as Goldsmith says of a mountain, storms
perpetually blowing at the basement, but eternal
sunshine on the upper story. We dined
daily at home, had every meal well served,
the landlady smiled graciously, and everything
was kept unexceptionably clean. I
had no notes from Mrs. Panther further than
her weekly bill; and that was quite
sufficient.

There is a worm in every bud; there is a
something to canker joy in every lodging.
The weekly bill was a little more than quite
sufficient. I complained twice only of the
dearness of the market in which my provisions
appeared to have been bought. I thought
my complaints, mildly expressed, justifiable.
They arose in this way. On our way home
from the theatre one night we passed a
greengrocer's shop, and I suggested to my
nephew that we might like a cucumber for
supper. Wholesome or not, we often had a
cucumber, but as there would be none for us
that night unless we took one home, I bought
a cucumber and put it in my pocket. It cost
one penny. Was I to blame if it occurred to
to me that for cucumbers of the same size I
had been paying Mrs. Panther fivepence?
There were two such items in my bill on the
succeeding Saturday. Only one course was
open to me. I told Mrs. Panther that I
feared she was not sharp enough to protect
herself against the impositions of the tradespeople.
I told her that the price of such
cucumbers as she procured for fivepence was
a penny in the adjoining street, and
to her my experience upon the subject.
She replied that she had always been a
very bad market-woman, that she bought
of a greengrocer who came with a cart, and
that she herself had often thought his
vegetables very dear. She certainly would speak
to him. Her manner was benignant in the
extreme. There was no more to be said on
the subject.

I made another stand upon the subject of
puddings. It appeared to me curious that
every pudding, fruit pudding, bread or other
pudding, made of a small size, to be eaten by
two persons, should be of the same price, and
that price always a shilling; except in the
case of a small rice pudding which might cost
threepence less, and a plum pudding which
cost sixpence more. It occurred to me that
four or five apples and a little flour were dear
at a shilling. I therefore expressed one
Saturday to Mrs. Panther my desire that instead
of making me an independent charge for
every pudding, she would buy on my account
a little flour, and purchase other materials as
they were wanted, charging me for them
only, since the additional charge for any skill
that might be thrown into the pudding as a
manufactured article was properly included
in the rent. She replied that she designed
nothing else than to charge her actual
disbursements, and should be very happy to
adopt my plan. Thenceforward such items
in my bill ceased to be read—"Apple pudding,
one shilling," and became as follows:—
"Flour, threepence; suet, threepence; apples,
fivepence; spice, one penny." My happiness
was then supposed to have been made
complete. Against the fact that either five or
six shillings a week was a high price to pay
for the coaling of one small grate, since I could
not, even with the aid of a Suffolk poker,
burn in one little room a ton of coals per
month, I made no protest whatever. I
allowed a despotism to be exercised over my
pocket. It was the condition of existence at
those lodgings. I fulfilled that condition,
and was for the time regarded as a model
lodger. I submitted to my fate with the
more readiness because I had at that time no
leisure or inclination for any extra trouble.
I was on the point of being married to Miss
Mannacrop. As the eventful time drew
near I found that Mrs. Panther would be
unable to supply the additional accommodations
necessary, and I had a doubt that she was
unwilling to incur the trouble of educating a
young lady who might come to town with
country notions of the price of cucumbers
and apples.

I had resolved to marry into lodgings, and
the increase of my wants impelled me
therefore to another hunt after apartments
I wanted four rooms, and desired, if
possible, not to pay more for them than a
guinea and a half a week. I knocked at more
than fifty doors, and answered several
advertisements. It became evident that there was
risk incurred by stating definitely our
objections to those lodgings, of which our first
impression was unfavourable. In one house
my nephew, with the heedlessness of
consequences proper to youth, expressed his
opinion that the rooms were not good
enough, and commented especially upon the
extreme narrowness of the stairs. He might
as well have dashed his fist into a fifty-gallon
vinegar bottle; we were swept down the
stairs and down the door-steps by a torrent
of acidity. The landlady, whose lodgers
we were not to be, had never heard such an
objection made before in her life. The
staircase seemed to be the tender point with her.
She never before knew a gentleman to say
that her stairs were narrow. Our hats were
nearly blown off by the wind of the street
door as she banged it furiously at our backs,
as though she would if she could have hurled
it after us.

Though what we required was more easily
to be had for three guineas than for a guinea
and a half, we did at last, by answering an
advertisement in the Times, obtain two floors
in the house of a solicitor in a leading
thoroughfare near one of the parks. We
had a couple of lofty drawing-rooms, rather
bare as to furniture, but decidedly respectable,
and the bedrooms corresponding to
them overhead. They were let in good faith
for a guinea and a half weekly, with the