"And when the congregation came into
church, they all took their seats, and those that
had books pulled them out; but this poor soldier
had neither Bible nor Prayer-book, nothing only
this here deck of cards, and he pulled them
out and laid them before him. He looked first
upon one and then upon another card as he
sat, and the sergeant of the company saw him,
and said, 'Richard, put up those cards, else
after the divine service is over you are my
prisoner.'

"'What for?' said the soldier.

"'For playing a game of cards in the church,'
said the sergeant.

"'No,' said the soldier, 'I did not play a
game of cards in the church, for I was only
looking at a deck.'

"'No matter at all about that, you are my
prisoner.'

"'Well,' said the soldier, 'where must I
go?'

"'Before the mayor,' said the sergeant.

"'Well and good,' said the soldier.

"When they came to the mayor, he was at
dinner; but when the mayor came out, he said,
'Well, sergeant, what have you to do with me
to-day?'

"'Sir, I have brought this man before your
honour for playing a game of cards in the
church.'

"'What, that man?' said the mayor.

"'Yes, your honour.'

"'What have you got to say for yourself,
soldier?'

"'Much, sir.'

"'Good, I hope,' said the mayor; 'for if not,
you shall be punished the severest that ever man
was punished.'

"'Sir, I have been five weeks on the march,
and have got but little money to subsist on — to
buy pipeclay, blacking, washing, and other
things, which is necessary for a soldier to want.
I had neither a Bible nor Church Prayer-book,
nothing only this deck of cards; so I pulled
them out, and laid them before me as I sat, first
looking upon one and upon another.

"'So I began with the ace; that is one pip, you
all know. When I see the ace, the one, it puts
me in mind that there is but one God over you
and me and all the world, sir. When I see the
two pips, they put me in mind of the Father and
Son. When I see the three, it puts me in mind
of the Father, Son, and of the Holy Ghost.
When I see the four, it puts me in mind of the
four Evangelists who appended the Gospels,
that is, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. When
I see the five, it puts me in mind of the five
virgins; there were ten, but five were foolish.
When I see the six pips, it puts me in mind
that in six days God finished all His work, which
He had made and created; and God saw everything
that He had made, and behold it was very
good. And when I see the seven, it puts me in
mind that God rested on the seventh day, and
God blessed the seventh day, and hallowed it.
When I see the eight, it puts me in mind of the
eight righteous persons which God saved when
He destroyed the world, that is, Noah and his
wife, and their three sons (and their wives),
that is, Shem, Ham, and Japhet. When I see
the nine, it puts me in mind of the nine lepers'
(or, as Master Loasby invariably pronounced
and, I have little doubt, understood it, leopards)
'that were cleansed; there were ten, but nine
never returned to give thanks, save only this
poor stranger, and he was a Samaritan. When
I see the ten, I remember the ten commandments
which God gave Moses on the mount, on
two tables of stone, written thereon by the
finger of God.'"

(Here he takes the knave, and laying that
aside, passes on to the king.)

"'When I see the king, it puts me in mind
of the great King of Heaven. When I see the
queen, it puts me in mind of the Queen of
Sheba, who came from the furthermost parts
of the earth to hear the wisdom of King
Solomon. She brought forth a hundred boys
and girls, all dressed in girls' clothing, and
set before King Solomon for him to tell which
were boys and which girls; but he could not
till he called for water to wash them. The
boys washed round their wrists, and the girls up
to their elbows, so King Solomon, I suppose,
told by that. When I count how many pips
there is in a deck of cards, I find three hundred
and sixty-five, sir; and there is three hundred
and sixty-five days in a year, sir. When I
count how many cards there is in a deck, I find
fifty-two; and there is fifty-two weeks in a year,
sir. When I count how many tricks there is,
I find thirteen, sir; and there is thirteen months
in a year, sir (lunral, you know, sir). So you see
that this deck of cards is almanack, and Bible,
and Common Church Prayer-book to me, sir.'

"'Well, soldier, you have given a good
account of all the cards but one.'

"'Which be that, sir?'

"'The knave.'

"'Well, sir, I could give your honour as good
an account of that card as of any of the rest,
sir, if your honour would not be offended.'

"'Not at all, soldier, except you make me the
knave.'

"'Well, sir, the greatest that I know is the
man that brought me before your honour.'

"'Well, soldier, I do not know whether he is
the greatest knave, but I am sure that he is the
greatest fool;' and with that the mayor thanked
him, and ordered him some bread and cheese
and beer, gave him a piece of money, and told
him to go about his business, saying that the
soldier was the cleverest man he had ever seen
in all his life."

This Eastern kind of recreation ended, the
sexton, having earned his right to the call,
would appeal to the village mason for one of his
songs. Smoking Spiritualised was perhaps
the most in favour, but it is not given here as
being widely known, from its slightly altered
burden, "Think of this when you're smoking
tobacco."

Mason Newman, having been duly applauded,
would call on some musical neighbour for a