information about the Express-train—for
which Sir Valentine had a return ticket—
could be obtained from any body. Nobody
knew any thing. Meantime the crowd began
to increase twofold.

Sir Valentine was dying with thirst. He
made his way into a large waiting-room, and
saw bottles of wine, and stout, and soda-
water, bobbing and sailing over peoples'
heads; but it was in vain to try and get
near the window; and as to waiters, not a
fellow or shadow of the kind was to be found.
He was recommended to " try the tap"
outside. Here it was still worse—though some
fortunate individuals had, nevertheless,
contrived to get drunk. Sir Valentine held up a
shilling in the air for a glass of porter, till his
arm was ready to drop off; and then he
abandoned all hope.

"Have you heads upon your shoulders?"
cried he to a tall young farmer who was leaning
with his back against the wall:—"You
want to make money with all your souls;
and you are too stupid to know how, when
the money is ready to be thrown into your
mouths. Look at your tap, there? Look at
all those struggling outside. Why should
not a beer-cask, as easily as a water-cask, be
set on a truck and wheeled out here—two or
three of them—and so accommodate the
public and take all the money that could be
offered? But no; not you! not you! You
want some clever Frenchman or German, to
come and show you the way—the simple
means—and then you 'll bawl and scream
against foreigners coming and taking the
bread out of your mouth! Here have I, for
instance—"

A whistle sounded from the railway platform,
and Sir Valentine hurried away from
the tall young farmer, who had just awoke
to a belief that the gentleman was mad.

The confusion on the platform had by this
time increased tenfold. A long train of
carriages was there—and on the line or rail on
the other side, there was another. But
nobody could tell Sir Valentine which was
the Express-train. This state of things
continued at least a quarter-of-an-hour beyond
the time when the Express-train ought to
have started. At length a railway officer
was able sufficiently to collect himself to
listen to Sir Valentine, and inform him that
this was the Express which was now going.
Up and down struggled Sir Valentine amidst
the crowd; but every first-class carriage was
full of faces all looking so comfortable and
smiling, as he thrust his anxious face in at
the windows. Finally, the whistle blew again,
and in despair Sir Valentine scrambled into
the only vacant seat remaining in one of the
second-class carriages. The engine-whistle
screamed, and onward they rolled.

"This is the way you treat gentlemen!"
exclaimed he, looking round at his fellow-
passengers. " You make them pay one pound
four shillings for a first class Express-train—
and you oblige them to get into a second-class
carriage!"

"In an Excursion-train!" drily added one
of the passengers, a grazier, who was
buttoned up to the chin in a grey duffel coat.

"The Excursion-train!" ejaculated Sir
Valentine. There he stopped; partly for
want of breath; partly from rage; but still
more because of the ridicule he perceived he
should encounter from his fellow-passengers,
He therefore endeavoured to join in their
laugh. " Ha, ha! " said he, in a hollow
tone.

Arrived at Lewes, the train stopped. The
stoppage continued a long time, and then
the whole train was thrust backward at least
a mile, when again it stopped. After another
quarter-of-an-hour some of the passengers got
out and looked about them. They informed
their friends inside that the engine had been
taken away. So, here stood the train in the
bend of the railway, forming an immense crescent
of carriages all crowded with no apparent
chance of advancing—and no explanation
of the cause of the delay! The passengers
now began to make all sorts of noises
—shouts, hootings, hisses, whistles, yells, and
stamping with the feet. Still, not a word
of explanation from any officer or porter—
indeed, only one or two appeared, and
hurried away, refusing to reply to the simplest
questions.

After half an hour of this "fun," a train
came up on the furthermost line. It paused
a few minutes then went on before the one
which had been so long delayed.

"No doubt but that is the ' Express,' " said
the man in the duffel coat.

The vociferations and noises now increased.
The passengers banged with sticks against the
panels of the carriages, and uttered screams
and cat-calls innumerable. In the midst of
this, up comes another train—also going to
London. After waiting a few minutes, this
also rolled onward. As it passed the dark,
stationary crescent of carriages, all manner of
yells, hisses, hoots, and ha-a-as of rage and
disgust followed the happy train, the
passengers of which answered by a victorious
cheer.

This was too much to bear, and the deserted
crescent now uplifted its voice in a most
furious manner, and several of the most
outrageous endeavoured to smash panels and
seats with their sticks. At length somebody
with heavy boots fell to drumming,
and this gradually took a measured cadence,
till all along these fifty or sixty compartments
resounded the heavy drumming of a
monotonous tune, with which the performers
grew so pleased, that it put them into good
humour, notwithstanding this abominable
treatment, which they had now endured
upwards of three-quarters of an hour.

Certainly, Englishmen en masse are very
ready to be pleased, and very good-natured
under trying circumstances. Here, now, were