honorable gentleman's ears must have reached
the rumours, in consequence of their well-
known length. Mi Tiddypot immediately
rose, looked the honorable and gallant gentleman
full in the face, and left the Vestry.

The excitement, at this moment painfully
intense, was heightened to an acute degree
when Captain Banger rose, and also left the
Vestry. After a few moments of profound
silence—one of those breathless pauses never
to be forgotten—Mr. Chib (of Tucket's Terrace,
and the father of the Vestry) rose. He said
that words and looks had passed in that
assembly, replete with consequences which
every feeling mind must deplore. Time
pressed. The sword was drawn, and while he
spoke the scabbard might be thrown away.
He moved that those honorable gentlemen who
had left the Vestry be recalled, and required
to pledge themselves upon their honor that
this affair should go no farther. The motion
being by a general union of parties unanimously
agreed to (for everybody wanted to
have the belligerents there, instead of out of
sight: which was no fun at all), Mr. Magg
was deputed to recover Captain Banger,
and Mr. Chib himself to go in search of
Mr. Tiddypot. The Captain was found in a
conspicuous position, surveying the passing
omnibuses from the top step of the front-
door immediately adjoining the beadle's box;
Mr. Tiddypot made a desperate attempt at
resistance, but was overpowered by Mr. Chib
(a remarkably hale old gentleman of eighty-
two), and brought back in safety.

Mr. Tiddypot and the Captain being
restored to their places, and glaring on each
other, were called upon by the chair to
abandon all homicidal intentions, and give
the Vestry an assurance that they did so.
Mr. Tiddypot remained profoundly silent.
The Captain likewise remained profoundly
silent, saving that he was observed by those
around him to fold his arms like Napoleon
Buonaparte, and to snort in his breathing—
actions but too expressive of gunpowder.

The most intense emotion now prevailed.
Several members clustered in remonstrance
round the Captain, and several round Mr.
Tiddypot; but, both were obdurate. Mr.
Chib then presented himself amid tremendous
cheering, and said, that not to shrink from
the discharge of his painful duty, he must
now move that both honorable gentlemen be
taken into custody by the beadle, and conveyed
to the nearest police-office, there to be held to
bail. The union of parties still continuing,
the motion was seconded by Mr. Wigsby—on
all usual occasions Mr. Chib's opponent—and
rapturously carried with only one dissentient
voice. This was Dogginson's, who said from
his place " Let 'em fight it out with fistes;"
but whose coarse remark was received as it
merited.

The beadle now advanced along the floor
of the Vestry, and beckoned with his cocked
hat to both members. Every breath was
suspended. To say that a pin might have
been heard to fall, would be feebly to express
the all-absorbing interest and silence.
Suddenly, enthusiastic cheering broke out from
every side of the Vestry. Captain Banger
had risen—being, in fact, pulled up by a
friend on either side, and poked up by a
friend behind.

The Captain said, in a deep determined
voice, that he had every respect for that
Vestry and every respect for that chair; that
he also respected the honorable gentleman of
Gurntion House; but, that he respected his
honor more. Hereupon the Captain sat
down, leaving the whole Vestry much affected.
Mr. Tiddypot instantly rose, and was received
with the same encouragement. He likewise
said—and the exquisite art of this orator
communicated to the observation an air
of freshness and novelty—that he too had
every respect for that Vestry; that he too
had every respect for that chair. That he
too respected the honorable and gallant
gentleman of Wilderness Walk; but, that he
too respected his honor more. "Hows'ever,"
added the distinguished Vestryman, " if the
honorable and gallant gentleman's honor
is never more doubted or damaged than it is
by me, he's all right." Captain Banger
immediately started up again, and said that
after those observations, involving as they
did ample concession to his honor without
compromising the honor of the honorable
gentleman, he would be wanting in honor as
well as in generosity, if he did not at once
repudiate all intention of wounding the honor
of the honorable gentleman, or saying
anything dishonorable to his honorable feelings.
These observations were repeatedly
interrupted by bursts of cheers. Mr. Tiddypot
retorted that he well knew the spirit of honor
by which the honorable and gallant gentleman
was so honorably animated, and that he
accepted an honorable explanation, offered in
a way that did him honor; but, he trusted
that the Vestry would consider that his (Mr.
Tiddypot's) honor had imperatively demanded
of him that painful course which he had felt
it due to his honor to adopt. The Captain
and Mr. Tiddypot then touched their hats to
one another across the Vestry, a great many
times, and it is thought that these proceedings
(reported to the extent of several columns
in next Sunday's paper) will bring them in as
churchwardens next year.

All this was strictly after the pattern of
the real original, and so are the whole of our
Vestry's proceedings. In all their debates,
they are laudably imitative of the windy and
wordy slang of the real original, and of nothing
that is better in it. They have headstrong
party animosities, without any reference to
the merits of questions; they tack a surprising
amount of debate to a very little business;
they set more store by forms than they do by
substances:—all very like the real original!
It has been doubted in our borough whether