to us, and, on our parts, my port became a
proverb and my daughters a toast. It was
'Blathers, come and take pot-luck," from
almost any neighbour I fell in with on my
walks; or, "Mr. Blathers, we see nothing of
your good wife and family," from the
archdeacon's lady, though we had been dining at
the Cloisters three times within the fortnight;
or "Lord and Lady Wapshaw have the——"
but, no; the forms of familiarity, through
which the high nobility communicate with
their intimates, should not be lightly quoted,
ln a word, then, I was a popular man and
"an accession to the county."

In the early spring time I began to feel the
country gentleman's first grief; it came over
with the swallows and, like them, never left my
roof. Two of my acquaintances—men I had
never esteemed as evil genii—rode over on an
April day to Longfield; Sir Chuffin Stumps
and Biffin Biffin of the Oaks; they were
unusually cordial—quite empressés, my wife
subsequently observed—to all of us, and after
luncheon they desired to have some conversation
with me in my study; that is the apartment
wherein I keep my Landed Gentry, my
stomach-pump (a capital thing to have in a
country-house), and my slippers, and thither
my two guests were ushered.

"It has always been the custom, my dear
Blathers." said the baronet, "for the tenant of
Longfield Hall to be the president of the
Nettleton Cricket-club; that we should offer, that
he should accept that honor, is due to his
position in the county" (and indeed there was
scarcely a flat piece of ground big enough to
play upon in all the district, except in my
paddock, I well know). "Lather, your
predecessor, was president; Singin was president
before him; the Longfields of Longfield
were presidents time out of mind; and you
—Blathers—you will be president now?"

"Of course you will," agreed Biffin.

"But, my dear sirs," said I, "what shall I
have to do?—what will be my duties,
my—"

"Do!—nothing at all," interrupted Sir
Chuffin Stumps, "positively nothing; you
have no duties, only privileges; let us have
your ground to play upon; dine with us on
Wednesdays in the tent, and on the great
match-days; give a crust of bread and a
shakedown to a swell from any long distance,
now and then; you sit at the head of the
festive board—your health is drunk continually—
you are appealed to upon all the nice
points of the game, and your decision is
final. It's a splendid post!"

"Splendid!" echoed Biffin.

"But I have not played at cricket for
this thirty years," I urged. "I don't know the
rules. I couldn't see the ball, if you were to
give me all creation. I'm as blind as a bat."

"Ha, ha, very good," laughed the baronet.
"A bat—d'ye see, Biffin,—a bat?
Blathers will do, depend upon it; he'll keep the
table in a roar. As for the game, Mr. President,
it's just what it used to be—round
instead of under, that's all; and they cut a
good deal oftener and stop much less,
perhaps, than they used to do."

"Dear me," said I, "then there's not so
many of them as there were, I suppose?"

"And as for near-sight," pursued Sir
Chuffin, "play in spectacles. Bumpshus, our
great wicket-keeper, he plays in spectacles;
Grogram, your vice-president, he plays in
spectacles; it's considered rather an advantage
than otherwise to play in spectacles."

"Certainly," echoed Biffin, " t's a great
advantage."

"So good-bye, Blathers," said both gentlemen
rising; "the first of May is our meeting
day, and the tent must be up and everything
arranged, of course, by that time: but
Grogram will write and let you know every
particular."

And that was how I was made P.N.C.C.,
almost without a struggle.

In the course of a week I received a letter
from Grogram, saying that there would be no
difficulty whatever about anything; he would
settle about the dining-tent, and the dressing-tent,
and the cooking-tent, and I should only
have the contracts for food and the wine-tasting
to manage; the hiring of a bowler, the cutting
and rolling of the grass. The coming
matches for the year—I should, of course,
arrange about myself; and I must be sure,
he wrote, to let all the members of the club
know of the day of meeting, and all the
playing members of every match-day, and to
dun Lord Wapshaw for his two years'-due
subscriptions, as the treasurer didn't like to—
with some other little matters; and, by the
bye, did I happen to have my cricket toggery
complete yet? as, if not, he (Grogram) could
let me have a registered belt almost for
nothing, because he had grown out of it, he
was sorry to say, himself; also some improved
galvanised india-rubber leg-guards, and some
tubular batting-gloves, and a catapult—
remarkably cheap. The postscript said, "of
course you will come out in flannels and
spike-soles."

I really thought when I first read this
letter that I should have died with anxiety.
I showed it to Mrs. Blathers, and she fairly
burst into tears, and it was hours before we
could either of us look our difficulties calmly
in the face. Flannels! I had at that
moment upon my person the only description
of flannel garment which I possessed—a
jerkin coming down no distance at all, and
not to be dreamt of as a reception-dress
to the club and half the county upon the
first of May; spike-soles I did happen to
have, being a skater, and set them out
accordingly; but what possible use a pair of
skates could be for cricket I could not
imagine. The rest of the things I sent to
Grogram for, who accommodated me with
them very good-naturedly for fifteen pounds
fifteen shillings. I put them all on—one