But now we step into our Phantom Ship, to
sail home by the country of the Patagonians;
and in a minute you are landed safely by your
own fireside.

THE QUEEN'S BAZAAR.

THE articles displayed for sale at the
Queen's Bazaar are brought together under
peculiar circumstances. Some of them are
handed over by Her Majesty's Revenue
officers, who obtain them from passengers as
they step ashore from foreign steamers. Some,
are thus unwillingly contributed by full-
figured dowagers; by young ladies carrying
poodles; by well-cloaked gentlemen; or by
obese individuals encumbered with protuberating
brandy-bottles, formed like the "stuffing"
adopted by actors when they play
Falstaff.

It is, however, a pity that the smuggling
propensities of Mrs. Brown, Miss Robinson, or
Mr. Bombigs, should be a cause of annoyance
to the thousands of passengers who land weekly
on our coasts. It is a pity, that because Miss
Bumble cannot resist the temptation of
secreting a bottle or two of Eau de Cologne
between the folds of her packed-up draperies;
that because Mr. Fitz-Fink must put Galignani's
edition of "Astoria" in his hat-box; their
fellow-passengers should be subjected to the
annoyance of having their wardrobes tumbled
out upon a counter, for the amusement of the
curious. It is distressing to witness the
performance of the searcher's duties. Mrs. Tiplip's
boxes are thrown upon the counter, uncorded,
unlocked. The searcher commences by
removing huge piles of silk dresses; Mrs. Tiplip
looking on in a state of the greatest excitement.
The searcher vigorously rams his arm to the
bottom of the trunk, and by a dexterous twist
tumbles its contents into a condition of the
most picturesque confusion. Mrs. Tiplip feels
that she will faint, if the man does not
desist at once. But, he regards neither her
confusion nor her expostulations. He rolls
a dozen pairs of stockings upon the counter;
he rattles her jewel-case and asks for the key;
he minutely inspects her supply of linen; he
brings to public light all kinds of little secret
cosmetics and artifices, which gentlemen are
not usually privileged to see. He hopes that
there is no contraband article secreted in her
needlecase. He trusts that there is nothing but
cotton in her work-box; and having chalked
a huge hieroglyphic upon the trunk, pushes
the whole tumbled exposed heap from before
him, and turns to another victim. Now and then
he ruthlessly seizes a bottle of brandy, a few
yards of lace, or a pair of new shoes; but
generally finds nothing worth touching. The
value of his contributions to the Queen's
Bazaar scarcely covers the amount of his
salary.

In another part of the Custom House are
officials keeping up the Queen's Bazaar stock
by mulcting the merchants. It is necessary
to prevent importers from understating the
value of goods upon which an ad valorem duty
is charged. To check this tendency, a system
has been adopted of buying those goods which
the Custom House officers hold to be
undervalued. Thus, when a merchant declares the
value of a bale of goods, and the officer
believes the declaration to be understated, he
pays the value the merchant has declared to
the owner, and retains the goods. This course
furnishes the chief articles which figure at the
periodical Custom House sale. Very often,
Her Majesty loses by these transactions.
Thus, a merchant imported a quantity of
soiled goods lately, which he declared at
the value he honestly believed they would
fetch. This declaration being, to the mind of
the officials (who disregarded the damaged
condition of the goods), understated, they
paid the merchant his price on the part of
Her Majesty, and subjected them to the
hammer, in the expectation that a round
sum would be realised by the bargain. It
turned out, however, that the merchant had
rather overstated the value; and, the
consequence was, that the goods were sold for about
one hundred and fifty pounds less than the
Custom House authorities had paid for them.
As a large proportion of the goods sold under
the authority of the Customs' Commissioners
are detained and paid for as undervalued, the
bazaar is in some sort a Government speculation;
and one, probably, that does not return
a large per centage of profit. The pickings
from trunks, form items which it is easy to
trace; the articles wrenched from the grasp
of professional smugglers are for the most
part either tobacco or spirits.

Having thus briefly reviewed the systems
which fill Her Majesty's Bazaar with all kinds
of valuable commodities, we may enter the
Queen's Warehouse, situated on the ground-
floor of the Custom House. The Queen's
Warehouse is not an imposing apartment,
either in its decorations or extent. It is
simply a large square room, lighted by an
average number of windows, and consisting of
four bare walls, upon which there is not the
most distant approach to decoration. Counters
are placed in different directions, with no
regard to order or effect. Here and there,
masses of drapery for sale are hung suspended
from cords, or, to all appearance, nailed against
the wall. Across one corner of the room, in
the immediate vicinity of a very handsome
inlaid cabinet, two rows of dilapidated Bath
chaps are slung upon a rope. Close under
these delicacies, stands a rosewood piano, on
which a foreign lady, supported by a foreign
gentleman, is playing a showy fantasia. The
effect of her brilliant and vehement performance
is, however, unhappily marred by the
presumption of a young gentleman who is
trying a gross of accordions, situated at the
further end of the row of chaps, by playing
the first few notes of the National Anthem
upon each, with utter disregard of time and