whiskered relative, nor was it very easy to
make him out, even when his position had
been indicated by the keeper. His cage was
very dark, and he himself so black that I
could only ascertain the fact of his being the
very smallest of the monkey tribe, with a tail
almost three times the length of his body.
He did not seem to be reconciled to his new
abode. Very different in that respect from
the white monkey, who, as I passed him on
my way out, was drinking water out of a
tumbler with the most intense satisfaction;
he held the glass so well to his lips, that
when he had finished his draught I fully
expected him to go through the hip, hip,
hurray! with one cheer more, and left the
Gardens disappointed at his not having
done so.

ARMY INTERPRETERS.

A FEW refreshing anecdotes illustrative of
the high standard of capacity attained by
our army interpreters in Turkey are now
in brisk circulation, and supply an unfailing
fund of entertainment at the dinner
tables of Sebastopol and elsewhere. I
have been favoured with a few which
have recently made the most agreeable
sensation, and I will proceed to transcribe
them.

A band of worthy Mahomedans recently
fell in with a portion of the British army.
It was not a prudent thing for them to do; but
being Turks they relied on the general report
about a recent friendship having sprung up
between their nation and ours, which may
be true; unluckily, however, they interpreted
this report according to their own ideas, and
believed our friendship for them to be based
upon a more intimate acquaintance than it
turned out to be. In consequence of this
erroneous supposition on their parts they
advanced to meet the portion of the British
army abovementioned with the utmost confidence
and cordiality. What then was their
horror at being mistaken for Russians, and
promptly made prisoners, in spite of their
most energetic remonstrances! It appeared
on subsequent inquiry that these stupid
people actually could not speak English, and
therefore the army interpreter present could
not make out what they meant, and naturally
imagined that their noisy expostulations
were intended for a defiance of the banner
under which he had the happiness (and
emoluments) of serving. He stated this conviction
on his part; and the improper
spirit thus reported to exist was promptly
put down in the manner we have related.
The prisoners thus captured remained some
time under confinement before their nationality
and amicable intentions were made
known by accident to their captors, who of
course were not a little annoyed at thus
losing a subject of glorification which had
already formed the matter of several
painfully-spelled despatches forwarded to
headquarters. However, the affair occasioned a
good deal of sparkling conversation, and gave
birth to a joke of Cornet Lord Martingale's,
which has quite made his reputation as a wit
in the aristocratic regiment to which he
belongs. "We always shut up turkeys
towards Christmas," said his lordship; "it
makes them fatter for killing." The point of
the young peer's jest, however, was blunted
by the haggard appearance of the prisoners,
who having had nothing but salt pork
served to them, had supported themselves
merely on the bread which was given
with it, according to a regulation which
the interpreter had a dim idea was somehow
or other connected with their religious
tenets.

Another anecdote which has tended to
enliven the monotony of the besieged, has
been good-naturedly afforded them by the
capture of an English officer's groom, a Turk
from Broussa. He had been so silly as to
stray from his master; and shortly afterwards,
falling in with some British soldiers, was
rather roughly handled; and being taken to
the camp, he was thence sent up to
Constantinople and lodged in the bagnio,
where he now is. The gist of this joke is,
that the absurd fellow not only could not
speak English, but absolutely did not know a
word of French, which might have saved
him in the present case at once. The
interpreter was therefore naturally of opinion
that the man was a Russian spy, or some
person equally disreputable. There is an
idle story that the man has been induced
by some intriguing and mischievous person
to set up a preposterous claim for
indemnity, and also for some arrears of
wages which appear to have been due to
him at the time of his capture. We trust,
however, that so disagreeable an incident
will not turn up to check the cheerful
flow of merriment the story has hitherto
occasioned, both among besiegers and besieged.

While gossiping on subjects so grateful
to our national feelings, and creditable to our
sympathies with the brave men to whom we
are opposed, I cannot refrain from adverting
to a lively little story which has also tended
much to raise the spirits of our allies, and
heighten the warm feelings of affection with
which we are naturally regarded by the
Turks.

During a recent engagement, it is
pleasantly said that the followers of the Prophet
displayed rather unusual agility in running
away. On being rallied on this subject the
following day, the Turkish commander stated
that he had retreated so precipitately in
consequence of the orders which had been
conveyed to him, by signs, through an officer
who appeared to have been despatched to
him in great haste for that purpose. He had