it before, and she had her clothes away and was
sent to prison, and when she was to come out I
trotted off to the gate in the evening with just
a morsel of jelly in that little basket of mine to
give her a mite of strength to face the world
again, and there I met with a very decent mother
waiting for her son through bad company and a
stubborn one he was with his half boots not
laced. So out came Caroline and I says "Caroline
come along with me and sit down under the
wall where it's retired and eat a little trifle that
I have brought with me to do you good" and
she throws her arms round my neck and says
sobbing "O why were you never a mother when
there are such mothers as there are!" she says,
and in half a minute more she begins to laugh
and says "Did I really tear your cap to shreds?"
and when I told her "You certainly did so Caroline"
she laughed again and said while she patted
my face "Then why do you wear such queer old
caps you dear old thing? If you hadn't worn
such queer old caps I don't think I should have
done it even then." Fancy the girl! Nothing
could get out of her what she was going to do
except O she would do well enough, and we
parted she being very thankful and kissing my
hands, and I never more saw or heard of that girl,
except that I shall always believe that a very
genteel cap which was brought anonymous to
me one Saturday night in an oilskin basket by
a most impertinent young sparrow of a monkey
whistling with dirty shoes on the clean steps and
playing the harp on the Airy railings with a
hoop-stick came from Caroline.

What you lay yourself open to my dear in the
way of being the object of uncharitable suspicions
when you go into the Lodging business I
have not the words to tell you, but never was I
so dishonourable as to have two keys nor would
I willingly think it even of Miss Wozenham
lower down on the other side of the way
sincerely hoping that it may not be, though
doubtless at the same time money cannot
come from nowhere and it is not reason to
suppose that Bradshaws put it in for love be it
blotty as it may. It is a hardship hurting to
the feelings that Lodgers open their minds so
wide to the idea that you are trying to get the
better of them and shut their minds so close to
the idea that they are trying to get the better
of you, but as Major Jackman says to me "I
know the ways of this circular world Mrs. Lirriper,
and that's one of 'em all round it" and many
is the little ruffle in my mind that the Major
has smoothed, for he is a clever man who has
seen much. Dear dear, thirteen years have
passed though it seems but yesterday since I was
sitting with my glasses on at the open front
parlour window one evening in August (the parlours
being then vacant) reading yesterday's paper
my eyes for print being poor though still I am
thankful to say a long sight at a distance, when
I hear a gentleman come posting across the road
and up the street in a dreadful rage talking to
himself in a fury and d'ing and c'ing somebody.
"By George!" says he out loud and clutching
his walking-stick, "I'll go to Mrs. Lirriper's.
Which is Mrs. Lirriper's?" Then looking round
and seeing me he flourishes his hat right off his
head as if I had been the queen and he says
"Excuse the intrusion Madam, but pray Madam
can you tell me at what number in this street
there resides a well-known and much-respected
lady by the name of Lirriper?" A little
flustered though I must say gratified I took off my
glasses and curtseyed and said "Sir, Mrs. Lirriper
is your humble servant." "As-tonishing!"
says he. " A million pardons! Madam, may I
ask you to have the kindness to direct one of
your domestics to open the door to a gentleman
in search of apartments, by the name of Jackman?"
I had never heard the name but a
politer gentleman I never hope to see, for says
he "Madam I am shocked at your opening the
door yourself to no worthier a fellow than Jemmy
Jackman. After you Madam. I never precede
a lady." Then he comes into the parlours and
he sniffs and he says "Hah! These are
parlours! Not musty cupboards" he says "but
parlours, and no smell of coal-sacks." Now my
dear it having been remarked by some inimical
to the whole neighbourhood that it always smells
of coal-sacks which might prove a drawback to
Lodgers if encouraged, I says to the Major
gently though firmly that I think he is referring
to Arundel or Surrey or Howard but not
Norfolk. "Madam" says he "I refer to Wozenham's
lower down over the way—Madam you
can form no notion what Wozenham's is—
Madam it is a vast coal-sack, and Miss Wozenham
has the principles and manners of a female
heaver—Madam from the manner in which I
have heard her mention you I know she has no
appreciation of a lady, and from the manner in
which she has conducted herself towards me I
know she has no appreciation of a gentleman—
Madam my name is Jackman—should you
require any other reference than what I have
already said, I name the Bank of England—
perhaps you know it!" Such was the beginning
of the Major's occupying the parlours and from
that hour to this the same and a most obliging
Lodger and punctual in all respects except one
irregular which I need not particularly specify,
but made up for by his being a protection and
at all times ready to fill in the papers of the
Assessed Taxes and Juries and that, and once
collared a young man with the drawing-room
clock under his cloak, and once on the parapets
with his own hands and blankets put out the
kitchen chimney and afterwards attending the
summons made a most eloquent speech against
the Parish before the magistrates and saved the
engine, and ever quite the gentleman though
passionate. And certainly Miss Wozenham's
detaining the trunks and umbrella was not in a
liberal spirit though it may have been according
to her rights in law or an act I would myself
have stooped to, the Major being so much the
gentleman that though he is far from tall he
seems almost so when he has his shirt frill out
and his frock-coat on and his hat with the curly
brims, and in what service he was I cannot truly
tell you my dear whether Militia or Foreign, for