don't wonder that yon failed to hear it. But I
heard it,"
"And did the spectre seem to be there, when
you looked out?''
"It WAS there."
"Both times?"
He repeated firmly: "Both times."
"Will you come to the door with me, and
look for it now?"
He bit his under-lip as though he were somewhat
unwilling, but arose. I opened the door,
and stood on the step, while he stood in the
doorway. There, was the Danger-light. There,
the dismal mouth of the tunnel. There,
were the high wet stone walls of the cutting.
There, were the stars above them.
"Do you see it?" I asked him, taking particular
note of his face. His eyes were prominent
and strained; but not very much more so,
perhaps, than my own had been when I had
directed them earnestly towards the same spot.
"No," he answered. " It is not there."
"Agreed," said I.
We went in again, shut the door, and resumed
our seats. I was thinking how best to
improve this advantage, if it might be called
one, when he took up the conversation in such
a matter of course way, so assuming that there
could be no serious question of fact between us,
that I felt myself placed in the weakest of positions.
"By this time you will fully understand, sir,"
he said, " that what troubles me so dreadfully,
is the question, What does the spectre
mean?"
I was not sure, I told him, that I did fully
understand.
"What is its warning against?" he said, ruminating,
with his eyes on the fire, and only by
times turning them on me. " What is the
danger? Where is the danger? There is danger
overhanging, somewhere on the Line. Some
dreadful calamity will happen. It is not to be
doubted this third time, after what has gone
before. But surely this is a cruel haunting of
me. What can I do!"
He pulled out his handkerchief, and wiped the
drops from his heated forehead.
"If I telegraph Danger, on either side of me, or
on both, I can give no reason for it," he went on,
wiping the palms of his hands. " I should get
into trouble, and do no good. They would think
I was mad. This is the way it would work:——
Message: ' Danger! Take care!' Answer:
'What Danger? Where?' Message: 'Don't
know. But for God's sake take care!' They
would displace me. What else could they do?"
His pain of mind was most pitiable to see.
It was the mental torture of a conscientious
man, oppressed beyond endurance by an
unintelligble responsibility involving life.
"When it first stood under the Danger-light,"
he went on, putting his dark hair back from his
head, and drawing his hands outward across and
across his temples in an extremity of feverish
distress, " why not tell me where that accident
was to happen—- if it must happen? Why not
tell me how it could be averted if—- it could have
been averted? When on its second coming
hid its face, why not tell me instead: ' She is
going to die. Let them keep her at home'?
If it came, on those two occasions, only to show
me that its warnings were true, and so to prepare
me for the third, why not warn me plainly
now? And I, Lord help me! A mere poor
signalman on this solitary station! Why not
go to somebody with credit to be believed, and
power to act!"
When I saw him in this state, I saw that, for
the poor man's sake, as well as for the public
safety, what I had to do for the time was, to
compose his mind. Therefore, setting aside all
question of reality or unreality between us, I
represented to him that whoever thoroughly
discharged his duty, must do well, and that at
least it was his comfort that he understood his
duty, though he did not understand these
confounding Appearances. In this effort I succeeded
far better than in the attempt to reason him out
of his conviction. He became calm; the occupations
incidental to his post as the night advanced,
began to make larger demands on his
attention; and I left him at two in the morning.
I had offered to stay through the night, but he
would not hear of it.
That I more than once looked back at the
red light as I ascended the pathway, that I
did not like the red light, and that I should have
slept but poorly if my bed had been under it, I
see no reason to conceal. Nor, did I like the two
sequences of the accident and the dead girl.
I see no reason to conceal that, either.
But, what ran most in my thoughts was the
consideration how ought I to act, having become
the recipient of this disclosure? I had
proved the man to be intelligent, vigilant, painstaking,
and exact; but how long might he remain
so, in his state of mind? Though in a
subordinate position, still he held a most important
trust, and would I (for instance) like to stake
my own life on the chances of his continuing to
execute it with precision?
Unable to overcome a feeling that there would
be something treacherous in my communicating
what he had told me, to his superiors in the
Company, without first being plain with himself
and proposing a middle course to him, I ultimately
resolved to offer to accompany him (otherwise
keeping his secret for the present) to the wisest
medical practitioner we could hear of in those
parts, and to take his opinion. A change in his
time of duty would come round next night, he
had apprised me, and he would be off an hour
or two after sunrise, and on again soon after
sunset. I had appointed to return accordingly.
Next evening was a lovely evening, and I
walked out early to enjoy it. The sun was not
yet quite down when I traversed the field-path
near the top of the deep cutting. I would extend
my walk for an hour, I said to myself, half an
hour on and half an hour back, and it would
then be time to go to my signalman's box.
Before pursuing my stroll, I stepped to the
brink, and mechanically looked down, from the
point from which I had first seen him. I cannot
describe the thrill that seized upon me,
Dickens Journals Online