then interrupted, saying: " Mr. M., it is too
late. The court has pronounced the decree of
divorce, and the parties are no longer man and
wife. But if you want to argue the case, right
bad, the court can marry them over again and
give you a crack at it."

I was at Clear Lake, when an Irishman,
named Jerry McCarthy, was tried in the county
court on a charge of whipping his wife. A
point of law was raised by the attorney for the
defence as to the admissibility of certain evidence
offered by the district attorney, " Judge " J. H.
Thompson (for it is "judge" once, "judge"
always), and the court called upon the attorney
to produce his authorities to sustain his position.
The attorney being rather slow in finding
the law in point, the court, just as he had found
it, and was rising to read it, ruled that the
evidence was not admissible. "The deuce you
do!" hallooed the district attorney. " Say,
judge, I read you the law, and bet you a thousand
dollars I'm right." " I'll send you to jail for
twenty-four hours for contempt of court!" cried
the judge. " Send to jail and be hanged!" cried
the district attorney. "I know my rights, and
intend to maintain them." The judge then called
out " Sheriff Crigler, Crigler Sheriff, take Judge
Thompson to jail, and adjourn court four-and-
twenty hours!" Crigler advanced to obey the
order, but halted upon seeing the district
attorney put himself into a " posish;" at the
same time shouting loud enough to be heard all
over the town that neither Crigler nor any
other man should carry him to jail. To make
things sure, the sheriff called for a commitment;
but while this was being prepared mutual
apologies passed between the court and the
district attorney, and the order was revoked.
The court was then adjourned for a quarter of
an hour, to allow, according to custom made
and provided in such cases, of " drinks"
being exchanged; after which the trial
proceeded to its result in the acquittal of the
defendant. If all stories be true, occasionally
the court adjourns in less favoured districts, to
allow antagonistic attorneys to fight out with
their fists what couldn't be settled by their
tongues. I witnessed once—not in a rough
American territory—but in the British town
of Victoria, Vancouver Island—a " stand-up"
fight between the " Honourable the Attorney-
General" and a client of the opposite party in a
suit; and not long afterwards two of the most
prominent of the members of the colonial
parliament engaged in a like encounter. I
mention this, lest it might be unjustly supposed
that these eccentricities are found exclusively
in border parts of the United States.

One summer afternoon I happened to pass
through a frontier village in by no means the
newest State of the Pacific settlements. While
my horse was baiting, hearing that the supreme
court was in session, I strolled in. After passing
up a ricketty stair, thickly sprinkled with saliva,
cigar ends, and sawdust, where the rough
unplaned board walls were scrawled over with
likenesses of "Judge" This and "Judge" That,
and remarks upon them, personally, politically,
and judicially, I entered, by a ricketty old door,
a plastered room with a whitewashed board
ceiling, but very dirty, and a floor covered
with sawdust. On a few forms scattered
through the room, lolled some " citizens" half
asleep. They turned round at the sound of
my jingling Mexican spurs, but finding that I
was only a rough fellow with a buckskin shirt
on, lolled back again and dozed off to sleep
until aroused by some particular burst of
eloquence from the lips of a linen-coated lawyer
who was speaking furiously on the "jumping"
of a mining claim. When anything particular
seized the fancy of the "citizens," they
would applaud in a lazy manner, and once
or twice an enthusiastic miner in gum boots,
with his cheek distended by an enormous
"chaw" of tobacco, shouted "Bully!" "Good
again!" and "That's so, judge!" But he
was, I am glad to say, instantly quashed,
though only partially put down; for he would
still breathe out, in a lower tone, "Bu—lly!"
"Good on yer head!" and so on, and explain to
me (in a stage whisper) the peculiar merits of
the case, in which it would seem he was
interested; for he was the only person present
who cared anything about the proceedings.
Except the lawyer's voice and the whispering
of his excited client, there was no noise in the
court but the fall of a disused quid or the
squirling of tobacco juice.

The lawyers sat at a horseshoe table at one
end of the room; most of them sound asleep
with their chairs tilted back and their heels on
the table before them. In front of them
on a raised platform, sat a gentleman without
a waistcoat, but with a long and rather
dusty brown linen coat, over a somewhat dirty
white shirt without a collar. He, too, had his
legs up in front of him, and was likewise chewing
tobacco with a slow motion of his leathery
jaws; for the heat of the day and the somniferous
character of the proceedings seemed to have
disposed him to sleep, like everybody else. Now
and then he would incline his head, but only
to squirt the rejected juice between his legs.
Sometimes, when the lawyer indulged in
unbecoming language in reference to the court,
he would start up, and in the excitement of the
moment miss his aim and squirt over among
the sleepy counsel. Finally he had to charge
the jury, which he did in a very sensible
and thoroughly legal manner. He was a good
lawyer and had been attentive to the case.
However, in my eyes it detracted a little from
his honour's dignity, to see him take the half
used quid from his mouth and hold it between
his thumb and forefinger, while he charged.

In the course of the evening I had a chance
of making very close acquaintance with " his
Honour." The little village hotel was crowded
with an unwonted concourse of lawyers and
jurymen, and, when I made up my mind to stay
over the night, the " proprietor " (there are no
landlords in America) informed me that he
"reckoned Judge—— had the only single bed,