person he has to deal with, that he will even
go the length of asking a timid man, or a
youthful rider, to get outside and oblige an
invalid.

  Sometimes, a fetish is found in the shape of
a pair of very old, and very easy carpet slippers,
and woe upon any careless servant who
has inadvertently mislaid the fetish when it
takes this form.  No other slippers will do,
be they roomy as footbaths and soft as velvet.
Sometimes the fetish is a tooth-brush, sometimes
a hair-brush, sometimes a particular
comb.  Break, mislay, or destroy these things,
and the fetish worshipper becomes the fierce
avenger of his outraged idols.  He can think
of nothing but his lost or injured fetishes,
and his wrath descends in the shape of an
instant dismissal of the servants who have
been guilty of such sacrilegious carelessness.
Sometimes the fetish is a particular hat, a
particular pair of boots, a particular coat,
a particular walking-stick, or a particular
watch.  When the fetish garments decay, in
the common course of things, and become
unfit for the prying scrutiny of society, then
does the faithful worshipper make for them a
shrine far from the curious eyes of the economical
housewife, and the syren voice of the
Jew clothesman in the streets, where they
stand in sacred seclusion as hallowed remains
of the cherished wardrobe of the past.

  Sometimes the fetish is a China punchbowl,
a Wedgwood vase, a Sèvres dessert-plate,
or a tea-service.  If any man by accident
should injure any of these fetishes, let
him beware, for civilisation has its modes of
revenge, not less effective, because deliberate
and refined, than the rude, impulsive vengeance
of the despised African.  Ask for the
hand of the daughter of the worshipper whose
fetish punch-bowl you have just destroyed,
and meet with the refusal which your folly,
ignorance, and carelessness so justly merit.
Ask for a clerical living, or a Government
berth through the influence of the worshipper
whose Wedgwood vase you have just dashed
into a hundred pieces, and find that you have
for ever shut yourself out from all chance of
obtaining the object of your desires.  Smash
the Sèvres dessert-plate of your uncle, or the
tea-service of your aunt, and give up at
once all hopes of large legacies from either of
those fruitful sources of property.

  Sometimes the fetish is a small coin, a tester
of a remote period; sometimes a huge picture,
the pride and glory of a ducal palace.  Sometimes
it is a rare pamphlet, sometimes a
black-letter volume, sometimes a murky engraving,
with " Rembrandt fecit " scratched
across a stone or a felled tree in one of the
corners.  Sometimes the fetish is a square-headed
bull-dog, in the neighbourhood of
Lambeth, sometimes a bed of sturdy tulips in
the neighbourhood of Chiswick.  Sometimes
the fetish takes the form of a pigeon, circling
above the housetops in Bethnal-green, and
then the worshipper may be seen, half-discovered
on the roof of his dwelling, with a long,
thin stick in his hand, watching the skimming
of the sacred bird with eyes of devout admiration.
If any fetish worshipper of similar
tastes should succeed by decoys, as is not
unfrequently the case, in entrapping the fetish
pigeon of his brother worshipper, then is there
war from that hour between the two men.

  As we descend lower in the scale of society,
of course we find the standard of civilisation
sinking in proportion; thus, the restraints
which are respected in St. James's are totally
despised in Bethnal-green.  The two fetish
pigeon-worshippers, imitating unconsciously
the example of the untutored savage, are unable
to come to any satisfactory arrangement without
the aid of blows; and so we go on, from year
to year, with our little likes, our great antipathies,
our little weaknesses and our little
strength, our shallow doubts and our deep
convictions, our virtues and our crimes;
and possibly it may turn out, when the
great account is at length cast up, that
the petty history of one degree of latitude
and longitude does not differ very materially
from the petty history of another, and that
there is not a wonderful difference, after
all, between white and whitey-brown, and
black, red, pink, olive, blue and yellow men.

A PAIR OF SIAMESE KINGS.

  A VISIT to the stables of the royal elephants
at Bankok, the capital of Siam, is a sight
well worth wading for through the black
sea of mud, known as a royal road.  Sundry
sheds are roughly built of bamboo and unhewn
timber; these face the first king's
palace; but, in spite of their proximity to
royalty, they are kept in a most disgraceful
state, and seem to have been built without any
regard to order or convenience.  Some of the
elephants are magnificent fellows; others
comparatively small; all of them are patriots;
for, when we visited them, they expressed
great irritation at the sight of foreigners.  They
stamped and snorted.  The keepers advised
us to throw them some bundles of grass.
The grass is cut in lengths of about a foot
and a half, and is loosely tied in bundles of
about a foot thick, which the elephant, taking
up with his trunk, grasps firmly and beats
repeatedly against one of his fore-legs, in
order that insects may be shaken out.  Having
taken this precaution, he places the
bundle under one of his feet, and draws out
from it, wisp after wisp, to eat at his leisure.
The elephant goes through the business of
clearing his food from insects with an expression
of  " There! what do you think of
that? "  The keepers take the royal beasts
out for a swim in the river every morning;
and, when they return, each elephant walks
into his own stall and ties himself up.  Two
immense posts are fixed in each separate
stable, or stall; and to these are fastened
strong ropes, each arranged with a noose,