petition had travelled upward, paying toll
as it passed, from the peon to "The
Presence;" and even when the decree was
pronounced, its speedy execution, or its boundless
delay, would be regulated by the means of
plaintiff or defendant to fee the officers
entrusted with the fulfilment of its provisions.

When we sprang into our saddles for a ride
across country in the evening, Jumps
remarked, "This day is the sample of
tomorrow, and to-morrow will be the duplicate
of to-day. You may conceive what a
monstrous amount of injustice I cannot help
committing under such a system. Yet the
system must continue, until the door is
opened wide to the better classes of natives.
Give them, in promotion to the highest
offices, a motive for integrity—reform the
Hindoo and the Hindoo character by
removing the broad distinction between the
European conqueror and the native subject;
make their interests identical with ours, and
they will become just administrators of the
law, and originators of a vigilant and honest
police. Add to this, railways and roads;
increase the facilities of control; abate the
land tax; and improve the pay of all classes
of officers, and a Cutcherry will cease to be
the temple where justice is mocked, and
where human nature is degraded."

     MORE MODERN MUNCHAUSENS.

A SOUTH German, writing in an Augsburg
paper (he means well in the main, and we
will not give his name—because we do not
know it) tells us of several things about our
great country of which we were ignorant;
notwithstanding—or perhaps for the reason
—that we have lived in it all our life.

Like all Germans he is great at philosophical
deductions; and, because the chance
plebeian in London seems to have laughed
at his moustache (an ornament which he says
excites in London as much public attention
as a procession of camels and elephants in the
heart of Bavaria), he is struck with the
"innate conservative instinct of the English
national character." Some Italians assisted
him in making a sensation: "We were in an
omnibus," he says, "and all classes, from the
peeress and her daughter taking an airing in
Hyde Park, to the lady's maid at the windows
of the mansions of Hyde Park Gardens, were
equally unreserved in expressing their
astonishment at the 'fur.' The maid (for
English ladies never look out of a window;
and although I am much about town, and
familiar with all its features, I have never
seen anything lady-like looking out of a
window)—the maid, I say, made a grimace,
while the disgust of the peeress was expressed
by a glance of pity, mixed with alarm."

The exception to the great rule of
conservatism in England (according to the writer)
is when there arises a question of money—to
procure which, "an Englishman is open to
innovations, however hostile he may be to
foreigners and foreign habits in the affairs of
social life." In all other respects the Englishman
is the Chinaman of Europe; and clings
to institutions and habits thousands of years
old. The South German cannot understand
why our coats have no loops to hang them
up by (for who ever saw such a thing?),
why our windows want wings, our
inkstands sand-boxes, and our dinners the
dessert. He complains too of the English
behaviour in respect of mourning. We carry
our mockery of woe to the extent, not
only of black stays (which he seems to have
met with in a mourning warehouse), but also
of widows' caps made in a certain manner to
indicate that the lady is open to another
engagement. Further, that in religion the
English are only decorous hypocrites; with
regard to morals, that the prudery of the
women "is put out of countenance by the
lowness of their dresses;" and that the Germans,
besides being more religious and more moral,
are, as far as manners are concerned,
"certainly less servile, though more polite."

The English ladies do not seem to have
treated the countryman of Werther with
great distinction, for he is particularly severe
upon them. English women are frequently
drunk, and a German can have no "idea of
the want of regard which is generally shown
to the female sex." Their toilette is the very
ideal of ugliness and bad taste; for "the
flowers in the bonnets of the most lady-like
ladies in the drive of Hyde Park, would
suffice for the supper of a cow and two innocent
calves, provided the said flowers were real,
and not artificial flowers."

In the dress of the English ladies, it appears,
according to this authority, the most violent
combinations of colours beggar all description.
The Berlin work on the Continent is especially
made to meet the extravagance of British
tastes. The "plaid" is the only elegant
article of dress that England produces, and the
fact that it is scarcely ever worn in London
is a convincing proof of how little it is appreciated.
It is most unfortunate too for English
ladies that the German does not like their
mouths nor their eye-brows; and complains
that they bring all their "back hair" to the
front to make a superficial show; and that
what is left of the "back hair" in question is
puffed up with "flowers, ribbons, and lace."
This unholy intruder into sacred mysteries
also objects to tight lacing (it is really
impossible to please him); and in paying a
delicate compliment (his solitary one) to the
English complexion, he makes the gratifying
admission that its beauty almost excuses the
eternal low dresses, which, however, he never
will consent wholly to excuse.

English gentlemen having no "back hair"
(in a technical and lady-like sense), and nobody
caring particularly what they wear or how
they wear it, our impartial friend finds other
grounds of complaint for their benefit.