plundering—unless, indeed, the Collector were
to be on his feet all day, which was out of
the question—and therefore it was but right
that the scoundrels should be made to pay
for their rascality. As to its being safe, he
should like to catch anybody attempting an
exposé—such a thing was too insane to be
thought of. Besides, any such matter would
be referred to the Hooghly Board of Revenue,
composed of men who had all of them been
sub-collectors in their day; and of this the
natives were quite aware.

My career at Luckybad was unruffled by
any magisterial duties. The revenue received
my undivided attention for fully eighteen
months. I forget how many hundreds of
defaulting Ryots I ejected from their land in
that time; but there were a great many. The
lazy rascals would not pay the Zemindars
their rent, who were in consequence unable
to meet our demands on them. It was
singular, though, that these Zemindars,
although they declared they could not get in their
dues, were constantly becoming more opulent;
whilst the natives, who they said never paid
them, became poorer every season. I never
could understand this.

My next move was most unexpected. I
was hoisted over the heads of two or three
before me in seniority, and made a Collector
outright, fully four years sooner than I was
entitled to the step. The mystery was cleared
up some months afterwards, on my hearing
that my father had been returned Member
for a borough in the west of England. From
this time my promotion was rapid and regular.
I was moved upwards from one good post
to another, until one fine day I was informed
that a seat at the Hooghly Board of Revenue
was at my disposal. This brought me once
more into regular civilised life; and with
uncommonly frequent opportunities of having
a shake at the Pagoda Tree. Nothing had
occurred of late years to give me the least
trouble, excepting always those confounded
Ryots, and one affair whilst I was in the
Muzzypoor district. Some wild speculative
interlopers had formed the insane idea of
introducing railways into the East, and had bored
the Company for all sorts of indulgences and
assistance—as though we were not busy
enough with our land tax, and our opium
monopoly, and our wars.

These railway fellows were kept at bay as
long as possible, one letter having remained
two years unanswered; but at length
something had to be done. Assistance was
promised in a variety of ways, and official
letters were addressed to the several
Collectors of districts, directing them to afford
every facility and information in their power
to those undertakings. I received one of
these circulars, and with it a "private and
confidential" communication, informing me
that I was only to act with the most official
formality and to throw every impediment in
my power in the way of the railway.
Fifteen years have elapsed since the first efforts
were made; and last month the first fifteen
miles of Indian railway were opened, being
at the rate of a mile a year. People in
England are amazed at this snail's progress, and
set it all down to the natural difficulties of
the country; for the ignorant know nothing
of the natural difficulties of a "private and
confidential." A significant and instructive
volume might be formed of these confidential
communications.

Fairly established in the luxurious city of
Hooghly; received into a high family, with
little work on my hands; I had ample time to
attend to the Pagoda Tree, as well as to balls,
dinners, and other entertainments. My
Banian was quickly paid off; for interest
at twelve per cent became an ugly addition
to my old debt. My account in the Government
bank crept up rapidly. I avoided
all dabblings in joint-stockery, which had
ruined so many of my friends, reserving my
attention and my own funds for a far more
profitable investment.

A near relation was then a member of the
Direction at home; and, from him I gathered,
from time to time, advices as to the Government
movements in advances against goods,
and the rate of exchange which would be
fixed for their next operation. Being in
possession of this information a fortnight,
and sometimes a month, before any public
intimation of the facts was given, I was
enabled, through a friend, to invest largely in
bills whenever a rise was certain to take
place. The exchange was often in this way
run up suddenly a penny or more in the
rupee; giving a profit of several thousand pounds
in one month. The results of five or six
years' operations in this way, added to other
pulls at the Pagoda Tree, have enabled me to
return to my native land, a comparatively
young and a wealthy man.

I am now in "the House." I am most
eloquent in my defence of all existing
institutions, and paint in warm and glowing
language the dangers of innovation of any
kind. When the Company is attacked, I
point to our Blue Books as our proud
justification. If the Service be disparaged, I
content myself with asking to be informed
where there is to be found such another
Service. I defend my own motives, though
no one has impugned them, and vindicate
that integrity which none have questioned.
I express humble thankfulness for the
prosperity which it has pleased God to shower
on me; and, trusting that, with the blessing
of Providence, we may long be permitted
to rule the destinies of millions of our
distant fellow-creatures, to their happiness
and our own national glory, I sit down
amidst loud and prolonged cheers, with a
confused vision flitting across my brain of my
old Sheristadar at Bogglepoor, of the opium,
and salt inspector of Luckybad, and of a long
chain of my Hooghly exchange calculations;