12

CHRISTMAS NUMBER OF HOUSEHOLD WORDS.

[Conducted by

in Constantinople oftener than three times
a day. I have kept Christmas on board a
Boulogne packet, in company with a basin,
several despair-stricken females, and a damp
steward; who, to all our inquiries whether
we should be "in soon," had the one un-
varying answer of " pretty near " to give. I
have kept Christmas, when a boy, at a French
boarding-school, where they gave me nothing
but lentils and bouilli for dinner, on the
auspicious day itself. I have kept Christmas
by the bedside of a sick friend, and wished
him the compliments of the season in his
physic-bottles (had they contained another
six months' life, poor soul!) I have kept
Christmas at rich men's tables, where I have
been uncomfortable; and once in a cobbler's
shop, where I was excessively convivial. I
have spent one Christmas in prison. Start
not, urbane reader! I was not sent there for
larceny, nor for misdemeanor: but for debt.

It was Christmas-eve; and I–––my name
is Prupper–––was taking my walks abroad.
I walked through the crowded Strand, elate,
hilarious, benignant, for the feast was pre-
pared, and the guests were bidden. Such
a turkey I had ordered! Not the prize one
with the ribbons–––I mistrusted that; but a
plump, tender, white-breasted bird, a king
of turkeys. It was to be boiled with oyster-
sauce; and the rest of the Christmas dinner
was to consist of that noble sirloin of roast
beef, and that immortal cod's head and
shoulders! I had bought the materials for
the pudding too, some half-hour previously:
the plums and the currants, the citron and
the allspice, the flour and the eggs. I was
happy.

Onward, by the bright grocer's shops,
thronged with pudding-purchasers! Onward,
by the bookseller's, though lingering, it
may be, for a moment, by the gorgeous
Christmas books, with their bright binding,
and brighter pictures. Onward, by the pastry
cook's! Onward, elate, hilarious, and benig-
nant, until, just as I stopped by a poulterer's
shop, to admire the finest capon that ever
London or Christmas saw, a hand was laid
on my shoulder!

"Before our sovereign lady the Queen"–––
"by the grace of God, greeting"–––" that you
take the body of Thomas Prupper, and him
safely keep"–––" and for so doing, this shall be
your warrant."

These dread and significant words swam
before my dazzled eyelids, dancing maniac
hornpipes on a parchment slip of paper. I
was to keep Christmas in no other company
than that of the once celebrated fictitious per-
sonage, supposed to be the familiar of all
persons similarly situated–––JOHN DOE.

I remembered with horror, that some fort-
night previously, a lawyer's clerk deposited
on my shoulder a slip of paper, which he
stated to be the copy of a writ, and in which
her Majesty the Queen (mixed up for the
nonce with John, Lord Campbell) was pleased

to command me to enter an appearance some-
where, by such a day, in order to answer the
plaint of somebody, who said I owed him
some money. Now, an appearance had not
been entered, and judgment had gone by
default, and execution had been obtained
against me. The Sheriff of Middlesex (who
is popularly, though erroneously, supposed
to l>e incessantly running up and down in
his bailiwick) had had a writ of fieri facias,
vulgarly termed fi. fa. against my goods;
but hearing, or satisfying himself by adroit
espionage, that I had no goods, he had made
a return of nulla bona. Then had he invoked
the aid of a more subtle and potential in-
strument, likewise on parchment, called a
capias ad satisfaciendum, abbreviated in legal
parlance into ca. sa., against my body. This
writ he had confided to Aminadab, his man;
and Aminadab, running, as he was in duty
bound to do, up and down in his section of
the bailiwick, had come across me, and had
made me the captive of his bow and spear. He
called it, less metaphorically, "nabbing me."

Mr. Aminadab, (tall, aquiline-nosed, olea-
ginous, somewhat dirty; clad in a green
Newmarket coat, a crimson velvet waist-
coat, a purple satin neckcloth with gold
flowers, two watch-guards, and four diamond
rings,)–––Mr. Aminadab proposed that " some-
thing should be done." Would I go to White-
cross-street at once? or to Blowman's, in
Cursitor-street? or would I just step into
Peele's Coffee-house for a moment? Mr.
Aminadab was perfectly polite, and indefati-
gably suggestive.

The capture had been made in Fleet Street;
so we stepped into Peele's, and while Mr.
Aminadab sipped the pint of wine which he
had obligingly suggested I should order, I
began to look my position in the face. Exe-
cution taken out for forty-five pounds nine and
ninepeuce. Ca. sa., a guinea; fi.fa., a guinea;
capture, a guinea; those were all the costs
as yet. Now, some days after I was served
with the writ, I had paid the plaintiffs lawyer,
on account, thirty pounds. In the innocence
of my heart, I imagined that, by the County
Court Act, I could not be arrested for the
balance, it being under twenty pounds. Mr.
Aminadab laughed with contemptuous pity.

"We do n't do business that way," said he;
"we goes in for the whole lot, and then yon
pleads your set-off, you know."

The long and the short of the matter was,
that I had eighteen pounds, twelve shillings,
and nine pence, to pay, before my friend in the
purple neckcloth would relinquish his grasp;
and that to satisfy the demand, I had exactly
the sum of two pounds two and a half-penny,
and a gold watch, on which a relation of mine
would probably advance four pounds more.
So, I fell to writing letters, Mr. Aminadab
sipping the wine and playing with one of his
watch-chains in the meanwhile.

I wrote to Jones, Brown, and Robinson–––
to Thompson, and to Jackson likewise. I