unfortunately, he knew no more about the matter
than myself.

"But, ' embark with the utmost dispatch.'
What does that mean, general?" I urged.

"Why, as I have had the same order for
about forty days, I fancy it means nothing
in particular."

"When we do go, sir, may I ask the station
we shall sail to, the depot, the—?"

"Certainly, Captain Snooks," interposed
the general, blandly, "certainly, ask whatever
you please; but I regret that it is not in my
power to give you an answer."

"And the uniform?" I suggested; "at least
I had better get my things ready for embarcation."

"Really," said the general, as he bowed
me elegantly to the door, "really I have not
the faintest conception of what uniform will
be worn by the Native Abyssinian Camel-
troop Contingent. Perhaps a fancy dress,
according to our private tastes and favourite
colours. Perhaps— anything!"

In despair, and reflecting that, as the
authorities were all at sea, the Admiralty was
as good an office to apply to as any other, I
went there. Thank goodness! A ship had
been ordered round to Wightmouth, to carry
the Camel-troops and a militia regiment;
and I had better go down there to meet it.

"Our destination, then," said I, "is —?"
But here, it seemed, my unexpected success
had rendered me over-sanguine; for the clerk
motioned me to the office-door, with "We
haven't the smallest idea, sir." That is the
impression I have ever since retained of
official people: "they haven't the smallest
idea, sir."

Who should I find at Wightmouth but my
old friend Malines, commanding the Isle-of-
Dogs Volunteer Corps, the very regiment
that was to accompany us part of our voyage
to Wherever-it-was. It was to take him and
his host to a real place, and drop us at Malta
on the way, to be taken on to Corfu by
another vessel. Malines is an excellent
colonel. His regiment volunteered about the
first, and has been long since in the highest
state of discipline, and ready to embark at a
day's notice. The Mull Militia, quartered
in the same street, had also volunteered;
but they were mostly raw recruits; were
without full accoutrements, and had no
orders to hold themselves in readiness to
start, as the Isle-of-Dogs had.

I told Malines my adventures; and he said
my troubles were nothing to what he had
suffered in trying to get a ship sent down for
his corps. He had been referred from one
department to another until quite bewildered;
and being rather choleric, had sworn most
vigorously at the highest dignitaries. What
in the colonel was "impatience," in my case
would have been "rank blasphemy," and
would have deprived me of my command in
the Camel-troop; but certainly in re Malines,
it seemed to have had a beneficial effect; and
he had been promised his ship immediately.
By reason of a number of ladies accompanying
the regiment, it was, moreover, to be a swift
and roomy steamer. The vessel had been
signalled, and, after a little refitting in the
dockyard, was to sail in about a week. In
the meantime, and awaiting the final official
order, the mess was broken up, and the
officers emigrated to the Vulture Hotel.
There, too, I established myself, at an expense
I could ill afford; but still I heard no breath
of news of the unfortunate N. A. C. I began
to be fidgety as to whether the Bombay might
not yet leave us, after all— a Contingent
remainder. Suddenly into my rooms burst
Malines, purple with passion:

"Through some confounded devilry, that
Mull regiment has got our order, and is off in
thirty-six hours."

It was perfectly true. Many Mullites had
no shako; many, no coatees. The general,
who had not even inspected them previously,
found a whole company standing apart in
their barrack-yard undrilled, undressed,—
unfit for departure altogether. Nevertheless,
at the appointed hour, with drums beating
and colours flying, the Mull Militia embarked
in the Bombay: that very ship which had been
designed for the accommodation of the wives
of the I. O. D. M., and the N. A. C. Contingent.
The M. M, didn't take their ladies at all, and
marched on board, playing "the girls we left
behind us," triumphantly.

A day or two afterwards, a dingy transport,
quite incompetent to carry half Malines'
regiment, let alone the Contingent— about
whose existence I began to have a hideous
doubt— was sent round to us from Plymouth,
ran ashore upon the beach, was derided
by the townspeople; and then was ordered
back again— I think with coals. I have got
about three pounds left, to pay the landlord
of the Vulture for three weeks' board and
lodging. My destination is as likely to be
Botany Bay as anywhere else. The Isle-of-
Dogs Militia go about in a vacant manner,
saying "they don't know" to every question
that is asked of them. For my part, I keep
my written appointment about my person,
and exhibit it, when interrogated, with a
bitter laugh. Having tried every other office,
I now try the office of Household Words.

THE UNKNOWN GRAVE.

No name to bid us know
   Who rests below,
No word of death or birth,
   Only the grasses wave,
Over a mound of earth,
   Over a nameless grave.

Did this poor wandering heart
   In pain depart?
Longing, but all too late,
   For the calm home again,
Where patient watchers wait,
   And still will wait in vain.