often took it out to look at the hair. Mary's
and Harry's had been tied in a knot long ago,
and the boy had added my initial as a loop at
the top. it was valuable, too, for the case
was of gold, and there were large real pearls
all round the rim. It was detected round my
neck at the bathing, and got noised all through
the school; and it happened one day when I
was in the water four or five of the biggest
boys kept me engaged and guarded me from
making my way to the bank, and when at
last I reached the place where my clothes
were lying, the locket was gone. I could not
tell who had taken it. I spoke to the master,
and he quoted many texts from Scripture
against evil speakers and false accusers. He
found out that my suspicions rested on Grubb—
he said Grubb was an honour to the school,
had noble blood in his veins, and if I could
not substantiate my horrible accusation he
would consider whether I should not be
publicly expelled. On this I begged to withdraw
suspicions and accusation, and to be
allowed to submit to the loss. He paused for
some time, but at last agreed to pass over my
conduct, as a knowledge of such an unchristian
disposition might injure my prospects in life.
Shortly after that he was made a bishop in
consideration of his skill in Greek quantities,
and I had to go to another school. My
prospects in life, of which the bishop had
been so considerate, did not appear to brighten,
though I was for a while delivered from the
tyranny of Grubb. But there are Grubbs at
all schools. I tried in vain to assert my
rights: I made my claims either at the wrong
time or in the wrong manner, so when my
relations and friends perceived that I derived
no benefit from their counsels, but rather
allowed every opportunity to slip by, they
determined to send me to the bar as a profession,
where if I did not struggle I must yield.
It was like forcing a man to swim by throwing
him into deep water. The plunges I made
excited laughter in others, and weariness in
myself; so I determined to live quietly on the
small income I possessed, and watch
the ocean and the tempest-tossed barks upon it
from the safe eminence of two hundred a-year.
"Foolish fellow," said one of my most intimate
friends, " to be satisfied with two hundred
a-year; you know nothing, my dear
Plastic, of the management of money—now,
that is what I have particularly studied all
my life—I will give you my advice, and you
may soon remove to Belgrave Square." How
kind! here was a practical man; he had been
educated as a civil engineer, then he turned
architect, then went into the corn trade, and
was a prodigious authority about railways
and other lucrative speculations. He came
to me in two days—

"Have you any money you can immediately
command?"

"Yes; I have two thousand pounds in the funds."

"That will exactly do; I belong to a
company for the manufacture of soap out of tallow
candles. It is secured by a patent. I myself
hold more shares than I can conveniently pay
the calls upon—hundreds are asking to be
allowed only a few: you shall have three
hundred and fifty—they will pay thirty per
cent., and you may safely increase your
expenditure by six hundred a year."

I bought a horse—the same friend had
three, and parted with one of them—which,
however, unfortunately became lame. I
thought of giving up my humble apartment,
as he said it was for the benefit of the company
that the partners should live in good parts of
the town: he got me elected director, with a
salary of two hundred a-year, and my gratitude
knew no bounds. He lived with his
aunt, and I presented her with a tea-service,
from Rundle and Bridge, with an allegorical
sculpture on the coffee pot, representing
Generosity pouring wealth from a cornucopia
into the lap of Friendship. I did several
other foolish things, and went down to the
committee room of the company in a clarence,
which I jobbed for three months, and even
had my crest—a sheep's head with its mouth
open—painted on the panel. How I despised
my injudicious advisers! Haven't I taken
care of myself? Haven't I got hold of time
by the forelock? I turned the tables upon
them, and gave them immense quantities of
advice. I advised the most pertinacious of
my counsellors—a Scotchman who was
connected with a Greek house in the City—to
join our company. The man was thunderstruck.
What! get advice from me! He
came to me,—"Ye're a bigger fule than
ever," he said: "how do ye think ony body
can mak' a profit by turnin' good can'les into
bad saip? The can'les is dearer than the
saip, and ye're just a prodigious ass!"

This turned out to be true. I lost all the
money I put into the concern, and paid a
little more to get a quittance from all
liabilities. But my friend was not abashed. He
said to me, "Your horse is lame—nobody can
perceive it till it has been ridden a mile or
two—he isn't worth ten pounds, but I have a
very silly friend from Devonshire, I daresay
he will give you fifty guineas—you're too
much a man of the world to refuse a good
offer!"

I said, "Certainly not; it would be strange
if, after all my experience, I wasn't a man of
the world."

So after that, when I spoke to him about
having sold me his shares in the candle-soap
patent, he said,—

"I have had great experience, sir; I am a
man of the world, as you were willing enough
to be about your old screw of a horse, only
the Devonshire spoony turned out to be a
man of the world, too."

There was nothing to be done, so I went
into humbler lodgings, gave up my club,
never took anybody's advice, and never was
asked by anybody for mine. But one day