3. That the young woman with the long
eyelashes be sent to the Magdalen until
further orders.

4. That every other Model be immediately
seized, veiled, and placed in solitary confinement.

5. That the fancy-dress establishment of
the Messrs. Nathan in Titchbourne street,
Haymarket, be razed to the ground, and the
stock in trade seized; and further, that all
slashed dresses of the period of Charles the
Second, all buff jerkins of the Commonwealth,
and all large boots of whatsoever description,
found in such stock, be publicly burnt, as
old and incorrigible offenders.

6. That the premises of the Messrs. Pratt
in Bond street, as being in the occupation of
the leaders of the Still-life Model Department,
be rigidly searched, and that all the old curiosity
shops in Wardour street and elsewhere be
likewise rigidly searched, and that all
offensively notorious property found therein be
brought away. That is to say: all steel-caps
and armour of whatsoever description, all large
spurs and spur-leathers, all bossy tankards,
all knobby drinking glasses, all ancient bottles
and jugs, all high-backed chairs, all twisted-legged
tables, all carpets, covers, and hangings,
all remarkable swords and daggers,
all strangely bound old books, and all
spinning wheels. (The last-named to be broken
on the spot.)

It may be objected by the scrupulous, that
the loss of property thus caused would fall
heavily on individuals, and would be a greater
punishment than could be justified, even by
the immense provocation the public has
received. My answer is, that my project is
based on principles of justice, and that I
therefore propose to compensate these persons
by paying the fair purchase-price of all the
articles seized.

For this purpose (and for another to be
presently mentioned), I propose that the
government be empowered to raise by the
issue of exchequer bills, a sum not exceeding
three millions sterling. Inasmuch as it would
be necessary to purchase of Messrs. Hunt
and Roskell, goldsmiths and jewellers of
New Bond Street, and likewise of Mr.
Hancock, goldsmith and jeweller of the same
place, various highly-exasperating tall cups
and covers wrought in precious metals, which
daily find their way into pictures, to the
persecution, terror, and exhaustion of the
public, my calculation is, that two millions of
the three would be sunk in the payments
indispensable to the public relief.

The remaining million to be devoted to
the two remaining objects now to be described.

Firstly, to the construction of a large
building (if no edifice sufficiently inconvenient
and hideous to serve a national purpose be
already in existence), in which the seized
property shall be deposited in strict seclusion
for ever. As the public, after its long and
terrible experience of the contents of this
dismal storehouse, will naturally shun it,
and as all good parents may confidently be
expected to teach their children in
awe-stricken whispers to avoid it, it would be
superfluous to take precautions against the
intrusion of any casual visitors. But, it will
be necessary (so touching is the constancy
and so enthralling the affection with which
painters cling to Models), to make it
capital for any professor of the art of
painting to be found in the Institution on
any pretence whatever; and to render it
incumbent on the judges of the land, receiving
proof of such offence according to the usual
laws of evidence, to sentence the offender to
death, without hope of mercy.

The east and west sides of this building to
be fitted up, each with its own sleeping
rooms, domestic offices, dining-hall, and
chapel. The east side to be called The Side
of the Male Models; the west side to be
called The Side of the Female Models. Every
preparation being completed for the reception
of these unhappy persons, hither would
be brought; from the Tower, the young man
with the large chest; from Greenwich
Hospital, the young man without the immaculate
legs; from the Magdalen, the young woman
with the long eyelashes. Hither too, would
be brought, all in close custody and heavily
veiled, the whole offending family of live
Models. Hither, a procession of hearses
would convey them in the dead of night; the
first hearse containing the aggravating
patriarch with the white beard, and the pious
grandmother with the veinous hands; the
last, containing the innocent but misguided
child who has long been accustomed to sit on
a cruelly knotty bench, and blow bubbles
from a pipe. From this place of seclusion
and expiation, they should never more be
permitted to come forth. And adapting an
idea from the eloquent pamphlet of Mr.
COMMISSIONER PHILLIPS on capital punishment,
I would have a gorgeous flag
perpetually waving from the apex of the roof,
on which should be inscribed, in mediaeval
characters, THE GRAVE OF THE MODELS.

But, still respecting the eternal principles
of justice, I would not confiscate the
money-earning opportunities of the socially
deceased. This brings me to the last object to
which the residue of the capital of three
millions should be appropriated. Assuming,
say the young man with the large chest, to
have been able to earn by that chest two
shillings an hour (I take that to be high, but
his chest is very large), for six hours a day
during six months of the year, that young
man's gains, in round numbers, would amount
to ninety pounds per annum. I would pay
that young man that income, and, though
civilly dead, he should retain the power of
disposing of his property by will. Neither
would I amputate the legs of that other
young man, without allowing him, besides, a
pension for their loss in the public service.