copies of the documents issued from a house
in London, which, at the moment of which I
am now speaking, gave a fugitive sense of
delight to me, and Mr. Brown, and Mr. Smith.
Smith read as follows:—

"'MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCE ASSOCIATION.'"

"Very good," said Mr. Brown, "there's
nothing like the principle of combination. People
who want to get married, ought to co-operate
with one another. Go on, Smith; very good."

"'MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCE ASSOCIATION."

"Bravo!" said I, "Matrimony unites folks,
Alliance unites folks, and Association unites
folks; so that's what I consider an emphatic
title."

"Hold your tongue," said Mr. Smith, "and
let me go on reading, will you?"

"'Established as a Medium for the
introduction of Parties unknown to each
other, who are desirous of entering into
Matrimony.'"

"That's your sort," said Brown, in his
sarcastic manner. "I see at once that the
writer of that is thoroughly well up in his
materials. Parties unknown to each other,
always are the sort who are desirous of being
united in the bonds of Matrimony. If they
knew a little more, they'd think a little
longer. Go on, Smith."

"'—conducted on the system so successfully
adopted in New York and Paris.

"'The most INVIOLABLE SECRESY being
SECURED to both sexes.

"'The Application of the System is not
confined to one Class of Individuals, but presents
equal advantages to the TRADESMAN as well
as to the PEER.

"'All Forms of Application, being duly and
properly filled up with particulars, to be
enclosed in a Double Cover, addressed to the
Secretary, numbered 1 and 2—No. 1 being
the Form filled up with Initials and Address,
(real or nominal) with other particulars,
for the Secretary: No. 2, to contain real
Name and Address (under sealed cover),
which will only be opened when the proper
opportunity arrives, and matters appear
propitious. But if from any circumstance it may
not be required, it will be returned (unopened)
as per Address, real or nominal, as contained
in Form No. 1.—thus securing secresy and
honourable conduct.

"'FOR EXAMPLE:—Any lady or gentleman
may receive the Form of a likely candidate,
for perusal, and who approve the same, but
decline a personal interview, can forward
their PORTRAIT to the Secretary—'"

I was glad at hearing that, for it was then
not a week since I had procured myself to be
cut out in a black profile by an artist who
occupies a tent in the Blackfriars Road. I
rejoiced now, therefore, over that well-invested
penny. Smith continued reading—

"'(prepaid), who will show it only to
interested parties; after which the same will
be returned at any time when required.

"'As soon as all preliminaries (through the
secretary) are adjusted, interviews can be
arranged between candidates.

"'This Association being conducted on the
most honourable principles, no party can be
treated with, unless respectable.'"

"Quite right," said Mr. Brown. "All I
can say is, they wouldn't get me to join in, if
it warn't respectable."

We all agreed that this was one of the best
features of the scheme, and my friend went
on reading.

"'Private personal interviews with the secretary
—in town, daily, charge five shillings; or
in the country, on a moderate scale of charges.
Parties desiring further information, prior to
registration, must enclose stamps for answers,
or no reply can be made.

                                   "'Registration Fee, 5s.

which must accompany the letter of each
applicant, payable to the secretary, at Post Office,
Strand, London.

"'Office hours, from Ten till Four o'clock.'"

Then comes the name of the secretary, who
signs himself "Esquire," and the address of
the establishment.

I told my friends that I wouldn't mind
going half-a-sovereign for a rich, handsome,
young wife, of noble family. Our friend
Brown said that he regretted that he would
be unable to go more than fourpence. Our
medical friend would prefer making his investment
after Boxing-day. I therefore took
immediate possession of Form No. 1, and the
same evening filled it up as follows. The
answers, of course, being mine, all the rest
is literally the printed form.

                                    "APPLICATION FORM.

"Candidate's Name, or Initials. Damon.

"Residence Real or Nominal. Nominal—
the Ocean Wave.

"Business or Occupation. Assistant Butcher.

"A Native of what Country. A true Briton.

"Age. Nineteen.

"Complexion. Blonde.

"Height. Five feet four inches.

"Slender or Robust. Never mind.

"Are you of Healthy Constitution. I should
hope so.

"What are your Habits. Beaming.

"Are you fond Society (sic in orig.). Just let
her try me.

"If any accomplishments, say so. Imitations
of animals, chuck-farthing, horsemanship, and
the Jew's-harp.

"If a Widow, how many Children, and
respective ages. Not a widow.

"If a Widower, ditto ditto. Nor a widower.

"What are your Prospects. Marrying well.

"Supposed Income— by Business, Property,
or Annuity. Income by trade, ten pound a
year—by chuck-farthing, say three pound;
total, say thirteen pound.

"Would you give References in the event of
a successful Interview. Yes. Mr. Smith, the
surgeon, and an eminent scholar, Mr. Brown.