to give me a jade as like?" This sorry
nag has a bad time of it by-and-bye;
"Strek him the bridle" is somebody's
advice, "hold him the reins starters. Pique
strongly. Make to marsh him." The
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals ought to interfere. Our friend is
always in trouble; hear him with a
watchmaker, "I had the misfortune to leave fall
down the instant where I did mounted, it
must to put again a glass;" or with his
servants, "Anciently I had some servants
who were divine my thought. The duty
was done at the instant, all things were
clearly hold one may look on the furnitures
now as you to do see. It is too different,
whole is covered from dust; the pier
glasses, side-boards, the pantries, the
chests of drawers, the wall selves, are
changed of colours." Poor fellow! He
cannot even go to the theatre with any profit.
"What you say of the comedy? Have her
succeeded?" his friend inquires next
morning. Not a bit of it. "It was a drama: It
was whistled to the third scene of last act."
Naturally desirous of knowing the reasons
of this decided "goosing" our friend's friend
proceeds, "Because that?" and our friend's
reason in conclusive, "It whant the vehicle
and the intrigue it was bad conducted."
And we are not surprised to learn that the
audience cut this bad play short and "won't
waited even the upshot."

By the time he has got through the
familiar dialogues the student is considered
sufficiently advanced for higher flights, and
a series of letters of celebrated personages
is offered to his notice. Boileau writes to
Racine, Fenelon "at the Lady the
Marchioness of Lambert," Madame de Sevigné
to "their daughter," and all in English of
the most extraordinary kind.

From these intellectual exercises we pass
on to several pages of anecdotes, of which
let these serve as specimens:

"Siward, Duke of Northumberland,
being very ill, though, he was unworthy
of their courage to expect the death in a
bed, he will die the arms on the hands.
As he felt to approach her last hour he
was commanded to hers servants to arm
of all parts, and they were put him upon
a armchair, keeping the bare sword. He
was challenged the death as a blusterer."
Here, although the last sentence is just a
little obscure, the general meaning is pretty
obvious, but our next example is not so
clear. "A tavern keeper not had fail to
tell theirs boys, spoken of these which
drank at home since you will understand."
"Those gentlemen to sing in chorus, give
them the less quality's wine." But what
are we to think of Sauteuil who "afterwards
to have read one of theirs hymnes
at two friends, was cried of a tone of a
demoniac, 'Here is what may call verses!
Virgil and Horatio was imagined that
nobody, after them, not did dare to compose
some verses in their language. It is
sure that these two princes of the latin
poesy, after to have cut for to tell so, the
orange in two, and to have pressed it have
throwed out it; but I ran next to the orange,
crying wait for: Sir Mantua poet, and
you favourite from Mecinas, expect; I will
do it in zests.'" The solution of this riddle
would be a hard nut even for the ingenious
gentlemen who write answers to
correspondents in the Sunday papers. Another
story begins: "A countryman was
confessed to the parson to have robbed a
mutton at a farmer of her neighbourhood."
Another tells of "a man which had eaten
so many than six." Six what? And, in
yet another, Socrates is described as "the
most vertious of pagans."

After this nothing is left for us but the
idiotisms which appropriately conclude this
remarkable and eminently useful work. The
first idiotism is "the necessity don't know
the low," which seems a good thing for the
low, and the last is "to find the magpie to
nest," which may have some hidden
Portuguese meaning. Between these two
specimens every variety of idiotism is to be
found.

We have quoted exactly and haphazard
from the book which is published as we
have already described. The book appears
to be seriously intended for educational
purposes, and not as a bad joke. There
would appear to be something out of order
in the Portuguese educational system, at
all events as regards modern languages, if
the New Guide of the Conversation has
many students.

INFALLIBLE RELICS.

MONEY is power. No institution was ever
more convinced of the truth of this axiom
than the Romish church. It has, in its
time, dealt in many things; but the two
most productive articles in which it has
ever dealt are relics and indulgences. A
short summary of strange facts under each
of these heads shall form two chapters of
this journal.

All men are more or less fond of relics.
Do not most of us look with interest on
the garments of distinguished people who
lived before us? Are not some of us