takes in, as— " Shallow, sir; a good fellow, but
shallow."

Closely allied to Mysterious Humbug are the
Humbugs of Innocence, Simplicity, and Roughness.
Perhaps, it is under the first of these
headings that the Humbug of children should
be dealt with, though there are plenty of adult
Innocent Humbugs as well. Children are often
terrible impostors, and are ever ready to add
deceit to their other vices. " My dear Mr.
Drivel," says a fond mother, " when my little
boy heard you were coming to dine to-day he
absolutely cried to be allowed to come down to
dessert, that he might see the gentleman who
had written that pretty book all about good little
boys and girls." Now, how very few people
there are who would not be taken in by this—
Drivel certainly would be— the fact being that
the boy had his mind's eye fixed upon the
preserved apricots which he knew would appear
at the dessert, and which, or perchance the figs,
were the real objects of his longings; the desire
to behold the countenance of Drivel, being
assumed in order that the other and more rational
passion might be freely indulged in. Saying
startling things, or asking startling questions,
is another form of Infant Humbug which is
exceedingly common, and which is only to be
checked by taking no notice of these brilliant
sallies. The young gentleman who wanted to
sit up in order to see the distinguished author,
would be very likely to offend in this way, and
Mr. Drivel would be very likely to hear some
of his aphorisms repeated by his fond mamma.
"You, Mr. Drivel, who are so fond of children"
—this may rather be doubted, by-the-by, in
Drivel's case— " will be amused and pleased by
a thing my little boy said the other day. We
were walking in Kensington Gardens and
admiring the pink May, which was out in great
profusion, when little Tommy said to me, quite
suddenly, 'Mamma dear, are there any little
boys and girls who never see this pretty pink
May?' So I said, ' Yes, dear, a great many, I am
sorry to say.'  ' And were do they live?' he asked
next. So I told him that they lived in a great
many parts of London— in St. Giles's especially.
After that, he walked along very quietly for
some time, and seemed to be thinking very
deeply about something, but he didn't say
anything more till just as we were going to leave
the gardens, when he stopped me and said,
' Mamma, is it far to St. Giles's?' ' Yes, dear,'
I said, ' a long, long way.' ' Oh, mamma' he
cried, ' do let me gather some of the pretty pink
May, and let us take it to St. Giles's in a cab,
that those poor boys and girls may see it.' I
thought it such a pretty idea, Mr. Drivel, that I
determined I would tell you the very next time
I had the opportunity."

Nor are these the only exploits of the Infant
Humbug. He is the boy who, when he heard of
the Manchester distress, came to his mamma for
an envelope and a postage-stamp, and who, when
the inquiry was made what he wanted with those
articles, replied that " he would like so to send
the eighteen-pence, which papa gave him, to the
poor people in Lancashire." Upon which papa
presented him with half-a-crown on the spot.
This, again, is the infant who, having got
off learning his lessons by complaining of the
headache, was found bathed in tears because of
the thought that his governess would be
distressed at his want of progress. And, lastly,
this again is the boy who, having had six
oranges given him, distributed them among six
of his playfellows, and would have gone without
any himself, but that his mamma, finding it out
quite by accident, instantly sent out for more,
lest his extraordinary generosity should go
unrewarded.

Of course, this poor little scaramouch was
not half so much to blame as those about
him. Appealing to a child's vanity by repeating
its sayings and doings, is the sure way to make
an infant a Humbug: while the thing might
easily be discouraged by passing over the child's
precocious remarks in silence, and applying to its
displays of generosity the only test which is of
the slightest use — the test of suffering. If
children, old or young, are to get half-a-crown as
the reward of generosity in giving up eighteen-
pence, I am afraid there will be found plenty of
us, of all ages, ready to part with the smaller
coins, in the hope of gaining the larger.

But Innocent Humbug is not entirely confined
to children. Public characters, and persons
distinguished by their talents, have been known to
lapse into it. I heard not long since of a once
celebrated singer with whose praises the very
world was ringing, and who hearing in the
course of conversation her name mentioned in
connexion with some newspaper report,
exclaimed, with a look of surprise, " What! Is it
possible that I am spoken about in the
newspapers?" This was a fair specimen of Innocent
Humbug. It might happen to an Innocent
Humbug to be addressed on some particular
occasion by a total stranger. "How did you
know me, now?" asks the simple one, with an
artless smile. " I knew you," says the stranger,
"by your portraits in the shop windows."
"What!" cries Innocent Humbug, "do they
put portraits of me in the shop windows?" I
once knew a Humbug who walked into an
assembly, with his shoes, which were of course
very large and thick, tied with a piece of
common string, such as worldlings tie up their
parcels with. Instantly, another Humbug took
me aside, and whispered in my ear, " Do
look at dear Mr. Dodger's shoes; aren't they
delightful? You know he hasn't the faintest
idea that they are not like everybody else's."
Now, here is a case illustrative of what I
ventured to assert in an. earlier part of this
chronicle, namely, that Humbugs are in the habit of
defending each other's interest, and shoring each
other up with all their might, for I not only
affirm that in this case the proprietor of these
eccentric shoes was himself aware of their
peculiarity, but I affirm, also, that that other
Impostor who drew attention to the shoes was also
partly aware that they were not put on in good
faith. So that it will be seen that in this