place also, on equally good authority, in black
and white, a few hints of what the correct principles
of decoration are in each class of ornamental
art. I could have cried, sir. I was
ashamed of the pattern of my own trowsers,
for I saw a piece of them hung up there as
a horror. I dared not pull out my pocket
handkerchief while any one was by, lest I
should be seen dabbing the perspiration from
my forehead with a wreath of coral. I saw
it all; when I went home I found that I
had been living among horrors up to that
hour. The paper in my parlour contains four
kinds of bird of paradise, besides bridges and
pagodas.

As for the spaniel that Marie has worked
in Berlin wool, to sit upon while she plays the
popular song of " O, am I not happy," I know
what they would say about that at Marlborough
House. If I could afford to buy
another, I would pack off as a present to the
gentlemen of the Museum in Pall Mall,
as a choice horror my wife's best gown;
but I must wait, and bide my time. As old
horrors wear out, I shall replace them according
to Correct Principles of Taste. Whenever
any new thing is to be bought, since it
will cost no more to have a thing in right
taste than in wrong, I mean to be particular
about the choosing of it. Moreover, to make all
secure, I shall lose no time in giving Mrs.
and Miss Crumpet an hour or two of the
horrors in Pall Mall, after which I shall persuade
each of them to pay two or three visits
to the Museum there, and spend two or three
sixpences saved from the pastry-cook's upon
the education of another kind of taste. I
mean also to persuade all my friends—especially
those who have houses to fit up and
furnish—to go to the same place; for as
the world wears now, in town or country,
house or street, I am a haunted man, molested
in my peace by horrid sights, which follow
one another almost without intermission. A
person with my present correct principles of
taste is naturally shocked every hour of his
life in London.

One of my best friends and town customers
is Mr. Martin Frippy, a young man of good
fortune recently married, whom five weeks
ago I regarded as an extremely elegant and
tasteful gentleman. He knew that I had that
opinion of him, and he liked me for it, condescending
often to consult my opinion upon
things that I admired. Two days ago he
entered my counting-house in a sudden way,
and took me so much by surprise that I was
compelled to ejaculate " Goodness gracious!"
for his attire was literally demoniacal. I believe
Zamiel, in Der Freischutz, wears a suit
of red, by which means he fails to produce
any great effect, for there is nothing horrible
in a suit of clothes all of one colour, and that
colour a warm and pleasant one. Mr. Frippy
I consider to have succeeded much more satisfactorily
in dressing like a fiend. He wore
check trowsers of a large and distinct pattern,
so that on each leg there were six black garters;
and there were three belts of colour round his
body. His waistcoat was buttoned with half
a dozen studs of horses, and a large pin was
stuck through the face of an opera girl who
danced upon the bosom of his shirt. On the
head of the pin there was a jockey riding at
full speed. Mr. Frippy wore a black tie,
which, stretching abroad on each side like a
transverse beam, formed a cross in combination
with the upright line of his body. On
the day to which I allude, he had on a black
frock coat, and a mourning band over his
white hat, in allusion to a great historical
event then on the point of coming off.

"Now," says he, " Crumpet, I promised
my wife that I would take you home with
me. We've just put the last touch to our
furnishing, and you must come and dine and
wish us joy." Now, I had dined in town at
half-past one, but, as a citizen of London, I
like dining twice a day. Mr. and Mrs.
Frippy, who live at Stockwell, are very
good friends, and my woman-folk, who had
gone that morning, as I knew, to call on
Mrs. F. had been detained, and were expecting
me at Stockwell, as I was now informed.
"I should like your opinion, Crumpet, on a
thing or two about the house—I know your
taste was always very good," (O miserable
me; for I, too, had worn horizontal bars upon
my trousers,) " and I should like you to run
down with me at once, if you have time to
spare, so that we may look over the rooms
while it is light."

"Mr. Frippy, sir," I replied, " I shall be
only too happy." So I locked up my safe,
and we went out and took a Clapham omnibus
from Gracechurch Street, which set us down
at Stockwell Green at about a quarter before
four o'clock. During the five minutes spent
in walking to the house I delivered myself
candidly of some part of the agonies I had
been suffering, as I sat opposite to my friend
in the omnibus. "Mr. Frippy, sir," I said,
"those trousers are beasts."

"My dear fellow," he replied, " what is the
matter with them?"

"That shirt's a hideous rag."

"You use strong language, Mr. Crumpet.
Justify yourself."

I apologized for my wrath. I explained
how I had come by correct principles of taste,
and how in the freshness of my zeal my feelings
were perpetually outraged; how my own
home had become a houseful of horrors; and
how I felt disposed to preach a great crusade
for the maintenance of my new principles. Mr.
Frippy enjoyed my distraction very much,
and clapped me on the back, saying, that it
my principles were sound he was not afraid
to let them be applied to anything with
which he had surrounded himself at Clamborazo
Villa. What had I to say against
check trousers—to begin with his immediate
surroundings?

I "Mr. Frippy, sir," I replied, one correct