Street. Adjoining this land was a yard,
belonging to the parish of St. Jeremiah,
which the Parish Trustees were fencing in
with a wall. Bones alleged that one corner
of their wall was advanced about ten inches
on his ground, and as they declined to remove
it back, he kicked down the brickwork
before the mortar was dry. The Trustees
having satisfied themselves that they were
not only within their own boundary, but that
they had left Bones some feet of the parish
land to boot, built up the wall again. Bones
kicked it down again.

"The Trustees put it up a third time, under
the protection of a policeman. The inexorable
Bones, in spite of the awful presence of this
functionary, not only kicked down the wall
again, but kicked the bricklayers into the
bargain. This was too much, and Bones was
marched off to Guildhall for assaulting the
bricklayers. The magistrate rather pooh-
poohed the complaint, but bound over Bones
to keep the peace. The causa belli, the wall,
was re-edified a fourth time; but when the
Trustees revisited the place next morning, it
was again in ruins! While they were in
consultation upon this last insult, they were
politely waited on by an attorney's clerk, who
served them all with 'writs' in an action of
trespass, at the suit of Bones, for encroaching
on his land.

"Thus war was declared about a piece of
dirty land literally not so big as a door-step,
and the whole fee-simple of which would not
sell for a shilling. The Trustees, however,
thought they ought not to give up the rights
of the parish to the obstinacy of a perverse
fellow, like Bones, and resolved to indict
Bones for assaulting the workmen. Accordingly,
the action and the indictment went on
together.

"The action was tried first, and as the
evidence clearly showed the Trustees had
kept within their own boundary, they got the
verdict. Bones moved for a new trial; that
failed. The Trustees now thought they
would let the matter rest, as it had cost
the parish about one hundred and fifty pounds,
and they supposed Bones had had enough
of it. But they had mistaken their man.
He brought a writ of error in the action,
which carried the cause into the Exchequer
Court, and tied it up nearly two years,
and in the mean time he forced them nolens
volens to try the indictment. When the trial
came on, the Judge said, that as the whole
question had been decided in the action,
there was no occasion for any further
proceedings, and therefore the Defendant had
better be acquitted, and so make an end of it.

"Accordingly, Bones was acquitted; and
the very next thing Bones did, was to sue the
Trustees in a new action, for maliciously
instituting the indictment against him without
reasonable cause! The new action went on
to trial; and it being proved that one of the
Trustees had been overheard to say that they
would punish him, this was taken as evidence
of malice, and Bones got a verdict for forty
shillings damages besides all the costs. Elated
with this victory, Bones pushed on his old
action in the Exchequer Chamber to a hearing,
but the Court affirmed the judgment against
him, without hearing the Trustees' counsel.

"The Trustees were now sick of the very
name of Bones, which had become a sort of
bugbear, so that if a Trustee met a friend in
the street, he would be greeted with an
inquiry after the health of his friend Mr.
Bones. They would have gladly let the
whole matter drop into oblivion, but Jupiter
and Bones had determined otherwise; for the
indomitable Briton brought a Writ of Error
in the House of Lords, on the judgment
of the Exchequer Chamber. The unhappy
Trustees had caught a Tartar, and follow him
into the Lords they must. Accordingly,
after another year or two's delay, the case
came on in the Lords. Their Lordships
pronounced it the most trumpery Writ of Error
they had ever seen, and again affirmed the
judgment, with costs, against Bones. The
Trustees now taxed their costs, and found
that they had spent not less than five hundred
pounds in defending their claim to a bit of
ground that was not of the value of an old
shoe. But, then, Bones was condemned to
pay the costs. True; so they issued execution
against Bones; caught him, after some
trouble, and locked him up in gaol. The
next week, Bones petitioned the Insolvent
Court, got of prison; and, on examination of
schedule, his effects appeared to be £0 0s. 0d.!
Bones had, in fact, been fighting the Trustees
on credit for the last three years; for his own
attorney was put down as a creditor to a
large amount, which was the only satisfaction
the Trustees obtained from perusing his
schedule.

They were now obliged to have recourse to
the Parish funds to pay their own law
expenses, and were consoling themselves with
the reflection that these did not come out of
their own pockets,—when they received the
usual notification that a bill in Chancery had
been filed against them, at Mr. Bones's suit,
to overhaul their accounts with the parish, and
prevent the misapplication of the Parish money
to the payment of their law costs! This was
the climax. And being myself a disciple of
Coke, I have heard nothing further of it;
being unwilling, as well perhaps as
unqualified, to follow the case into the labyrinthic
vaults of the Court of Chancery. The
catastrophe, if this were a tale, could hardly be
mended—so the true story may end here."

Number 44 of "HOUSEHOLD WORDS," for the 25th of
January, 1851, Price 2d, will contain the First Portion of
A CHILD'S HISTORY OF ENGLAND,
Which will be continued, at regular intervals, until the
History is completed.
Office 16, Wellington Street North, London