yeomen- porters, four state under- porters, and
ten night-porters. One first lamplighter, a
second lamplighter, seven assistant
lamplighters, a yeoman of the steward's room,
five assistants of the yeoman of the steward's
room, an usher of the servants' hall, three
assistants of the usher of the sei'vants' hall.
To complete this bewildering list, there is an
Hereditary Grand Almoner (honorary), Lord
High Almoner (honorary), yeoman secretary
of the almonry, one knight marshal and eight
marshalmen, ranger of Windsor home park,
ranger of Windsor great park, and deputy-
ranger of Windsor great park.

Scarcely recovered from these overwhelming
parasites of the Lord Steward's department,
we can imagine the bewildered monarch
wandering into another household province:
that of the Lord Chamberlain. There, he is
hustled by the Lord Chamberlain, the Vice-
Chamberlain, the comptroller of accounts,
and superintendent of the duties of the
department of the Lord Chamberlain, a chief
clerk, an inspector of accounts, three assistant
clerks, an office-porter, three office-messengers,
keeper of the privy-purse, secretary
to the keeper of the privy-purse. He has
next to acknowledge the curtseys of a mistress
of the robes, eight ladies of the bedchamber,
tight maids of honour, eight bedchamber
women, and an extra bedchamber woman;
then to endure the obeisances of a groom of
the robes, a clerk to the groom of the robes,
a messenger to the groom of the robes, and a
furrier to the groom of the robes. He is
next saluted by eight lords in waiting,
eight grooms in waiting to help the lords
in waiting, an extra groom in waiting, four
gentlemen ushers of the privy-chamber, four
gentlemen ushers, several daily waiters, an
assistant gentleman usher, four grooms of
the privy-chamber, eight gentlemen ushers,
quarterly waiters, an extra gentleman usher,
ten grooms of the great chamber, thirty-two
(honorary) gentlemen of the privy-chamber. A
master of the ceremonies, assistant master of
the ceremonies, a marshal of the ceremonies,
five pages of the back stairs, two state pages,
a page of the chambers, six pages of the
presence, and three pages' men to wait upon
the pages. Then come serjeants-at-arms: he
must have a night serjeant-at-arms, a Lord
Chancellor's serjeant-at-arms. House of
Commons' serjeants-at-arms, three kings of arms,
six heralds, four queen's messengers, one Lord
Chamberlain's messenger. He is further
troubled with three inspectors of palaces,
three carpet-men, nine housekeepers, three
linen-room women, three necessary women,
sixty housemaids, two strangers' attendants,
at Windsor Castle. When he goes to chapel
he encounters a dean of the Chapel Boyal,
a sub-dean, a chaplain, a clerk of the
queen's closet, three deputy-clerks, resident
chaplain in ordinary, a closet-keeper, forty-
eight chaplains in ordinary, ten priests in
ordinary, four chaplains, three preachers,
three readers, sixteen lay gentlemen of the
chapels royal, four organists, two composers,
a violist, a serjeant of the vestry, a groom of
the vestry, a master of the boys, and ten boys
to be mastered. He must not be ill without
evoking the services of two physicians
in ordinary, four physicians extraordinary,
one physician to the household, first and
second physician-accoucheur, one surgeon-accoucheur,
two serjeant-surgeons, one surgeon
to the household, three surgeons extraordinary,
four apothecaries to the person, two
apothecaries to the household, two apothecaries
extraordinary, a chemist, a druggist,
one dentist to the household, two surgeon-
dentists, an aurist, an oculist, and a
surgeon-chiropodist. He is bound to be fond of
music. Woe to the unhappy monarch if he be
not; for he must keep a master of the state band
of music, a conductor, twenty- five performers,
a serjeant-trumpeter, and nine household
trumpeters. He must pay also a poet-laureate,
an examiner of plays, a master of the tenniscourt,
three bargemen and watermen, a keeper
of the swans, a keeper of the jewel-house in
the Tower, an exhibitor of jewels, a principal
librarian, a librarian in ordinary, a painter
in ordinary, a surveyor of pictures, captain
and gold stick, lieutenant and silver stick,
standard-bearer and silver stick, clerk of the
cheque, adjutant and silver stick, gentleman
harbinger and silver stick, two sub-officers,
a secretary to the captain, and forty
gentlemen-at-arms; captain of yeomen body-guard,
lieutenant, ensign, adjutant and clerk of the
cheque, four exempts, assistant adjutant,
eight serjeant-majors, two messengers, one
hundred yeomen; and Governor and Constable
of Windsor Castle.

Having finished the Lord Chamberlain's
department, our fatigued and distracted
monarch, on going into his stables, finds the
Master of the Horse, one principal coachman
and twelve others, four footmen, twenty-six
grooms, chief equerry and clerk marshal, four
equerries in ordinary, an extra equerry, four
pages of honour, crown equerry, and secretary
to the Master of the Horse, first clerk of the
stables, second clerk of the stables, assistant
clerk of the stables, inspector of stables, a
veterinary surgeon, a yeoman rider, a lady
rider, a serjeant-footman, fifteen footmen,
fifty helpers. A Master of the Buckhounds
and Hereditary Grand Falconer cannot be
done without.

We can imagine our bewildered monarch,
exhausted with the labour of the survey,
retiring to a vacant apartment (if such a
place could be found), and, looking over the
list of his host of attendants, attendants'
attendants, and servants of attendants' attendants.
He finds there, the names of members
of the first families in the land, who carry out
the old feudal custom of waiting on the
sovereign; and who, as there are no castles to
be sacked, and as there is no plunder to be
had, are content to receive a common-place