poured into the fairy bower, and rather
threatened the floral arrangements outside:
the door-way was quickly jammed up with the
cook's nearest and dearest relations of both
sexes; while the second cousins and half-
uncles and aunts blocked up the little trap-
door of a window with their grizzly grinning
visages. The room we were in was not many
feet square: calculated to hold, perhaps, a
dozen persons in ordinary comfort; but, on
this occasion, compelled to welcome within
its festive mud-walls at least forty. A small
oval table was in the centre; a dozen or so
of curiously-shaped chairs were ranged about
the sides, in the largest of which the bride
was seated. The poor creature was evidently
but ill at ease: so stiff and heavily-laden with
ornaments. The bridegroom was invisible,
and I felt bound to wait upon the lady in
his absence. The little darkened cell was
becoming fearfully hot: indistinct ideas of the
Black Hole at Calcutta rose to my heated
imagination. A feverish feeling crept over
me, not a little enhanced by the Oriental
odours from things and persons about me.
The breeze, when it did manage to squeeze
itself in, brought with it the sickly perfume
of the myriads of flowers and herbs outside.
Upon the whole, the half hour or so which
elapsed between our arrival and the repast
was a period of intense misery to me, and
vast enjoyment to the cook's family circle.
There was nothing to while away the hot
minutes: I had to look alternately at the
bride, the company, and the ceiling; while
the company stared at myself and the lady;
and while she, in her turn, looked hard
enough at the floor, to penetrate through the
bricks to the foundation below. In the first
instance, I had foolishly pictured the breakfast,
or whatever the meal was to be, set
forth upon some grassy spot in the rear of
the premises, under the pleasant shade of
palms and mangoe trees.

But the vulgar crowd must be kept off
by walls; and the little oval table in the
centre of the cabin was to receive the
privileged few, and to shut out the unprivileged
many.

Dishes reeking hot, and soup-tureens in a
state of vapour, were passed into the room,
over the heads of the mob; for, there
was no forcing a way through them. A
long pause, and then some more steaming
dishes, and then another pause, and some
rice-plates; and at last, struggling and
battling amidst the army of relations, the
bridegroom made his appearance—very hot
and very shiny, evidently reeking from the
kitchen. He had slipped on his blue cloth,
many-buttoned coat, and smiled at his wife
and the assembled company, as though he
would have us believe he was quite cool and
comfortable.

It devolved upon me to hand, or rather
drag, the bride to one end of the table;
opposite to whom sat her culinary lord and master,
as dignified, and important, as though his
monthly income had been ten guineas instead
of ten rix-dollars. I seated myself next to
the lady of the hut, and resigned myself to
my fate; escape was out of the question.
Nothing short of fire, or the falling-in of the
roof, could have saved ine. Our rickety
chairs were rendered firm and secure as the
best London-made mahogany-seats, by the
continuous unrelenting pressure of the dense
mob behind and around us. The little room
seemed built of faces; you might have danced
a polka or a waltz on the heads of the
company with perfect security. As for the
window-trap, I could see nothing but bright
shining eyes in that place.

The covers were removed, as covers are
intended to be; but, instead of curiously-
arranged and many-coloured dishes of pure
and unadulterated Cingalese cookery, as I
had, in the early part of the day, fondly hoped
for, there appeared upon them a few overdone,
dried-up joints, à l'Anglaise; a skinny,
consumptive baked shoulder of mutton; a
hard-looking boiled leg of a goat; a shrivelled
spare-rib of beef; a turkey, that might have
died of jungle-fever; a wooden kind of dry
lean ham, with sundry vegetables; made up
this sad and melancholy show. All my
gastronomic hopes, so long cherished amidst that
heated assemblage, vanished with the dish-
covers, and left me a miserable and dejected
visitor. Ten minutes previously, I had felt
the pangs of wholesome hunger, and was
prepared to do my utmost; at that moment, I
only felt empty and sick. Could I have
reached the many-buttoned cook, I might
have been tempted to have done him some
bodily harm; but I could not move. The
host had the wretch of a turkey before him.
Well up to the knife-and-fork exercise, he
whipped me, from the breast of the skinny
bird, two slices of the finest meat—the only
really decent cuts about it—and then, pushing
the dish on to his next neighbour, begged
him to help himself. Of course, I had to
attend to the hostess. I gave her a slice of
the sinewy lean ham before me, with two
legs of a native fowl, and began to think of
an attempt upon the boiled mutton for myself;
but there was no peace for me yet. The
bride had never before used a knife and fork,
and, in her desperate attempts to insert the
latter into one of the fowl's legs, sent it with
a bound into my waistcoat, accompanied by
a shower of gravy, and a drizzling rain of
melted butter and garlic. Feeling more
resigned to my martyrdom, I proceeded to cut
up her ham and chicken, and then fancied
the task was done; but not so. Her dress
was so tight, the ornaments so encompassed
her as with a suit of armour, that all her
attempts to reach her mouth with her fork were
abortive. To bend her hand was evidently
impossible. Once, she managed to get a piece
of ham as high as her chin; but it cost her
violent fractures in several parts of her dress;