yellow flowers, and I knew what I had
learnt at Marlborough House of the impropriety
of putting elaborate patterns—to say
nothing of direct imitations of Nature—on
that part of a plate or tray which is intended
to be covered. I took wine with Mr.
Frippy out of a glass, of which the bowl
was cut to the destruction of all elegance of
outline; but I said nothing of that. I had
beer poured for me out of a jug representing
the trunk of a tree, with bacchanals and
grapes imitated, out of all proportion, round
about it; a jug so glaringly ugly in its outline,
that when I saw it over rny shoulder as I
put my glass round for some beer, I almost
shrieked. I poured water for Mrs. Frippy
out of a glass jug upon the table, and, to do
so, had to put my hand upon the body of a
snake, so that I was reminded of the late
horrid affair of the cobra. Light was dispensed
to us from an expensive camphine
lamp, to which Polly felt quite safe in calling
my attention.

"Is it not chaste, papa?"

"It strongly resembles one that I have seen
in—in—another place. I could characterise
it by quoting a few lines from the Catalogue
of the Museum of Or—"

"Nonsense, papa, how tedious you are, to
be always quoting." I said nothing, but
repeated the passage to myself for my own
relief. " ' This glittering article is of French
manufacture, and in all its parts, without
exception, illustrates some false principle. Its
general constructive line is bad—the heavy
top totters upon an unsubstantial base: it
rests upon the points of leaves which seem
ready to give way under the load; these
leaves are direct but bad imitations of nature.
The porcelain vessel for holding the oil, with
its coarse gilding, affects to look like metal;
the upper portion of the metal work is
entirely out of scale with the lower.'"

At tea-time it was speak or die with me,
but I continued to take muffin convulsively;
with my eyes, as I fear, rolling in the direction
of the tray. I must have been very near
the last gasp when Frippy came near
enough for me to catch him by the button.
I made him sit down by me and whispered in
his ear. "That tray with a bit of one of
Landseer's pictures on it, you will find to
correspond with the seventy-ninth item in
the Catalogue of Horrors, at which you will
find these observations. It is 'An example
of popular but vulgar taste, of a low character,
presenting numerous features which the
student should carefully avoid:—First, The
centre is the piracy of a picture; Second,
The picture, on which most labour has been
bestowed, is thrown away. It is wrong to
hide a picture by putting a teapot upon it: if
a picture is wanted it should be placed where
it can be seen, and will not be destroyed by
use; Third, The scroll lines of the ornament,
nstead of following the form, are directly
opposed to it, and are scattered, as if by
chance, anywhere; Fourth, The glitter of the
mother-of-pearl is the most prominent feature
of the whole, and, being spread about,
creates the impression that the article is
slopped with water, or—' " finishing my
cup of tea just at that time, I dropped my
cup and saucer—to their utter destruction, I
scarcely regret to say—with a cry of agony—

"Papa, papa, what is the matter? " cried
my child; and my wife ran to me, and Mrs.
Frippy, for I had fallen back in my chair
almost deprived of reason.

"A but—" I gasped.

"But what, my dear?" asked my wife.

"Butter—fly—inside my cup! Horr—
horr—horr—horr—ri—ble!"

I was taken home in a cab. Frippy
whispered to me in a soothing manner, as he
saw me down his stairs and buttoned my
coat for me in his hall,

"My dear Crumpet, you have picked up
some wholesome views, but you have swallowed
them too eagerly, and choked yourself.
I shall go where you have been, and take the
lessons you have taken; but I shall not bolt
them in a lump as you have done, and get a
nightmare for my trouble; I shall discuss
them in a reflective way, and leave them
to be quietly digested: after which I have
no doubt they will do me good. A little
precise knowledge of some true principles of
design is wanted just now, quite as much by
manufacturers as by the public. The schools
of design connected with that department of
Practical Art and its Museum in Pall Mall
will lead, I have no doubt, to great improvement
hereafter; and I much like the idea of
the Chamber of Horrors that you speak of,
backed, as it is, by an instructive catalogue.
But, trust me, Crumpet, I shall not get myself,
as you have done, into a state of mental
apoplexy. We say in this country that there's
no accounting for tastes, and it will be many
years before mere abstract principles of choice
in ornament can become familiar—I will not
say to us, but to our children. In the meantime
we must live happily in the endurance of worse
daily sights than check trousers and clumsy
paper-hangings. Pork is an excellent and
nutritious meat, my dear Crumpet; but the
whole Hog and nothing but the whole Hog—
on any terms—for anybody's dinner—is a
little indigestible."

IMPERIAL ANECDOTES.

NAPOLEON the Great—by comparison—
said of his two wives; the faithful one whom
he abandoned, and the Imperial one who cost
him his Imperial crown: " I have occupied
myself considerably, during my life, with two
women, the one all art and grace, the other
all innocence and simple nature, and each had
her value. The first, at all periods of her life,
was mistress of every description of seductive
and agreeable quality: it would have been
impossible to surprise her in an unguarded