Messrs. Snapples and Son resided within, and
that their office hours were from ten till four.
In order to become my progenitor it fell a
victim to dishonest practices. A "fast" man
unscrewed it one night, and bore it off in
triumph to his chambers. Here it was
included by "the boy" among his numerous
"perquisites," and, by an easy transition, soon
found its way to the Hebrew gentleman above
mentioned.

The first meeting between my parents took
place in the melting-pot of this ingenious
person, and the result of their subsequent
union was mutually advantageous. The one
gained by the alliance that strength and
solidity which is not possessed by even the
purest pewter; while to the solid qualities of
the other were added a whiteness and
brilliancy that unadulterated zinc could never
display.

From the Jew, my parents were transferred
—mysteriously and by night—to an obscure
individual in an obscure quarter of the metropolis,
when, in secrecy and silence, I was cast,
to use an appropriate metaphor, upon the
world.

How shall I describe my first impression
of existence? how portray my agony when
I became aware what I was—when I
understood my mission upon earth? The reader,
who has possibly never felt himself to be what
Mr. Carlyle calls a "sham," or a "solemnly
constituted impostor," can have no notion of
my sufferings!

These, however, were endured only in my
early and unsophisticated youth. Since then,
habitual intercourse with the best society has
relieved me from the embarrassing appendage
of a conscience. My long career upon town—
in the course of which I have been bitten, and
rung, and subjected to the most humiliating
tests — has blunted my sensibilities, while it has
taken off the sharpness of my edges; and, like
the counterfeits of humanity, whose lead may
be seen emulating silver at every turn, my
only desire is—  not to be worthy of passing,
but simply — to pass.

My impression of the world, on first
becoming conscious of existence, was, that it was
about fifteen feet in length, very dirty, and
had a damp unwholesome smell; my notions
of mankind were, that it shaved only once a
fortnight; that it had coarse, misshapen
features; a hideous leer; that it abjured soap,
as a habit; and lived habitually in its shirt-
sleeves. Such, indeed, was the aspect of the
apartment in which I first saw the light, and
such the appearance of the professional
gentleman who ushered me into existence.

I may add that the room was fortified, as
if to sustain a siege. Not only was the door
itself lined with iron, but it was strengthened
by pondrous wooden beams, placed upright,
and across, and in every possible direction.
This formidable exhibition of precautions
against danger was quite alarming.

I had not been long brought into this
"narrow world" before a low and peculiar tap,
from the outside of the door, met my ear. My
master paused, as if alarmed, and seemed on
the point of sweeping me and several of my
companions (who had been by this time
mysteriously ushered into existence) into some
place of safety. Reassured, however, by a
second tapping, of more marked peculiarity,
he commenced the elaborate process of
unfastening the door. This having been
accomplished, and the entrance left to the
guardianship only of a massive chain, a mysterious
watchword was exchanged with some person
outside, who was presently admitted.

"Hollo! there's two on you?" said my
master, as a hard elderly animal entered,
followed somewhat timidly by a younger one
of mild and modest aspect.

"A green un as I have took under my
arm," said Mr. Blinks (which I presently
understood to be the name of the elder
one), "and werry deserving he promises to
be. He's just come out of the stone-pitcher,
without having done nothing to entitle him
to have gone in. This was it: a fellow out
at Highbury Barn collared him, for lifting
snow from some railings, where it was a
hanging to dry. Young Innocence had never
dreamt of anything of the kind—bein' a
walking on his way to the work'us—but
beaks being prowerbially otherways than fly,
he got six weeks on it. In the 'Ouse o'
Correction, however, he met some knowing
blades, who put him up to the time of day,
and he'll soon be as wide-awake as any on 'em.
This morning he brought me a pocket-book,
and in it eigh—ty pound in flimsies. As he is a
young hand, I encouraged him by giving him
three pun' ten for the lot—it's runnin' a
risk, but I done it. As it is, I shall have to
send 'em all over to 'Ambug. Howsomever,
he's got to take one pund in home made;
bein' out of it myself, I have brought him to
you."

"You 're here at the nick o' time,"
said my master, '' I've just finished a new
batch—"

And he pointed to the glittering heap in
which I felt myself— with the diffidence of
youth—to be unpleasantly conspicuous.

"I've been explaining to young Youthful
that it's the reg'lar thing, when he sells
his swag to gents in my way of business, to
take part of it in this here coin." Here he
took me up from the heap, and as he did so I
felt as if I were growing black between his
fingers, and having my prospects in life very
much damaged.

"And is all this bad money?" said the
youth, curiously, gazing, as I thought, at me
alone, and not taking the slightest notice of
the rest of my companions.

"Hush, hush, young Youthful," said Mr.
Blinks, "no offence to the home coinage.
In all human affairs, everythink is as good
as it looks."

"I could not tell them from the good—