within this last year or two, began—to pick
up an intimacy with the little people of
the sea.

THE ROVING ENGLISHMAN.

VILLAGE DIPLOMATISTS.

THE year eighteen hundred and fifty
was a terrible year for many of the
Greek islands. The fine piercing cold of the
winter climate lasted long beyond the usual
time; it entirely destroyed the olives, and
appears to have sown the first seeds of disease
among the grapes. All May, and part of
June, the cold bleak winds tore up trees and
carried about the tiles of houses in such a
volatile manner, that it became dangerous to
walk in the streets. When the hurricanes
ceased at last, and the July sun blazed
out in all its deadly heat, the olive trees,
instead of presenting their usual dark
luxuriant foliage and ripening crops,
looked as if they had been burnt, and were
naked of both leaves and fruit. They had
indeed withered away. All the life and sap
had been burnt out of them, and, except in a
few sheltered places, the whole agricultural
wealth of the island of which we speak was
fit for nothing but fire-wood.

This misfortune struck utter dismay into the
hearts of everybody; till one person, who must
have been the same sort of genius as Caleb
Balderstone (who made such an excellent
business of the Ravenswood fire), suggested
that the evil which had befallen them might
perhaps still be turned to a good account.
Being pressed to explain himself, while
every other gentleman present tucked his
legs under him on the sofa, and composed
himself to listen, this inventive genius
proposed that a deputation of the primates
should set out for Constantinople, and
magnify their grievance (bad as it was
already) until they should not only be exemped
from certain arrears of taxes which had been
long due from the island to the Turkish government,
but should obtain a reduction in the
amount of their taxes generally. The idea was
too alluring to be rejected.

A deputation, therefore, was soon chosen,
composed of the most hungry and
woebegone looking portion of the primates,
—each of whom, was probably worth five
or ten thousand pounds at least. Arrived
at the end of the journey, they bribed
Somebody Effendi to introduce them to another
effendi; and, having then bribed the second
effendi to put them in the way of bribing a
third effendi according to the manner in
which public business has been conducted from
time immemorial in the East, they were at
length received by an effendi who really had
some power. Having bribed him also, they
set forth their troubles, and were graciously
heard.

Rejoicing in such a brilliant result they
returned to their island in excellent spirits;
and, knowing the Turks to be persons
of good faith whenever a promise could be
got out of them, they tranquilly awaited the
good time coining.

But the Turks have their own way of
doing business, and though it is not a very
good one, it is by no means always devoid
of a certain shrewdness. Admitting the
Greek story to be true, the island
was certainly entitled to relief, and should
have it; but they could not admit any
story told by Greeks to be true without
strict inquiry; for, judging from the
past, they had always found that to act
on Greek statements, was to be deceived.
It occurred to the Wise Men of the East,
to whom was entrusted the conduct of the
affair, therefore, to send a commissioner to
inquire into the real state of affairs in the
island, before the amount of relief to be
accorded, was definitely resolved upon. At all
events it would be a nice fat lazy little
employment for somebody; and, as Anybody
Effendi had recently been suffering from an
indigestion of pipes and pilaff, the best thing
possible would be to send him to recruit,
during a pleasant autumn, in the Ægean.
Not that Anybody Effendi probably knew
anything about the business in hand, but
because he had formerly been the favourite
coffee-boy of Muffi Vizier, and the old
gentleman did not like to see him ailing.

Somehow or other, it sometimes seems
that the ability to fill a place is given with
the good fortune which obtains it; so, after
Anybody Effendi had smoked a sufficient
number of pipes, he began to inquire what
was the real amount of the taxes of which
the Greeks complained? Also, acting upon
a hint received from his patron Muffi Vizier
(himself the grandson of a Greek sailor),
he politely requested to know what the
Greek communities were spending in
educational projects, in church-building, in
gifts to their archbishops, in bringing up
young men for the liberal professions in
Europe, and for public purposes
generally. The Greeks were in ecstasies, for
they thought the larger the sum set down
as spent in such virtuous objects, the smaller
would be the amount of taxes hereafter
imposed upon them. Besides, no Greek can resist the
temptation of opportunity, when
any piece of deception is to be practised, and
therefore it is not surprising that the
accounts furnished by the village primates
respecting their local expenses, were quite
astounding. With these documents Anybody
Effendi returned to Constantinople; and, by
the very next boat, a fulminating order from
the Porte was sent down to the local governors
who were instructed to inquire how the
Greeks dared to spend such incredible sums
on their own affairs, while their taxes were
still unpaid.

The village diplomatists were in despair,
and the genius who had suggested the visit
to Constantinople, was now bitterly blamed