quotations, which made the friends of my lord
stare.

As to me, he investigated, in the most
paternal manner, my birth, education, plans,
and prospects, and ended by begging me to
make myself perfectly easy, as he would
undertake to obtain me a post which would
render me independent. At a ball at the
ambassador's, on our second interview, he
took me on one side to enquire whether I should
prefer the governorship of the Bolting Islands,
or deputy ranger of the Royal Bilberry
Forests ? I hinted that I was scarcely fit for
a colonial governor. But, putting both hands
on my shoulders, mysteriously smiling, he
assured me that a little experience on the
turf was the best possible probation for a
colonial "office." However, it was no
matter if I preferred the rangership. Sir
John being very busy with his musical
studies—his last fancy—Lord Bloom and I
became inseparable; we rode together, drove
together, dined together; his stud, his
servants, his opera box were at my service.
We posted to Rome together, and back, and
I became, in fact, a sort of unpaid secretary
to his lordship, transacting all his affairs at
an expense to myself, trifling in detail, but
accumulating as trifles will accumulate, where
a man has no income. His lordship never
by any chance seemed to suspect that he
put me to expense.

The race came off, and although in mounting
Blatherum bit out a piece of my boot, and
very nearly a mouthful of the calf of my leg,
I won it, was overwhelmed with thanks, and
made quite happy by hints of the Bilberry
Deputy Rangership; a house, a garden, the
run of the forest for two horses, three cows,
five score sheep, and a salary of six hundred
pounds a-year; beside perquisites of venison
and firewood.

At length official duties—the necessity of
signing his name—recalled Lord Bloom. I
was not sorry; my capital was getting very
low.

At Southampton, Hustings and I parted;
his last words being, "Stick to Bloom.
Bloom's not a bad fellow; an uncommon
pleasant fellow, but he's got an uncommon
short memory. So stick to him, old fellow.
If I can do anything for you I will. I only
wish you would take my advice, and get
japanned. The rector of Bargrove is dying.
They write me that he can't last out the
season. The gift's with me, and I'd present
you with all the pleasure in the world; a
good house just outside my park, and the
best cock-shooting in the county. Three
packs of hounds meet in the parish."

It was of no use. I was no more fit for the
church than the church was fit for me. So I
took lodgings—a sky-bedroom in St. James's;
breakfasted and lunched at my old club, the
Magnolia, and took a walk instead of dining
when I did not dine out. Of course I left a
card on Lord Bloom as soon as the Court
Circular told me that he was in town.
Weeks passed and no notice. At length
came a note with the well-known scrawl and
coat-of-arms. It requested me to breakfast
with his lordship, to meet Sir Peter Passport
precisely at a quarter past nine o'clock. His
lordship was always special and curious in
his appointments; if you were a minute
late, met you with his watch in his hand.
Now, as Sir Peter Passport held the seals
of an important office, I felt sure that some
appointment was about to be settled, and
I ran over in my mind all the possible
vacancies.

Punctual to a second, I reached Bloom
House in time to be shown into the
breakfast-room, where I waited for an hour. Then
his lordship appeared, but no Sir Peter; he
had been suddenly obliged to leave town. So
we breakfasted; and his lordship talked of
every imaginable subject in the most agreeable
manner; asked my opinion on the state
of parties, the last quarrel of the Bishop of
Torquay, the new novel, and the favourites
for the Leger, with an air of deference to my
superior judgment that was meant to be most
fascinating.

Breakfast came to an end; not a word
about my business. At length I referred to
the words in the invitation.

With his usual benevolent smile, Lord
Bloom said, "Oh, ah, yes! I am sorry Sir Peter
could not come. The fact is, that the Prince
of Polenta, a particular friend of ours, wants
a team of four horses selected, to drive in
hand in his carriage, on the course. You
remember the prince—a little dumpling of a
man with a red moustache, enormously rich?
They must be all of a colour, blacks with
grey or brown muzzles, not under sixteen
hands high, and must step well together. So I
told Sir Peter you were the very man to
select them—a first-rate judge of a horse.
Now, will you go down to Yorkshire first,
and see what you can do? You know Sir
Peter has immense influence, and it may be
an excellent introduction for you."

Like a fool, I went; and, at the end of three
months, after a most disgusting amount of
showing and bartering, examining and
returning, the team was collected. Next I had
to go down to Liverpool, and see it packed
off for Naples. In return I got a note of
thanks from Sir Peter, couched in terms that
might have been addressed to a dealer, and a
cheque for my expenses out of pocket. The
thanks were to Lord Bloom. From that
time to the end of the season Lord Bloom
never allowed me to be idle a day. Again I
was installed as honorary secretary. I
breakfasted with him, dined with him, and rode
with him; his toast-maker, his pine-merchant,
his lawyer, his architect, all found in me the
super me illabor; beside a host of poor
devils to whom he promised something, as
they said, for election and other services,
whom it was my duty to put off. Everything