at first; but at last we became intimate, and
talked of books, and other subjects. He was
deeper in the peerage than myself, though I
knew the Christian names and ages of all the
sons and daughters of "peers' daughters
married to commoners." But he was farther
advanced in high life, and called real earls
and marquises Bob and Charley. At first I
used to blush at such familiarity, but I got used
to it in time, and began to call Lord John
Russell, Little Jack. I asked my friend—his
name was Perks—how he had got so intimate
with so many great people; and he said his
club was full of the nobility.

Here was a chance! I asked Perks to dinner.
He came, and told me such anecdotes of the
illustrious men of my country that I became
very proud. He told me how many bottles of
wine had been drunk at a sitting by two sons
of dukes; how many hundred pounds a young
viscount had won at pitch and toss of a sporting
butcher: it was quite delightful to have
such glimpses into aristocratic society; and I
longed more than ever to belong to the
Megæra—that was the name of Perks's club,
called after a queen of Egypt, he said, and
also the name of a frigate in the royal navy.
He said he would propose my name, and get
a friend to second it—perfectly unexpected
by me. I had lent him fifty pounds to
complete his law library, for he was a conveyancer,
and had a room in Lincoln's Inn, which
I thought very kind in him—the proposing
my name I mean—and accepted his offer with
all my heart. I went every day and walked
for two or three hours in front of the Megæra.
It was a beautiful house, and a tremendous
porter in a red waistcoat was the most
respectable-looking man I ever saw in my
life. Once it came on to rain, and I stood for
shelter under the projecting porch. The
porter came to the door, and I couldn't help
telling him I should soon be a member, for I
was to be balloted for next Monday. He
looked at me for some time, and at last he
said, "Do you know Mr. Boggle, the bar-
barrister?" I said "No."

He looked desponding for a moment or
two, and then disappeared into the hall. Who
could Boggle be? I asked Perks. He was
not acquainted with Boggle, he said, but he
was chairman of all the committees, and the
most active man in the society. I expected
the chief man in the club to be a baronet, at
least, and was rather disappointed in the
sound of the name of Boggle. The day of
election came: Perks was to dine with me at
six. He did not arrive till nearly seven.
"Well?" I said. But he made no answer;
he waited, I thought, till the maid should be
out of the room.

So we dined in silence. At last he said, "I
have seen Boggle, and he begged me to
withdraw your name. I declined. He then said
that duty compelled him. to defend the
respectability of the club; and he was prepared
with any number of friends to blackball you
on the ground—"I gasped with expectation—
what had I done?—what could he object to?
"On the ground of your being a tradesman."
I sat bolt upright. I said, "Tradesman!—I
was a wine-merchant!" "So he allowed,"
continued Perks, "but he had made inquiry."
"Ah! the spirits! " I said, "but we imported
them wholesale." "It is not that. Boggle
said he would have made no opposition to the
rum and brandy; but he actually,"—here
Perks laughed, and filled out the last bumper
of claret—he had drunk amazingly fast, and
scarcely gave me time to have a single glass—
"he actually maintains that you sold tea. If
so, there's of course nothing to be said; but
let us hope it is a mistake."

"Mr. Perks," I said, "it is old Joggs's fault;
I told him so at the time; but I left the firm
when he proposed tea."

"Then you were a grocer, Mr. Murkins,"
said Perks, rising: "I think Boggle perfectly
correct, and I should certainly blackball you
myself—you shall hear from me in a day or
two—there is an account to settle between
us."

"The sooner the better," I said in a passion;
"I will send you a stamped receipt the moment
you send back the money."

By this time he had swung out of the room.
I was greatly excited. I determined to see
this insolent fellow Boggle—but even at that
moment I felt ashamed of the figure I should
make before that magnificent porter when I
sent a message upstairs, waiting in the hail,
and recognised as the gentleman who had
been refused admission. Next morning I
saw old Joggs. I blamed him for the step he
had taken, and showed what humiliation it had
brought upon me. He only laughed, and said,
"I'll tell you what, Murkius: we divided three
thousand more this year than we divided last
year. Slow but sure is our motto; and as to
Boggle, don't you know who Boggle is? He is
the son of our correspondents, Boggle and Date,
of Daventry. We had to sell them up when
we dissolved, and they only paid us on our
account for gin, three and six in the pound.
No wonder Boggle objects to any of our firm."

I had now the upper hand of my opponent.
I wrote him a letter stating that if he were a
gentleman, I should have had much pleasure in
shooting him through the head; but as he was
unworthy of that honour, I merely expressed
my disdain both of him and of the contemptible
club which owned such members as himself
and Mr. Perks, of Lincoln's-inn.

I had found out, I must tell you, that Perks
had been apprenticed to an ironmonger (his
uncle, I believe), at Glo'ster, and so I took
my revenge both on them and the Megæra.

They neither of them took the least notice
of my letter; but when I saw Perks in the
'bus. I looked daggers at him all the way.
He was a big man and carried an immense
walking stick. He never sent me back my
money; I had taken no acknowledgment, and
he let the cad of the omnibus know that if I