year old when my poor Lirriper died and to
have kept to it ever since is highly creditable.
But we know there's good in all of us—if we
only knew where it was in some of us—and though
it was far from delicate in Joshua to work upon
the dear child's feelings when first sent to
school and write down into Lincolnshire for his
pocket-money by return of post and got it, still
he is my poor Lirriper's own youngest brother
and mightn't have meant not paying his bill at
the Salisbury Arms when his affection took
him down to stay a fortnight at Hatfield
churchyard and might have meant to keep sober
but for bad company. Consequently if the Major
had played on him with the garden-engine which
he got privately into his room without my
knowing of it, I think that much as I should
have regretted it there would have been words
betwixt the Major and me. Therefore my dear
though he played on Mr. Buffle by mistake being
hot in his head, and though it might have been
misrepresented down at Wozenham's into not
being ready for Mr. Buffle in other respects he
being the Assessed Taxes, still I do not so much
regret it as perhaps I ought. And whether Joshua
Lirriper will yet do well in life I cannot say,
but I did hear of his coming out at a Private
Theatre in the character of a Bandit without
receiving any offers afterwards from the regular
managers.

Mentioning Mr. Buffle gives an instance of
there being good in persons where good is not
expected, for it cannot be denied that Mr.
Buffle's manners when engaged in his business
were not agreeable. To collect is one thing
and to look about as if suspicious of the
goods being gradually removing in the dead of
the night by a back door is another, over taxing
you have no control but suspecting is voluntary.
Allowances too must ever be made for a
gentleman of the Major's warmth not relishing being
spoke to with a pen in the mouth, and while I
do not know that it is more irritable to my own
feelings to have a low-crowned hat with a broad
brim kept on in-doors than any other hat still I
can appreciate the Major's, besides which without
bearing malice or vengeance the Major is a man
that scores up arrears as his habit always was
with Joshua Lirriper. So at last my dear
the Major lay in wait for Mr. Buffle and it
worrited me a good deal. Mr. Buffle gives his
rap of two sharp knocks one day and the
Major bounces to the door. "Collector has
called for two quarters' Assessed Taxes" says
Mr. Buffle. "They are ready for him" says the
Major and brings him in here. But on the way
Mr. Buffle looks about him in his usual suspicious
manner and the Major fires and asks him "Do you
see a Ghost sir?" "No sir" says Mr. Buffle.
"Because I have before noticed you" says the
Major "apparently looking for a spectre very hard
beneath the roof of my respected friend. When
you find that supernatural agent, be so good as
point him out sir." Mr. Buffle stares at the
Major and then nods at me. "Mrs. Lirriper
sir" says the Major going off into a perfect
steam and introducing me with his hand.
"Pleasure of knowing her" says Mr. Buffle.
"A—hum!—Jemmy Jackman sir!" says the
Major introducing himself. "Honour of knowing
you by sight" says Mr. Buffle. "Jemmy
Jackman sir" says the Major wagging his head
sideways in a sort of an obstinate fury "presents
to you his esteemed friend that lady Mrs. Emma
Lirriper of Eighty-one Norfolk-street Strand
London in the County of Middlesex in the United
Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Upon
which occasion sir," says the Major, "Jemmy
Jackman takes your hat off." Mr. Buffle looks
at his hat where the Major drops it on the floor,
and he picks it up and puts it on again. "Sir"
says the Major very red and looking him full in
the face "there are two quarters of the Gallantry
Taxes due and the Collector has called." Upon
which if you can believe my words my dear the
Major drops Mr. Buffle's hat off again. "This—"
Mr. Buffle begins very angry with his pen in his
mouth, when the Major steaming more and more
says "Take your bit out sir! Or by the whole
infernal system of Taxation of this country and
every individual figure in the National Debt, I'll
get upon your back and ride you like a horse!"
which it's my belief he would have done and
even actually jerking his neat little legs ready
for a spring as it was. "This" says Mr. Buffle
without his pen "is an assault and I'll have the
law of you." "Sir" replies the Major "if you
are a man of honour, your Collector of whatever
may be due on the Honourable Assessment by
applying to Major Jackman at The Parlours
Mrs. Lirriper's Lodgings, may obtain what he
wants in full at any moment."

When the Major glared at Mr. Buffle with
those meaning words my dear I literally gasped
for a teaspoonful of sal volatile in a wine-glass
of water, and I says "Pray let it go no further
gentlemen I beg and beseech of you!" But
the Major could be got to do nothing else but
snort long after Mr. Buffle was gone, and the
effect it had upon my whole mass of blood when
on the next day of Mr. Buffle's rounds the
Major spruced himself up and went humming a
tune up and down the street with one eye
almost obliterated by his hat there are not
expressions in Johnson's Dictionary to state. But
I safely put the street door on the jar and got
behind the Major's blinds with my shawl on
and my mind made up the moment I saw danger
to rush out screeching till my voice failed me
and catch the Major round the neck till my
strength went and have all parties bound. I
had not been behind the blinds a quarter of an
hour when I saw Mr. Buffle approaching with his
Collecting-books in his hand. The Major likewise
saw him approaching and hummed louder and
himself approached. They met before the Airy
railings. The Major takes off his hat at arm's
length and says "Mr. Buffle I believe?" Mr.
Buffle takes off his hat at arm's length and says
"That is my name sir." Says the Major "Have
you any commands for me, Mr. Buffle?" Says
Mr. Buffle "Not any sir." Then my dear both
of 'em bowed very low and haughty and parted,
and whenever Mr. Buffle made his rounds in
future him and the Major always met and bowed
before the Airy railings, putting me much in