's whatever.
I've heerd questions asked, when I've been
forced to lay up a-while in a table, as made me
ashamed of ever havin' lived.'  ' I'm sure I beg
your pardon,' said I, feelin' very small lager
indeed, ' but I meant no harm. P'raps I should
a said, how do you manage to bear the weight
of 'em?' 'Why, do you think we haven't any
strength,' she said; ' then how do you imagine
we turn tables?' ' Trew,' I answered, feeling
I had met my match for the first time in my
life, ' but that didn't occur to me.' ' Shake
hands, if you doubt me,' said she, holding out as
pretty a little gloved hand as it ever was my
fortune to see. Now it's rather a ticklish crisis
in a man's existence when a ghost asks him to
shake hands, but I wasn't going to be afraid of
a human soap-bubble, especially being faymale.
So I shook hands with her, and got such a grip
as I never had, except from Heenan. ' Now,' she
said, a-holding out the pretty hand again, ' give
a poke at that with your finger.' I giv' a poke,
and the glove tumbled all of a heap on the floor,
as if I'd knocked it off a peg; and there were
five as pretty little bare white semi-transparent
fingers as were ever manufactured out of opal
glass. Wal, I was skeered a little at that,
though I might a known how it would be if I'd
a reckoned; and I said, handing her the glove,
which she put on all at once without unbutton-
in', ' Excuse my asking an impertinent
question, but where on airth do you inflated nothings
get your strength from?' ' Will!' she answered,
with another smile, ' will and sperit!'
' Oh, indeed,' said I. ' And what might you
mean by sperit?' ' Sperit,' she replied, ' is a
kinder gas, which blows us out to shape, like
balloons.' ' Oh, indeed,' says I. ' You're blown
out like balloons, air you?' ' Yes,' she says,
' we air; and if you don't break our film, which
you can't when we don't wish, we are as strong
as you felt just now.' ' Oh, indeed,' said I, not
understanding quite puspicuous, ' and when I
knocked that glove off just now, did I break the
film? ' I rayther guess you did,' she said;
' it's only just healed up.' ' Then, madam,' said
I, thinkin' I'd caught her tripping, for these
ghosts most of 'em lie like everlastin', 'if
you're blown out like a balloon, how is it you
didn't collapse right away? It wasn't will,
was it?' ' No,' she answered, quite ready.
' I'd given that up; it's the nature of the
sperit not to.' ' How so?' said I, thinking
it rather a faymale reason. ' Why,' she said,
' sperit and air is like ile and water, and
won't mix; you can stir 'em as hard as you
like, but they won't mix.' 'Oh, indeed!'
said I again, puzzlin' my head for another
question. For mind you, youngster, whenever you
meet with a ghost, ask 'em questions, and never
leave off. They're compelled to answer them
out of politeness, and I will say ghosts are
pretty mannered as a rule. But once let 'em
out of harness, and they always run to their
own stones, like a horse to his stable, and there's
no stopping 'em; and of all bores, I guess a
ghost's life tops 'em, they're all so long and
dreffal melancholy. But she was politeness
itself, was this young sperit. Seeing me
a-puzzling what to say next, she asked me with
unusual delicacy whether I had any more
questions to ask her, and just at that moment one