injustice to the salutary lessons of confinement
and contemplation. I returned the stamps of
eight hundred of the applicants, with thirteen
more enclosed in each envelope, and the same
reference to Genesis: taking care to reply to
only half the letters from each town. Then I
inserted my last advertisement.

THE GOOD THING. — The advertiser
requests the indulgence of his correspondents;
they are so numerous, it is utterly impossible to
reply to all by return. He assures them, however, that
each client shall receive due attention in rotation.

In a fortnight I was inundated with letters.
They came from all parts of the kingdom. Many
of them were stamped with coronets, crests, and
monograms, that surprised me, though I had
made some proficiency in the study of such
devices on spoons, in bygone years. My friend
the porter brought the letters to my lodgings
every morning and evening, on a pair of hand-
trucks, until in all I had received twelve thousand
four hundred and seventy-one. Then Messrs.
Danton and Birch had their attention directed
to the fact of their house being used as my
address. They surprised their porter in the
act of "running" a cargo of my letters; him
they discharged; the letters they confiscated.
It grieves me to reflect on the melancholy
fate of the porter, likewise on the number of
postage stamps diverted from their proper
channel. It is fair to say, though, that I
believe Messrs. Danton and Birch religiously
returned every postage stamp that fell into their
hands. This is highly satisfactory to a mind,
&c. Even I could have done no more.

You will very likely think that I now stopped
the correspondence? Not quite correct, even
now. Honesty is ever the best policy. First, I
took the precaution of removing my letters, my
valuable stamps, and my valuable self, into the
country. Then, from my rural retreat, I
proceeded to impart to my twelve thousand four
hundred and seventy-one constituents, the
grand arcanum and mystery of "The Good
Thing." Although at a tremendous sacrifice of
stamps, I held myself pledged to reply to each
correspondent, as an honourable and a
professional man.

That my privacy might not be disturbed by
disagreeable inquiries, I took the precaution to
forward my letters twice a week to London in
a bale, to my dear friend the pawnbroker, for
the sake of the London post-mark. He posted
them for me at the "General."

It took exactly a month to complete my
extensive correspondence. No postage stamps
were returned this time; but each letter
contained the following piece of advice, neatly
inscribed on the best baronial cream-laid note
(and in my opinion it is a precept more priceful
than postage stamps, and should be written in
letters of gold):

To inquirers for the Good Thing: See Luke x. 37.
                         Go and do likewise.

With a view to attract into the paths of
honesty and virtue those of my misguided
brethren still pursuing the highly reprehensible
occupation of vulgar robbery, I subjoin my
balance-sheet, which cannot fail to prove an
incentive to the practice of honest labour for daily
bread. In proof of its having taught me the
beauties of rectitude, I wish to call attention
to one item it contains. I refer to income-
tax. My retiring and gentle nature could not
brook a "return," to undergo the scrutiny of a
curious surveyor; but a recent number of the
Times contains the following notification: "The
Chancellor of the Exchequer begs to acknowledge
the receipt of the second half of a Bank
of England note for ten pounds, on account of
income-tax, from M., Esq." Need I add that
M. stands for Me?

I wish to add a general moral.

To steal in the lump from any one person is
disreputable and foolish, besides rendering you
amenable to the law; but so to conduct your
negotiations as to distribute a given loss (your
profit) among the largest possible body of
constituents, is the true theory of commercial
prosperity.

                         THE BALANCE SHEET.

                                       Dr.

To cash received:                                         £  s.  d.
   Commission from pawnbroker  .    .    .      1 10   0
   Capital negotiated   .    .     .    .    .    .     15   0   0
   Postage stamps received from 12,471
      clients .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .  675 10   3
                                                                ?????????? ????
                                                               £692   0   3

                                      Cr.

By cash paid:                                               £  s.  d.
  Paid advertisements for loan .    .    .         0 12   0
  Paid advertisements, 1st series of
    The Good Thing   .    .    .    .    .    .         1 17   6
  Paid stamps returned, 227 clients   .       12   5 11
  Postage of ditto .    .    .    .    .    .    .         0 18 11
  Paid advertisements, 2nd series of
     The Good Thing   .     .     .     .     .         1 17   6
  Paid stamps returned, 800 clients   .       43   6   8
  Postage of ditto  .    .     .     .     .     .         3   6   8
  Paid last advertisement  .    .     .     .         0 16   6
  Paid postage, 12,471 letters .    .    .       51 19   3
  Stationery     .    .     .     .     .     .     .      11    5   0
  Paid income-tax  .     .     .     .    .     .      10    0   0
                                                                ????? ????????
                                                               138    5 11
  Balance in hand, being nett profit    .    553  14   4
                                                               ???????? ??????
                                                              Â£692   0   3

OLD HARVEST-HOMES.

IT is the fashion of the day to organise and
regulate every popular meeting, whether secular
and social or religious, with military precision.
No church or school can be inaugurated without
a programme of processions, banner-bearings,
music, speech-making, and marching, &c.,
nor can two or three score village children eat
bread-and-butter in company save to the sound
of Rule Britannia and See the Conquering
Hero comes. No one, however, who has had
much to do with villagers, especially with
young villagers, can doubt the advantages of
discipline; and if system be sometimes misplaced