Then, very rapidly, "I keep a Coffee house,
as I will substantiate to-morrow morning and
what is more will prove and that is saying a
great deal." Then, still more rapidly, "I
wish to make a charge immediate against
pleesemen forty-two and fifty-three!"

"Well, ma'am, be so good as make it."

"I were standing at my door," falling of a
sudden into a genteel and impressive slowness,
"in conversation with a friend, a gentleman
from the country which his name is
Henery Lupvitch, Es-quire— "

"Is he here, ma'am?"

"No, sir," with surpassing scorn. He is
not here!"

"Well, ma'am?"

"With Henery Lupvitch Es-quire, and
which I had just been hissuing directions to
two of my servants, when here come between
us a couple of female persons which I know to
be the commonest dirt, and pushed against me."

"Both of them pushed against you?"

"No sir," with scorn and triumph, "they
did not! One of 'em pushed against me"—
A dead stoppage, expressive of implacable
gentility.

"Well, ma'am—did you say anything then?"

"I ask your parding. Did I which, sir?"
As compelling herself to fortitude under great
provocation.

"Did you say anything?"

"I ope I did. I says, how dare you do
that ma'am?'"

Stoppage again. Expressive of a severe
desire that these words be instantly taken
down.

"You said how dare you do that?"

"'Nobody,' continuing to quote with a
lofty and abstracted effort of memory, 'never
interfered with you.' She replies, 'That's
nothink to you, ma'am. Never you mind.'"

Another pause, expressive of the same
desire as before. Much incensed at nothing
resulting.

"She then turns back between me and
Henery Lupvitch Es-quire, and commits an
assault upon me, which I am not a acquisition
and will not endoor or what is more submit
to."

What Mrs. Megby means by the particular
expression that she is not an acquisition, does
not appear; but she turns more livid, and
not only her lip but her whole frame trembles
as she solemnly repeats, "I am not a
acquisition."

"Well, ma'am. Then forty-two and fifty-three
came up—"

"No they did not, sir; nothink of the sort!
—I called 'em up."

"And you said?"

"Sir?" with tremendous calmness.

"You said?"—

"/ made the obserwation," with strong
emphasis and exactness, "I give this person in
charge for assaulting of me. Forty-two says,
'O you're not hurt. Don't make a
disturbance here. Fifty-three likewys declines
to take the charge. Which," with greater
rapidity than ever, "is the two pleesemen I
am here to appear against; and will be here
at nine to-morrow morning, or at height if
needful, or at sivin—hany hour—and as a
ouseholder demanding the present charge to
be regularly hentered against pleesemen
respectually numbered forty-two and fifty-three,
which shall be substantiated by day
or night or morning—which is more—for I
am not a acquisition, and what those
pleesemen done sir they shall answer!"

The Inspector whose patience is not in the
least affected—being now possessed of the
charge, reduces it to a formal accusation
against two P. C's., for neglect of duty, and
gravely records it in Mrs. Megby's own words
—with such fidelity that, at the end of every
sentence when it is read over, Mrs. Megby,
comparatively softened, repeats, "Yes, sir,
which it is correct! " and afterwards signs,
as if her name were not half long enough for
her great revenge.

On the removal of Mrs. Megby's person,
Mr. Bat, to our great amazement, is revealed
behind her.

"I say! Is it t'morrow mawrer?" asks
Mr. Bat in confidence.

"He has got out of the cab," says the Inspector,
whom nothing surprises, "and will be
brought in, in custody, presently! No. This
morning. Why don't you go home?"

"This mawrer! " says Mr. Bat, profoundly
reflecting. "How car it be this mawrer. It
must be yesserday mawrer."

"You had better make the best of your
way home, sir," says the Inspector.

"No offence is interrer," says Mr. Bat. "I
happened to be passing—this dirrertion—when
—saw door open—kayrnin. It's a frez of
my—I am nor—" he is quite unequal to the
word particular now, so concludes with "you
no war I me!—I am aw ri! I shall be here
in the mawrer! " and stumbles out again.

The watch-stealer, who has been removed,
is now brought back. Mrs. Green (the
searcher) reports to have found upon her some
halfpence, two pawnbroker's duplicates, and
a comb. All produced.

"Very good. You can lock her up now.
jailer.—What does she say?"

"She says can she have her comb, sir?"

"Oh yes. She can have her comb. Take
it!" And away she goes to the cells, a dirty
unwholesome object, designing, no doubt, to
comb herself out for the magisterial presence
in the morning.

"O! Please sir, you have got two French
ladies here, in brown shot silk?" says a
woman with a basket. (We have changed
the scene to the Vine Street Station House,
but its general arrangement is just the same).

"Yes."

"Will you send 'em in, this fowl and bread
for supper, please?"

"They shall have it. Hand it in."

"Thank'ee, sir. Good night, sir!"